The Bear and the Chipmunk
by ImaginedInsanity
Summary: "I wasn't always like this," Sebastian said softly and so earnestly that Dave almost didn't hear him. He sank down into a chair by the door, four feet from Dave's bed, as if he could catch suicide.   "Neither was I," Dave replied with a sarcastic smile.
1. Chapter 1

**On My Way was amazing and it made me cry... And it also made me write... I have three WIP's and ABSOLUTELY not enough time for each of them, but if this gets a good response I'm adding it to the 'more' column, because I have this idea of them in my head that won't go away now and I'm a sucker for a happy ending :P If no-one cares about it, I'll just leave it as a one-shot, but I would like to explore it a bit because there are two characters here who absolutely know what it is to feel like they are horrible disgusting people, and coming back from that takes a lot of help and courage. Lemme know, 'eh? :P**

"Can I come in?" Sebastian asked nervously from the doorway. "Kurt's just outside if you'd rather talk to him…"

Dave studied him carefully. Sebastian had a reputation at Scandals that was thicker than his mane of hair. Dave had even approached him a few times, wondering if he might be the one to tame _Sebastian Smythe_. The last time they had spoken though had been a couple of weeks before Valentine's Day. Sebastian and his friend had been discussing loudly how stupid Anderson was, and while Dave had felt like it was sort of betraying Kurt, he'd agreed with a grin and followed Sebastian to the jukebox when he had winked at him. The last words Sebastian had said to him were scathing and rude. Dave didn't even realise that Sebastian knew his last name, let alone his personal business.

"You can come in," Dave said guardedly, "But if I kick you out, Kurt will probably tear you to shreds," he shrugged. "You should have seen the way he ripped my mom a new one yesterday."

Sebastian edged into the room, keeping his back against the wall as if afraid to go anywhere near him. He couldn't stop staring at Dave and he was finding it unsettling.

"Stop staring at me!" he warned.

"Sorry!" Sebastian inspected some floral arrangements instead. He read the card aloud. "_Kurt and Blaine_… What are they fucking married now?" he scoffed.

"They've been together for like a year, dude," Dave told him, grateful to have some topic to grasp onto.

"_Really_?" Sebastian asked incredulously, "What does Blaine see in him?"

"_Everything_," Dave told him fiercely, "You don't know him."

Sebastian seemed to realise where he was then, and his face sobered from its snarl.

"You're right, I don't," he allowed, still unable to look Dave in the eye or move closer to his bed. "And I don't really know you either, do I?" he said hesitantly.

Unsure was a strange look for Sebastian. He didn't wear it well. He looked so out of place and lost that Dave sighed and took pity on him.

"It wasn't your fault," he told him, "It was just something you said; it wasn't what made me do it."

Sebastian finally lifted his head to look at Dave and he was shocked to see that the boy's composure was gone entirely and his eyes were shiny.

"I am so sorry," he pleaded, "I never meant it."

"You couldn't help it," Dave told him, feeling strange to be comforting Sebastian.

Sebastian gave him a disgusted look that was aimed at himself rather than Dave.

"Really? How does it happen that everyone thinks I can't help being rude and snarky and mean? Like it's my nature and people can't expect any better of me?" Sebastian had tears that he brushed away furiously, "Kurt said the same thing to me! 'You couldn't have known'. No! But I had no reason to say it! I was trying to hurt your feelings because you were in the way that night when I was trying to hook up with Josh. I knew you'd look at me like I'd kicked your puppy and leave me alone because that's how easy nice guys are to read!"

Dave just stared at him, falling apart under his gaze. Of all the visitors, of all the conversations that he'd envisioned, this one was a surprise.

"I wasn't always like this," Sebastian said softly and so earnestly that Dave almost didn't hear him. He sank down into a chair by the door a good four feet from Dave's bed, as if he could catch suicide.

"Neither was I," Dave replied with a sarcastic smile.

"I want to be your friend," Sebastian said abruptly, looking at Dave with those too-piercing eyes again.

"You don't have gay guy friends," Dave recited, "It's your rule."

"That's because I…" Sebastian cut himself off, changing his sentence quickly. "I want to make you an exception."

"I don't want you to pity me," Dave scoffed, "You're sorry. I'm alive. Let's go back to our relationship where you know nothing about me and sleep with everyone at Scandals except me, and I'll stay out of your way when you're trying to fuck some guy."

Sebastian fell silent.

"Budweiser on Fridays and Saturdays, but bourbon and coke if you're out on a Wednesday or Thursday and your week's already crap. You sit at the bar because you're too shy to approach anyone, but you love it when guys pay you attention. You always order a large fries if you're hungry, even though you only eat about a third. Your fake ID says your name is _Keith Richards_ and that you're _fourty-nine_, but the guys let you in because you're sweet and you don't make trouble."

"How did you get my ID?" Dave asked in bewilderment, amazed that he knew so many trivial details; that he had taken the time to care or pay attention.

"Swiped it when you paid for my drink that time," he shrugged. "The photo is a tiny Mexican wearing a sombrero. I have no idea where you got that thing, but it's both the best and the worst fake I've ever seen."

"Puckerman," Dave supplied.

"Geshundheit?" Sebastian smirked and Dave laughed for the first time in days.

"Guy from McKinley," he told him.

"Hot?" Sebastian asked immediately as if it were a reflex.

"Not my type," Dave hedged.

"Your type is Kurt," Sebastian stated matter-of-factly.

"And you," Dave told him, before blushing madly and stammering, "I mean… thin, tall… sarcastic-funny. Not _you_."

Sebastian looked horrified.

"Did you just compare me to _Hummel_?" he retched loudly and Dave smiled.

"Could be worse," he smiled.

"I don't know how," Sebastian said huffily.

Dave smiled and there was an awkward silence for a bit.

"If it helps, Josh was an awful lay," Sebastian offered finally.

Dave bit out another barking laugh, his throat starting to ache.

"It does actually," he smiled, "Can you bring me the water?"

Sebastian looked at the jug sitting beside him and lifted it. Dave waved his cup in the air and he tentatively came closer to fill it. It was only up close that Dave could see how pale and drawn he looked and could see how dark the circles under his eyes were.

Dave drank thirstily and Sebastian watched him with a strange look on his face.

"I should have just slept with you," he muttered.

Dave spluttered on his water.

"_What_?" he croaked.

"I always stay away from guys like you because it brings back… _memories_…" Dave waited for him to elaborate that point but he didn't, "But you're nothing like _them_. And I knew that. Maybe I could have had the chance at something else with you… You know, I used to just dance with the oldest guys there just to make you crazy some nights."

"Make me crazy?" Dave repeated dumbly, unable to believe what was happening.

Sebastian nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"You wanted to… ask me out?" Dave was confused.

Sebastian laughed hollowly.

"I wanted to fuck you," he corrected harshly, but again, Dave could tell that the loathing was turned towards himself. "I don't do boyfriends."

"Why?" Dave insisted.

"Because that's how I get hurt," he said simply. "Or that's how I hurt you. Fucking is simple. It's quick and fun and no-one gets hurt."

Dave shook his head.

"I wasn't always this way," Sebastian repeated again. He set the jug of water on Dave's bedside table and sat on the end of his bed.

"Maybe you won't always be like this?" Dave suggested gently. Sebastian seemed just as fragile as him. Dave stretched out a hand to Sebastian's holding it gently for a second before-

"I'll get Kurt," Sebastian said immediately, leaping up and dashing to the door.

"Hey!" Dave called when he had the door open. "Friends?"

Sebastian just nodded wordlessly. Dave wondered if he could speak.

**I'd love some reviews on this regardless of if you want more or not :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**HOLY BEJEEBUS! Honestly I can't tell you how overwhelmed I was with such lovely reviews and the sheer amount of them was staggering… I've worked for stories on 6 months and had word counts of 30 000 words before we reached anywhere near this amount of reviews and alerts. THANK YOU! I'm so glad you liked my little drabble I wrote at bedtime on a Wednesday evening in an hour!**

**I hope I can keep up the standard in this chapter! I'm sure any less than 47 reviews for chapter two will feel like a real failure :P**

**Seriously, amazing response and I'm blown away by all your lovely words! **

Dave barely knew how to behave when he was allowed home. He felt absurdly happy that he had chosen to live with his father after the divorce, because he couldn't fathom even speaking to his mother right then. His dad was absurdly cautious, barely leaving him alone, censoring the news and he didn't allow Dave a steak knife with his T-bone at dinner. He'd put on some old sixties bands and the house was continuously permeated with songs about loving yourself and others, and small references to substance abuse that Dave wondered if his father really understood.

He had not been allowed on the internet.

Kurt had called in the afternoon and although the conversation had been short, Dave appreciated the call.

"I'm going to call you every day," Kurt promised him, "Answer me or text me back every time. I don't care if you don't always feel like talking. There will be some days you don't. I just want you to be reminded that I'm always here to talk to."

Dave had been seeing a hospital therapist, but now he was home, his file had been sent to the new psychologist who would be working with him and he had also called in the afternoon to set up twice-weekly appointments. Dave felt like there was suddenly a lot of dependable regularity in his life where there had been none before.

Except when it came to Sebastian. People could hardly call him dependable.

Dave didn't know what to make of him. He hadn't heard from him since his hospital visit and the only mention of him had been from Kurt who had stepped back into the room in awe saying "What in the world did you do to him?"

Dave didn't know whether it was worth mentioning him to Kurt to try to see how he was. Dave felt like Sebastian needed all these rules and people helping him just as much as he did. But he didn't know why. There was something about him that seemed broken. He'd slipped and revealed a bad past, but didn't everyone have a bad past? Why was his still keeping him broken?

Dave told himself he didn't need to worry about Sebastian, that it was none of his business what he did or how he behaved. He told himself that Sebastian had visited out of guilt and nothing more.

But he could still see the haunted look in his eyes that night when he tried to get to sleep.

* * *

><p>"I've been talking to Burt Hummel," his father told him at dinner a few days later. The house was so quiet with unsaid feeling that Dave felt a little startled whenever he heard his father speak. Of course there was always the drone of the 60's records. That night it was The Beatles. His father had flipped the record when <em>Happiness Is A Warm Gun<em> had started to play.

"Oh?" Dave asked, unable to find an appropriate response.

"He said that when Kurt was getting… When things got bad for Kurt that they sent him to Dalton."

Dave knew this. He'd come back from his suspension only to find Kurt transferred and a torrent of abuse from the glee club members. He almost corrected his father to remind him that he was the reason Kurt had had to leave in the first place, but he stopped himself. Everyone knew now. There was no point in re-hashing things.

"Dalton has a football team, a polo team, a glee club, a chess club, higher credit courses and it has a zero-tolerance bullying policy," his dad continued.

"Doesn't it cost like a fortune to go there?" Dave asked, stabbing at a piece of chicken with his fork. At least his father had given up the idea of serving him pre-cut dinners now.

"It's expensive," Paul told him with a nod, "But we can manage it. Haven't you got friends there? That kid who came to visit you in the hospital? What's his name? The singing crab?"

"Sebastian, Dad," Dave smiled.

"Yeah, him. If you already know people there then the battle's half over. Would this kid look out for you?"

Dave shrugged. As much as he wanted to believe that Sebastian would look out for him, it would be a different story once he was in a school environment. Dave knew first-hand how the peer pressure could get to you and force you to act in ways you never thought that you would.

"Reckon you could ask him what he thinks?" Paul asked again, "It's a big down payment if you're going to be miserable. I'd like to send you somewhere safe."

And so, Dave had a legitimate excuse to call Kurt and ask for Sebastian's number.

* * *

><p>Kurt had the decency to keep the intrigue in his tone to a minimum. "Hang on. Let me just grab Blaine's phone. No! Gimme! Blaine, it's Angry Birds not the Olympics, you can have it back in a minute!" Kurt snorted as Blaine said something else, "You're not that good, honey. Now, Dave want's Sebastian's number… Dave want's Sebastian's number… Dave want's Sebastian's… Aha! Blaine! Why is his number listed as <em>Best Sex I Ever Had<em>?"

Dave heard Blaine spluttering in the background, "He must have changed it when we gave him a lift to the hospital! I swear I didn't write that!"

Dave listened to the half-amused bickering and playful flirty banter (complete with the squeals that came with the beginning of a tickle war) for another minute before, "Really, Kurt, I just need his number! I don't need to hear you guys beginning foreplay!"

Kurt shushed Blaine noisily.

"Sorry!" he apologised and gave Sebastian's number, reading the sequence carefully and twice. "What did you need his number for?" Kurt asked as if bursting with the question that was going unanswered.

"Oh, homework," Dave said airily.

"Sure," Kurt agreed.

Dave wondered if Kurt would realise that he didn't have homework because he didn't attend school right now. If he did he didn't make it obvious. He just said, "Tell him to keep his hands away from my boyfriend and get his own!" with a happy voice and told Dave goodbye.

* * *

><p>Dave sat and stared at the scrap of paper in his hand that had Sebastian's number written on it. It seemed silly after all that had happened, but it made him nervous to think of calling him. He'd called Kurt dozens of times and felt that expectation as he waited for him to pick up. But this seemed more than expectation. Dave felt like he was about to smack himself for being a moron, so he grabbed the phone and punched in the number quickly before he could chicken out.<p>

It rang once.

It rang twice.

"Dave?" Sebastian's voice came, out of breath and worried.

"Hi," Dave sighed shakily, willing his voice to stay steady and not break.

"What are you up to?" Sebastian asked. He was still out of breath.

"Nothing," Dave replied, "My dad's watching me like a hawk."

A muffled voice came from the other end of the line. Sebastian answered back in a muffled tone and the voice got angrier.

"Jesus Christ, Seb! You can't stop mid-fuck to answer the phone!"

Dave froze. Holy _shit_.

"Shut the fuck up!" Sebastian snapped frantically, "Get out. I'm bored of you anyway. My hand does a better job than you do!"

Dave stayed silent as he heard a few insults being thrown around, then a belt buckle and finally a door slamming.

"Thanks for that," Sebastian said sarcastically, "I didn't even get to come."

"You didn't have to _answer the phone_!" Dave retorted in horror.

"Well I thought you might want to offer me some wicked phone sex," Sebastian purred.

Dave choked.

"Um… raincheck," he stammered, "I was actually ringing to ask you about Dalton. My dad's thinking about sending me there."

Sebastian's line went quiet.

"Sebastian?" Dave asked hesitantly.

"Do it," Sebastian ordered, "The Warblers will make sure no one gives you crap. Plus you could join the football team and get on as quarterback like immediately. Our last guy was caught screwing the water boy at halftime last game. He forgot to head back out onto the field."

"Are you the water boy?" Dave heard himself tease then grimaced.

"Tell you what, if you get quarterback, I'll go for water boy. Maybe we can carry on tradition." Dave could practically see Sebastian winking at him. "Can you sing?"

"Kinda," Dave replied, "But I don't sing by myself."

"Perfect," Sebastian said smugly, "You can join the Warblers then. They really only exist to back me up, so no one will even notice you."

"Well I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks then," Dave said awkwardly.

"Hey, Dave?" Sebastian asked in a conversational tone.

"Yeah?"

"You sure you're not interested in phone sex? I'm just here and hard and…"

"Bye!" Dave yelped and hung up the phone to Sebastian's gentle mocking laughter.

It was only later that he realised that Sebastian had answered the phone with "Dave?"

Sebastian had his number.

**How was Chapter 2? Live up to the hype? No :P**

**I'm hearing lots of different ship names for Sebastian/ Dave… is there one agreed upon one yet?**


	3. Chapter 3

**I have just sat at my computer this last couple of hours because I can't stop writing while you are all being so ridiculously overwhelmingly responsive… I've been getting a story alert email roughly every 3 minutes… its insane… I'm gobsmacked, like LEGITIMATELY astounded… THANK YOU! Everyone who reviews – you are so lovely and kind and inspiring and humbling and I hope you'll understand why I can't reply to you all! **

**This is Sebastian's point of view… Some funny stuff and then some very dark stuff… I go into Sebastian's backstory here, and I think it might be upsetting so please stop reading if it's triggering and I'll give a summary of the story at the bottom.**

**Also, rating upped to M…**

**WARNING: Description of sexual assault in this chapter. May be triggering. **

Sebastian winced as he urged his erection to go down. He thought about Dave and his transfer. He was looking forward to being able to see more of him. Maybe even teach him the rules of being gay. The guy had clearly never so much as kissed a boy, let alone fucked one. Sebastian could turn him into the perfect wingman. Guys would be flocking to him after he set him up with a brand new reputation. Big burly guys were sort of a rarity at Dalton; most of the rich preppy boys were slender and fragile. The gay guys would probably love the idea of a guy strong enough to fuck them up against a wall. Sebastian found his erection growing harder at the thought and he recoiled in shock.

He was attracted to the Karofsky kid on some masculine level, but he was too bulky; too able to overpower him and…

Of course the idea of Dave holding him down and fucking into him was a good one. But what was really freaking Sebastian out was the fact that he _never_ bottomed. He hadn't since… What kind of fucked up thoughts was he having that he was suddenly getting hard at the thought of being dominated by a guy who reminded him so much of _that_ night?

Dave was the one who was crazy, not _him_, he reminded himself.

Still he couldn't help himself typing a message with shaky hands.

**About that raincheck…?**

He was sweaty from his almost-sex and his heart was beating quicker than he had ever felt it. Dave was suddenly this strange person to be feared and liked and cared for and taught, and not the likable, chubby wallflower from Scandals.

_**Not a chance, Feisty. **_

Sebastian smiled at that.

**Feisty, huh? Can I call you Flannel?**

_**I don't wear flannel.**_

**Careful, you're sounding like Hummel.**

_**You mean Fancy? :P**_

**We sound like smurfs. Fancy Fag, Feisty Fag, Flannel Fag… What can we call Blaine?**

_**Foppish? Every time I see him he's dressed like my grandfather.**_

**Foppish Fag… I like it! I'm changing his name in my contacts.**

There were a few minutes without any reply and Sebastian began to wonder if Dave would even bother. It was about ten o'clock and the conversation had reached that crossroads where you either change the subject or stop texting.

_**What are you doing?**_

Sebastian found himself smiling as he typed his reply, then realised that he was and dropped the grin.

**Trying to coax you into phone sex, remember?**

_**Good luck with that…**_

**Oh, now that just gives me more incentive! Come on, lend a friend a hand, would you?**

_**Lend yourself a hand… Sweet dreams, Sebastian… ;)**_

**That reminds me, are you going to board at Dalton?**

_**What do you do?**_

**I board. My dad's always out and my stepmother would rather have boob jobs and parties than make sure I do my homework. **

_**That sounds bad. Sorry.**_

**It's ok. It's better for me to board anyway so my dad doesn't find my cock ring.**

…_**I think I'll probably just be a day student. Cheaper.**_

**You'll stay behind for study sessions most nights anyway… you may as well get a room.**

_**I don't want to abandon my dad after what I just did to him. I don't think he'd handle me living away.**_

**Fair enough.**

_**Anyway, you were jerking off. Night.**_

**Night… ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….. :P**

_**You're obscene… **_

Sebastian was grinning now. He was absolutely, Cheshire-cat grinning. He hadn't felt so happy in ages. It was ridiculous really. He never texted guys unless they were sending him pictures of their junk or he was texting them his room number to come and blow him.

Sebastian didn't know what it was about Dave that was so different. By all rights he should be terrified of him. But he somehow found himself wanting to know him and wanting to make him smile.

And _that_ was the part that was truly terrifying.

* * *

><p>It was three years ago. Sebastian Smythe was a fourteen-year-old boy. He was at a party his dad was throwing for winning a big case. He had been allowed to have some champagne. A few of the interns from his dad's department had adopted him, thinking it was hilarious to watch him taste alcohol, and letting him try sips of punch and gin and vodka and rum. They found their way to an empty conference room.<p>

Truth or Dare: The Official Game of Inebriation.

It came out during the conversation that Sebastian was gay. He'd kissed three boys and a girl, and had given and received a hand job with his last boyfriend.

"You've never had your cock sucked, kid?" one demanded and Sebastian had shaken his head, embarrassed and drunk.

The three interns were all stocky guys in their twenties. Sebastian didn't know how it happened, but suddenly one of them was dared to suck his cock and before he had the chance to even think about it, there was a mouth enveloping his penis. The blowjob didn't last long, but Sebastian was dazzled and they laughed at his expression.

Then someone was dared to fuck Sebastian's mouth. He had been taking a sip of his champagne when suddenly there was a cock in his face and he didn't know what to do except open his lips. It was rough and he choked a few times, but he tried hard in earnest because the guys were beginning to egg him on.

"Come on, cocksucker. Suck that cock down. That's it, baby."

He was concentrating so hard on trying not to vomit, and keeping his teeth covered that he barely noticed them plying his pants and underwear down around his knees.

A dry finger was forced inside him and he cried out in pain and shock, almost gagging as the one fucking his mouth grabbed his head to keep him still.

"You need to spit on your finger, idiot," one muttered. There was a wet finger intruding and Sebastian felt the fingers pump inside him a few times.

"Hey, let him suck me for a bit," a voice said, and Sebastian's mouth was empty, then full and he gagged again as the cock hit the back of his throat. "Okay, you can have him back now, I just wanted lube."

Then Sebastian had a chance to gulp down a few breaths as the one who had been rocking into his mouth left him. Suddenly the three of them were pushing him firmly backwards onto the leather lounge and he was suddenly more terrified than he had ever been in his life. They were too strong; so enormous and beefy that he had no chance. He screamed out as one pressed his hard cock against him and into him, but they covered his mouth with hands and then were back fucking his throat as he was raped.

Sebastian Smythe was raped when he was fourteen, by men who worked with his father.

He'd long since learnt to ignore the tightness in his chest when someone called him 'baby', but he'd never forgotten the way he lost his virginity, or the last time he'd bottomed. He learned to cope by being in control all the time. Confidence was sexy, and he was the most confident person he could possibly be. If he had been confident back when he was fourteen then he would have had the power, not those men.

He stayed away from boys like David Karofsky on purpose. Anyone who was strong and looked like they could hold him down. He'd loved the idea of Blaine so much mostly because he was the most obvious bottom he'd ever seen and there wasn't a violent bone in his body.

Sebastian liked sex. He needed sex like it was approval. He didn't see the parallels of how he would fuck some boy and rock his world then never call him again to the night he was raped. He always gave them a choice. "Do you want me?" he'd ask, and they would always say yes.

But he always stayed to twinks and virgins. He wouldn't even approach bears.

It was too risky.

So sex dreams about Dave were reasons to hyperventilate as Sebastian did at three in the morning.

* * *

><p><strong>Summary for skippers: Sebastian was raped when he was fourteen by men from his dad's work. They were of a similar build to Dave and he had never bottomed since…<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it got a bit dark there! I wanted to get that out of the way so you know why he acts like he does, even if Dave doesn't figure it out right away!<strong>

**BTW: I was totally joking about the "less than 47 reviews on chapter two would be a failure" thing, but you guys actually came close… Fucking incredible…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Still blown away by the response for this story! Pumping out chapters as fast as I can, guys! So many of you are still reviewing and alerting and favouriting and it's making me SO happy and amazed (especially since this is such a strange story for me to be popular because of :P ) **

**Hey, hey, hey guys? Who wants to go on a shopping trip with Dave and Sebastian? Okay! Let's go!**

"Kurt, why do I need to buy new clothes for Dalton? I'll be in a uniform every day!" Dave complained and Blaine smiled at him kindly. Blaine was strange, Dave had decided. The only times they had ever met each other before now, he'd shoved the kid around and had been doing shit to Kurt. Dave supposed that Kurt had asked Blaine to befriend him as well. Either way, he wasn't complaining. He needed all the friends he could get.

"There will be after-school study sessions, and get togethers," Kurt reminded him, "And I have to help you accessorise the uniform. Blaine never let me because he was such a goody-goody, but I got away with brooches and belts… different cardigans. All ways to spice up a good outfit!"

Dave stared at him.

"Kurt, do you see what I'm wearing?" he fisted out a handful of cheap fabric to indicate his tee and jeans.

"Unfortunately, yes!" Kurt huffed and sipped his coffee.

"I think he looks fine," Sebastian spoke from behind Dave and Kurt's eyes got a strange gleam in them. "Homeless, but fine."

"I'm not homeless," Dave said calmly and ignored the jibe.

"I can't believe I agree with Kurt, but he's right. You can't wear that charming ensemble at Dalton. He's definitely not taking you shopping though. He'd have you wearing a feather boa and a snorkel, which is _so_ last season."

"Well, what do you suggest, Sebastian?" Blaine asked innocently, holding a hand in front of Kurt's mouth as he tried to retort.

"_I'll_ take him shopping," Sebastian said, "It'll be great! I can feel like Sandra Bullock taking around that black kid in _The Blind Side_."

"I'm not homeless, Sebastian," Dave reminded him again.

"Shhh," Sebastian put a finger to Dave's lips, "I – I…"

Sebastian stammered and his confident façade was gone again like it had crumbled in the hospital room. Dave could feel how soft his finger was on his bottom lip, and he fought a strange urge to lick it. Sebastian's gaze was on his fingertip where it lay against Dave's lips.

Blaine coughed in an obvious way.

"I'm going to go get coffee," Sebastian said immediately, brushing his finger on his jacket, "_Cute-waiter-I'm-going-to-fuck_ is working today."

Dave's eyes fell to the table as Sebastian walked away.

He played with a sugar sachet and tried not to dwell on the fact that he had felt jealous of a nameless barrista.

"So!" Kurt broke the silence with a sly grin, "Sebastian's taking you shopping."

"Looks like it," Dave said dully.

"You and Sebastian, trying on clothes together," Kurt continued teasingly, "Maybe you'll finally admit that you like him when your eyes meet in Banana Republic's dressing rooms."

"I don't like Sebastian! He's barely even a friend…" Dave denied vehemently.

"It was Cute-waiter-I-_already_-fucked," Sebastian sat down, sipping coffee with a forced look on his face, "They all start to look the same after a while."

Dave widened his eyes as Sebastian sat down next to him. Kurt returned the look. How much had he heard?

"So, Davey," Sebastian said, "You don't like me? That's not what you said when you gave me that raincheck on phone sex the other night…"

Dave inhaled his coffee and coughed loudly and Sebastian patted him on the back.

"Gag reflex," he said sympathetically, "Happens to the best of us."

Kurt looked positively appalled. Blaine just looked amused.

"It's actually fun to see you sexually harassing _other_ people, Sebastian," he laughed, "But leave Dave alone."

Sebastian stared at Blaine and for a second Dave thought he would reply with some snide comeback. Instead his face softened and he nodded.

They sat in silence for a while which seemed uncomfortable given both Kurt and Sebastian's high prevalence to talk non-stop. When Dave had finished his coffee Sebastian took his cup and went to dispose of it with his own. Dave watched him.

"Ready?" Sebastian asked and Dave looked at him strangely. "Shopping? You, me, change rooms, nudity. Let's go!"

"No nudity," Dave corrected but stood up with a small smile.

"How do you expect to try on clothes, Dave?" Sebastian winked. They said their goodbyes to Kurt and Blaine and kept up the strange flirtatious argument all the way to Sebastian's car.

Kurt smiled at Blaine.

They high-fived and grinned at each other.

* * *

><p>"So what do you normally wear?" Sebastian asked as they walked through the mall.<p>

"This?" Dave motioned to himself again.

Sebastian made a noise like a buzzer. "Nnnnnnn, wrong! Next?"

"Po…lo…shirts?" Dave asked slowly, unsure if he would get a slap.

Sebastian considered him carefully. Dave felt quite uncomfortable feeling his eyes roaming over him so studiously.

"I think you could pull off a polo," Sebastian nodded decisively; "You've got nice arms."

"Oh, really?" Dave heard himself ask before he realised he was flirting.

Sebastian winked at him and gave a bicep a firm squeeze.

"They're okay," he grinned, "If you wanted to lift a car or something."

"I could bench press you, easy," Dave boasted, "Seriously, you're tall, but there's nothing to you. I could totally win in a fight." Dave grinned happily as he walked, but Sebastian froze. Dave spun around to see where he was and saw him several feet back. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Sebastian snapped and trotted to catch up. "Let's get you some damned polo shirts, I guess."

* * *

><p>Dave felt like he'd done nothing but stand around half-nakedly most of the morning. He pulled shirt after shirt over his head, only to meet Sebastian's derision. He'd suspected that Sebastian was just trying to perve, but Sebastian seemed to be surprisingly well-behaved around his undressed form, diverting his gaze away and keeping at least four feet of empty space between them at all times.<p>

Finally Dave had acquired a handful of shirts that hadn't been received with sour head shakes and commands of "Take that off right now!" It would have been sexy if Sebastian hadn't practically thrown an arm in front of his face to avoid seeing his bare chest.

"Okay, pants," Sebastian sighed, like he was undergoing torture.

"What?"

"You need pants that actually have a shape. I'm not saying you have to have detachable balls like Hummel, just that you need something that can show off your ass a bit."

Sebastian tried to remind himself why he was doing this. If Dave was good looking and friendly with him, his own reputation would improve. People seemed to dwell on Sebastian's bad points and brushed every nice thing he ever did aside. So if he had a wingman who could let his one-nighters down easily, and possibly give them pity sex to boot, then he would have a chance at being liked. Sebastian didn't really understand why he suddenly cared what people thought of him, but he thought it had something to do with what Dave had said to him. People just assumed that he had no other default but mean, and he was going to change that. Besides, he'd noticed that people were a lot more likely to do things to help nice people.

Dave just took the pair of jeans that Sebastian handed him without question and began to peel off his own.

"Hey! Use the change room!" Sebastian exclaimed.

"Why?" Dave grinned, "Having trouble keeping your eyes off me?"

Sebastian actually felt himself get a little hard at the sight of Dave with his jeans unbuttoned and revealing white boxer briefs – the kind that made guys cocks look amazing and _holy fuck_ huge.

"Like what you see, baby?" Dave flirted playfully, putting on a stupid voice.

"_Don't call me that_!" Sebastian shouted and he suddenly realised he had been stepping backwards when his back hit a wall.

"Hey, I was only joking," Dave said softly, noticing the absolute terror that Sebastian was trying so hard to hide.

"Well don't!" Sebastian snapped.

Dave went back into the change rooms in silence and tried on the jeans.

"You want to approve them?" he called softly.

Silence.

"Sebastian?"

Dave opened the door and looked around the store for him. He couldn't see him anywhere. He went back into the change rooms and got dressed in his own clothes, half-folding the clothes he was buying and taking them to the counter. The attendant wasn't at the counter. Dave waited for a few minutes, and then decided he would head to the door of the store room to call for service. He pushed the door open a little and jumped back in shock.

Sebastian was leaning against the wall, head thrown back as his hands fisted in the hair of the male attendant. Dave couldn't look away. Sebastian had the guy held firmly and he was fucking his mouth. The guy was making little moaning noises as Sebastian got faster.

Dave didn't know why he couldn't look away. Sebastian's eyes were closed and his neck was exposed and his hair was a little messed up. His pants were around his knees and his thighs were strong and rippled with muscles working hard to keep fucking.

"Oh, fuck!" Sebastian bit out and the attendant moaned louder.

Sebastian opened his eyes, probably to look down at the guy giving him the blow job, but his eyes almost immediately fell on Dave. Dave looked embarrassed but Sebastian grinned.

"Enjoying… uhhhh… the show?" he bit out, his thrusts getting deeper into the guy's throat.

Dave just stared and tried not to focus on Sebastian's lust-blown eyes or the fact that his ass looked amazing.

Instead he just stared at Sebastian. He couldn't have moved if he'd wanted to. Some otherworldly force was keeping him tied to the spot, and forcing him to watch.

Sebastian noticed Dave try to absentmindedly rearrange himself in his pants.

"Ughhhh!" Sebastian jerked the guy's head back and came on his throat; white globs of his come sliding down his neck. He pulled the guy up and licked up the mess, thrusting a hand over the guy's erection and ordering him to come. He did. In his pants.

Sebastian shoved him away gently and pulled up his own pants, feeling Dave's eyes on him.

"Did you find what you needed, honey?" he asked Dave sweetly.

The attendant's face dropped in horror as he saw Dave watching them straighten up.

Dave didn't trust his voice and just nodded.

The attendant rushed out to the counter to serve Dave and Sebastian smirked as he wrapped his arms around Dave and lay his head on his shoulder.

The attendant looked like he was in shock. Sebastian decided to take pity on him.

He reached across the counter and pulled the guy's nametag towards him, so the guy had to lean in.

"Thank you for all your help," Sebastian took an obvious look at his nametag, "Jeremiah."

"Uh… it's um… okay," Jeremiah spluttered. His voice was raspy and dry, probably from having his throat fucked viciously by Sebastian's cock.

Dave had no choice but to follow as Sebastian sauntered out of the store, wriggling his hips as he walked.

**Sebastian is so messed up :(**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is a bit hard for me. I have a best friend who attempted suicide a few years ago and hugging him for the first time after it happened (and every time since) really reminded me of what could have happened. So that's in there.**

**I love you all so much :D You guys are SUCH dedicated reviewers, honestly it blows me away how much love you all have for this little story! **

**Dalton Dave! :P**

"What the fuck was that?" Dave demanded as he trotted after Sebastian, lugging his bags awkwardly.

"A mediocre blowjob, obviously," Sebastian said calmly, "Are you hungry? I could really go for a sandwich. Lunch? I'll even treat you so you can feel special!" His tone was sarcastic and his face had a smirk but Dave could still see that hollow look in his eyes.

"Of course you're hungry, you just came all over some guy's neck," Dave hissed. Sebastian laughed.

"Look at you! And here I thought you were a prude!" Sebastian opened and closed his mouth a couple of times distastefully, wriggling his tongue. "I shouldn't have cleaned up. I hate the taste of my own co…"

"- Stop!" Dave insisted, shaking his head, "What the hell is wrong with you? You don't know that guy and you let him suck your dick in a backroom! What if he gave you something?"

"A happy ending?" Sebastian grinned.

"You're unbelievable," Dave shook his head, "I can't understand how you can just slut around like this."

Sebastian really did laugh this time.

"Dave, _girls_ are sluts. I'm… worldly," Sebastian flashed him a toothy grin. "Subway? I could really go for a _foot-long_ all of a sudden…"

Dave couldn't help but smile at that one.

"Fine. But I'm not putting out," Dave smiled.

Sebastian gave him a strange knowing look that he couldn't really understand but said no more and merely lead the way.

* * *

><p>"Dalton has three rules. Learn them. No laziness, no violence, no bullying. As long as you strive to achieve, this will be the best place you could hope to be, Mr Karofsky," the office lady droned. She had a particularly low, nasal voice and Dave was struggling to pay attention to everything. It was a Sunday which was ridiculous, but Dalton apparently had extension lessons on the weekend and he had been advised to turn up then so he could get his bearings.<p>

"Here's your locker combination, a map of the grounds, your daily planner, your text books, a list of the assignments you've missed that you'll need to make up, Dalton issue stationary, Dalton issue gym bag, Dalton issue sweatshirt, your timetable of classes, the timetable of extracurricular activities and the forms for application – every student must choose two, your tie and your jacket."

Dave gawped at her as she piled things into his arms. He couldn't see over the top of the pile, just mumbled "Fank foo," and stumbled away.

Dalton hid their lockers away. There were allocated rooms that held the lockers on each floor. Dave's was on the first floor. He tried to pull out his map from the bottom of the pile and it managed to flutter away from him. Dave watched it float away in dismay. He attempted to bend down to reach it with a spare pinky, balancing his new belongings precariously.

"You are actually all kinds of adorable," Sebastian drawled in his ear, sneaking up behind him. Dave yelped and dropped the pile.

Dave glared at Sebastian.

"Look at you in your dress pants!" he exclaimed, ignoring Dave, "You actually look like a human being!"

"Thanks I think," Dave felt his face turn red. He hadn't seen nor heard from Sebastian since their trip to the mall and the image of Sebastian naked and coming swam irrationally to the forefront of his brain.

"Put that on," Sebastian bent down to grab the tie from the scattered mess and tossed it at Dave.

Dave stared at it, fingers shaking. The last time he had tied a tie had been…

"_I'll_ do it for you," Sebastian sighed loudly, mistaking his unease for ineptitude and flung the ends of the tie around Dave's neck. He turned up Dave's collar and leant in a little to tie the knot. Dave noticed that Sebastian was just a little taller than him, so his throat and lips were right in Dave's eye line. Sebastian poked out his tongue in the corner of his mouth as he worked, focusing on nothing but the tie. Dave noticed how pink his lips were and how his mouth seemed to almost have cartoon lines at the corners. Dave took a shaky breath and got a waft of Sebastian's aftershave or cologne or scent or something. Whatever it was it smelled amazing. Dave was all too familiar with the smells of guy's aftershave and deodorant, having spent most of his life in locker rooms. But there was something about Sebastian's that made him feel _hungry_.

"There," Sebastian said smoothly, "All done." He raised his head and found himself staring into Dave's eyes. Dave had his eyebrows raised and he looked like he was struggling with something internal. Sebastian realised his hands were still resting on Dave's shoulders and he stroked at his collar absentmindedly.

"What are you doing?" Dave suddenly pleaded with him, his voice was soft, needy and sweet and Sebastian wondered what he _was_ doing. He had stayed away from Dave after he had called him baby and he had almost lost it. Dave was too dangerous.

So why did standing like this, fondling his collar and lips only inches apart feel so deliciously _right_?

"Your collar," Sebastian managed by way of explanation and ran his hands back down Dave's chest as he took them back. Shivers were creeping up his arms at the feel of Dave's chest beneath his fingers. He bent down and reached for Dave's jacket. He held it up to Dave expectantly so he could turn around and put his arms through the sleeves. Dave did up the buttons then turned around.

Sebastian _whined_.

"What?" Dave laughed.

"I _should_ have just fucked you," Sebastian complained, "I won't get a chance now. As soon as the guys see you your cock will be booked out for the next year."

"Is that your way of telling me I look hot?" Dave grinned.

"Not just hot, spectacular!" Sebastian insisted, "I never would have thought that this," he indicated to Dave's whole body with his hands, "was what you were hiding under those dumpy jeans and letterman jackets! I'm burning all your clothes I don't approve of."

"Do you know how weird it is when you're nice?" Dave laughed and bent down to pick up the papers and books he'd dropped. "It makes me feel like you're setting me up."

Sebastian started at that.

"Really?" he said sadly, his eyes suddenly massive and glistening. "Dave…" Sebastian's voice broke a little, "I'm your friend. At least I hope I am. I don't want to be that guy anymore."

Dave loosened his tie and placed a hand on Sebastian's shoulder gently.

"I know exactly what you mean. I used to bully Kurt and a lot of other people because I was scared of people seeing who I really was. And it's hard to _stop_. Sooner or later you're saying _awful_ things without even thinking about them and it becomes habit. But you _can_ stop. You can take care of yourself by _not_ having sex with people you don't know or care about. You can make an effort to smile at people. You can think before you say things. You can keep being my friend. You are, you know?"

Dave smiled and loosened his tie again. It was tight around his neck and it was making him panic as he remembered the way the belt had felt…

Sebastian slapped his hand away.

"Stop! I had it perfect!" He made to fix it, but Dave caught his hand and held it firmly, trying to breathe steadily.

Sebastian felt scared as soon as Dave grabbed his arm. Dave's fingers bit into his wrist and he couldn't move. He was so big and strong and Sebastian yanked his arm as hard as he could, almost reefing it out of its socket in his bid to get away. Dave let him go in shock.

"Sorry," he apologised uncertainly, "I can't have it too tight… after… you know…"

Sebastian felt his heart restart and he breathed. He saw the hurt in Dave's eyes and registered his words. He'd never asked how he'd tried. Sebastian felt his hand fly to his mouth and he knew he was gaping in shock.

"I'm so _sorry_, Dave," he loosened Dave's tie immediately and kept his hands on his neck, feeling his pulse strong and alive under his fingers. He was beginning to feel dizzy at the thought of how close Dave had come to dying and how lucky Sebastian was to have this second chance at retribution to be his friend.

Sebastian stepped forward abruptly and hugged Dave, who seemed very surprised at the contact, but wrapped his arms around him in return. Sebastian lay his head on Dave's shoulder. It was so amazing to feel him warm and alive and strong. It seemed like such an inner turmoil for Sebastian. Half his body wanted to scream and run and the other half never wanted to let him go.

Dave squeezed him a little tighter, playfully and Sebastian quickly jumped back and cleared his throat.

"Are you right finding your way?" he asked, "I've got to be at a study session in…" he looked at his watch, "ten minutes ago."

"Yeah, I'm fine," Dave smiled. "Go."

Sebastian smiled and found it peculiar how his heart was beating fast when Dave hadn't done anything particularly triggering. He walked away and got to the spiral staircase taking it two steps at a time.

"Hey, Smythe!" Dave called from the bottom, and Sebastian leaned over the railing to peer down at him. He raised his eyebrows in question. "I'll save you an appointment if you want!"

Dave grinned and Sebastian felt his chest tighten at the words.

"Raincheck," he called back, his voice wavering.

**Dalton is fun :D I've only ever had ONE other story that took place at Dalton at all (and it was a crappy one-shot :P ) I'm going to have fun! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, this chapter wrote itself really strangely and went in a completely different way than I was expecting… Still I liked what came out… These guys keep possessing my fingers as I type, I swear! **

**Utterly gobsmacked that we are nearly at 200 reviews for 6 measly chapters… to compare, I have a 14 chapter story that I first began drafting like five years ago and turned it into Klaine last year and it has like 108 reviews and no one ever reads it :P You guys are freaking insane :D **

**I LOVE IT! :p**

"I have something for you," Kurt announced as he waltzed into Dave's house on Sunday afternoon. Dave had only stayed at Dalton as long as it had taken to meet teachers and find classrooms. He hadn't seen Sebastian again, but he'd texted him.

_**This school is amazing. I feel snobby.**_

**It is snobby. It wears off on you too. Look at me. I was so sweet and innocent before I came here.**

_**Haha, it's hilarious to ever picture you as innocent. I think you were probably propositioning guys when you were in kindergarten.**_

**Not until I was fourteen.**

Dave hadn't really known what to make of the serious response so he had just texted back a quick joke.

_**Awww, hadn't you even had a blow job? Late bloomer! (I'm being funny… I'm a later bloomer than you :P )**_

"What do you have for me, Kurt? Hello to you too by the way!" Dave smiled.

Kurt sort of blushed.

"Is your dad home?"

"No, he's at a barbeque," Dave replied, unnerved by the calculating and terrified look in Kurt's eyes.

"Good. Sit down," Kurt indicated the couch.

Dave smirked at being ordered what to do in his own house but obeyed.

"Here," Kurt handed him a stack of magazines and pamphlets. Dave almost dropped them when he realised what they were. "You need to be comfortable with your sexuality, Dave. I know it'll be easy to be out at Dalton, they make it so easy it's almost normal. But Dalton isn't normal. And you need to know this stuff because as soon as you start getting interested in some guy at Dalton then you'll need this."

"And porn and sex ed pamphlets are the key to happiness?" Dave hissed. "Kurt, I'm not about to just start having sex with guys, whether I'm gay or not. I'm not Sebastian!"

Kurt eyed him curiously.

"What happened when you guys went shopping?" he pressed curiously, "You never did tell me."

Dave felt embarrassed and he couldn't understand why. He wasn't the one who had fucked a stranger's mouth in the back room. Sebastian wasn't his boyfriend or anything, why should he feel embarrassed for his behaviour?

"He hooked up with the cashier in the back room," Dave said sternly and then felt awful for saying it. He felt like he was betraying a trust.

"_He what?_" Kurt screeched, "What, he screwed him?"

"_No_," Dave corrected earnestly, "He just let the guy blow him."

"He's a slut," Kurt sneered, "It's disgusting."

"_He is not_!" Dave denied furiously, "Don't call him that! You don't even know him!"

Kurt got a horrified look on his face.

"You _really do_ like him, don't you?" he looked worried; "I thought you might be able to distract Sebastian and guilt him into behaving like a decent human being. But you like him! He's no good for anyone, Dave; he'll rip you to shreds!"

"I can take care of myself Kurt," Dave said, "I know you think I'm fragile and innocent or whatever, but I think I'm tough enough to take on Sebastian," Dave scoffed at the thought.

"I don't mean in a fight, Dave," Kurt said seriously, "I mean, he'll let you fall in love with him, encourage it, fuck you, then ignore you."

"Easy," Dave smiled, "I won't fall in love with him."

Kurt still looked uneasy.

"At least read the brochures?" he encouraged in a small voice, "They helped me a lot."

"Thanks, Kurt," Dave ran a hand over them cautiously as if they might nip at his fingers. "Not that I need preparing for anything, but thank you for the thought."

"Just promise me you won't do something stupid like fall in love with Sebastian?"

"I promise."

LINEBREAKSAREBROKEN LINEBREAKSAREBROKEN LINEBREAKSAREBROKEN LINEBREAKSAREBROKEN

Dave checked his phone after Kurt left and he had had dinner with his dad and headed to his room. He had a message and a missed call from Sebastian.

**When was your first blowie then, big boy? Give? Take?**

_**I'm not playing text truth or dare with you, Seb.**_

**Seb? No one calls me that.**

_**I do. Deal with it.**_

**You're bossy tonight. I like it.**

_**Kurt brought me gay sex manuals and warned me to stay away from you because you'd fuck me and break my heart. **_

Dave didn't know what made him write it. All he knew was that his fingers were flying and he had pressed 'send' without thinking about the consequences. There was a deafening silence coming from his phone. Sebastian had been answering each message within a minute or so. Dave's bedroom clock ticked past three minutes, then four, then five, then seventeen. He was worried. He didn't know how to fix the mistake.

**Kurt's idea of porn is probably Bond's underwear models in the Wal-mart catalogues. I sent you some helpful videos. Watch them. Doors closed and locked. **

_**I didn't say he gave me porn… **_

**Watch. Them. Now.**

Dave went to his computer with trepidation, but he was slightly curious. He'd watched porn before. But he'd always found that he'd only ever been able to get off when it was a threesome. The kind his friends called "the wrong kind of threesome"; the kind with two guys. Maybe if he was more comfortable with the idea of gay sex and knew a little bit more about how it was supposed to go, then he wouldn't have felt so outraged at Sebastian's behaviour.

So he clicked on Sebastian's email (it was titled "Happy wanking, Homo!") and pressed play on the video. He put in his headphones. It wasn't a high quality video. Instead it was a shaky image on top of a dresser, filming the mirror that reflected the bed. The two guys were already doing it. Dave was sure porn was supposed to start with foreplay (he hadn't even gotten hard yet and they were probably ready to come) but he thought it might be better to get a taste of the real deal first to see what he liked. There was a skinny boy holding his knees high above his waist as a taller boy fucked him ruthlessly.

"Like that?" the taller boy grunted and continued to pump his hips furiously despite the smaller one's cries. Dave wasn't sure if they were cries of pleasure or pain, but the guy let out a wail and the taller one swore madly. He pulled off him and for the first time, Dave saw his face.

It was Sebastian.

Dave closed the internet browser before he had time to truly comprehend what he had watched.

_**Why the hell would you send me that? **_

Dave typed with shaky fingers and felt sick. There was a cold sort of anguish building inside him and he had no idea what it was about. That was the second time he had seen Sebastian having sex, and Dave couldn't erase the picture of his hips or the line of his ass and those glimpses he had caught of the secret place between his cheeks.

Dave's phone rang and he answered it.

"Well?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian said softly, "I don't know why I sent you that."

"Did you want to make me angry? Jealous? Humiliate yourself?" Dave raged. He didn't know what this feeling was and the fact that he couldn't describe it only added to his anger.

"You were jealous?" Sebastian asked in a small voice that seemed to hide a smile.

"Is that your game?" Dave fumed. "I guarantee you, Sebastian, it won't work."

"What won't?" Sebastian sounded genuinely puzzled.

"You. Trying to get me to fall in love with you and fuck you then you ignore me! Kurt told me!"

Sebastian breathed heavily and Dave felt like he'd gone too far somehow.

"You listen to everything Kurt tells you, do you?" he asked dangerously, "Kurt just wants you for himself. He's gathering his pick of suitors and he's mad that I won't come to the party."

"Fuck off, he loves Blaine you idiot! He's not going to leave him! He told me so on Valentine's Day!"

There was a pause. Then, "Valentine's Day?" Sebastian's voice was thick and silky with discovery of a secret. "You told him you loved him, didn't you?" he purred, "You told him and he turned you down."

"So what?" Dave fought back defiantly.

"Oh, Dave! So, _everything_! He doesn't want to see you move on and me happy with someone else!"

"Someone like you?" Dave accused.

"_Maybe_!" Sebastian shot back loudly, then backtracked, "I mean, anyone really."

They sat quietly listening to each other breathe through the telephone line for a moment.

"I'm sorry I sent you that video. It was the wrong thing to do," Sebastian said, finally.

"I'm sorry you sent it too," Dave smiled despite himself. Sebastian barked out a laugh. "Why don't you like Kurt? The truth; not just because he's with Blaine."

"The truth?" Sebastian asked slowly, "The truth is… complicated."

"Try me," Dave insisted.

"He… he argues with me," Sebastian said in a strange voice, like he'd never really thought about the reason at all himself. "He doesn't let me have the last word. I can't push him around."

"You don't like him because you can't bully him?" Dave asked dubiously.

"Not bully," Sebastian corrected, "I can't predict him, or control him. I don't… I don't have the power."

"Is it that important to you to be in control?" Dave asked in amazement.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't… I can't… It doesn't matter," Sebastian's voice was breaking, and Dave heard him on the precipice of breaking into tears. Something was wrong.

"Tell me? You can trust me, Feisty," Dave used the nickname to try to cheer him up.

"There's nothing to tell." Sebastian clammed up. "I just like being in control, okay?"

"I don't think that's the reason," Dave pressed, "Did something happen?"

"Stop it!" Sebastian almost-shouted. "I don't want to talk about it!"

Dave froze. He could hear Sebastian's hyperventilated breathing and murmured calming words.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it unless you want to, okay?"

"I don't want to."

"That's okay. If you ever do though…"

"I won't," Sebastian said firmly, "I never ever want to talk about it."

Dave hated that he'd done this; pushed Sebastian so close to the edge of a breakdown without even knowing he was pressing buttons.

"Want that phone sex raincheck?" Dave offered finally and made some unconvincing 'ooh's' and 'ahh's'.

Sebastian laughed at that.

"God, let's hope you're better at the real deal than the noises!" he snorted, "Didn't my video teach you anything?"

Dave copied Sebastian's moans and exaggerated them.

"I do _not_ sound like that," Sebastian denied.

"I know a way I can prove it!" Dave laughed.

"Is this you hitting me up for sex?" Sebastian asked; his voice steady again now that he was in safe conversation territory.

"I meant I could just play you the video. Wow, look at you go!" Dave exclaimed as he pretended to watch the video again.

"Stop that!" Sebastian laughed, "I can't tell if you're joking or not!"

"I'll see you tomorrow,_ Pornstar_," Dave grinned.

"See you tomorrow, _Pervert!"_

Dave hung up the call and got ready for bed. He realised he was smiling while he was in the shower, smiling while he brushed his teeth, and smiling while he lay in bed waiting for sleep. He was happy about school, being out, Sebastian…

Dave picked up his phone from the nightstand.

_**Kurt? I might have to un-promise something…**_

**Oh-oh! :P Broken promises, a first day at Dalton… expectation is high for the next chapter! :P**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bit shorter this one! But it needed to be broken up here and hopefully you'll see why at the end.**

**LOVE YOU AND ALL YOUR REVIEWS FULL OF KIND WORDS AND MOTIVATION!**

"Hi! I'm Trent!" a large excited boy beamed as Dave glanced nervously around at the busy hallway and loosened his tie for the fifty-seventh time.

Dave reigned in the little piece of instinct that told him to push this kid into a wall and call him a faggot. He was a faggot himself, he reminded himself, and he didn't bully anymore.

Dave smiled nervously instead and stuck out his hand firmly.

"Dave," he said and felt absurdly happy when the other boy shook his hand without a flinch.

"I know," Trent laughed, "We were taking bets on what you'd be like. I don't think anyone actually expected _you_ though…"

Dave felt himself flare up.

"Why are you all so interested in me?" he demanded, "I came here to get away from this crap!" Dave started to walk away but Trent ran the few steps in front of him and put his hands up in surrender, a horrified expression on his round face.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Trent hurried to correct his mistake, "Gosh, I'm so sorry! Sebastian warned me you'd had a bad time, I didn't mean to upset you! I only meant we'd been hearing about you for months from Sebastian and we were taking bets on what kind of guy would finally be the one to really make him settle down… you know?"

Dave scrunched up his nose in confusion, "Firstly, Sebastian and I are just friends, and secondly, he hasn't been talking about me for months. It can only have been about three or four weeks, tops."

Trent laughed, "Oh this is going to be so much fun!" he exclaimed, "We haven't had a really dragged out, melodramatic, we're-just-friends-routine in so long! Well… since our old lead Warbler finally made a move on his best friend last year. They've both transferred now, but it was painful watching them. And now we get it again!" Trent's smile could have ended wars.

"Was that Kurt and Blaine?" Dave asked, pretty sure there couldn't have been another gay couple who transferred together in the area.

"Oh, you know them too?" Trent squealed, "Blaine was pretty much a god around here."

"Yeah, the sun shines out of that kid's butt, apparently," Dave muttered. "And Kurt would definitely know…"

Trent laughed.

"Will you join the Warblers?" Trent enquired nosily.

"I'm thinking about it. Didn't you guys just lose the competition though?" Dave didn't understand how that worked at all.

"How many times do I have to tell you? We perform for actual events unlike that ragamuffin group at McKinley," Sebastian was speaking in his ear and the grin on Trent's face made Dave wonder how long he'd been standing there. "You look nice from behind," he appreciated with a drawl to his tone that had the potential to sound sleazy but somehow didn't. "Now spin around and show me the front."

"Seb, you saw me in my uniform yesterday," Dave groaned. Sebastian's eyes flashed to Trent, whose expression indicated he had just found gold.

"_Seb_?" Trent choked, "You call him _Seb_?"

"Special circumstances, _Doughnut_," Sebastian sneered and Trent's face fell, "Dave can call me whatever he likes because he sucks _dick_ better than any guy in this school. If you want to call me Seb, you have to earn the right. Suck me?" Sebastian's hand actually moved to his belt, but Dave caught it and held it.

"What's the matter with you?" he laughed, "He's joking, Trent. And I've never sucked his dick."

Trent's eyes widened even further at that. Obviously it was not the norm for Sebastian to have an openly gay male friend, and moreover, one who had _not_ performed sexual favours on him and boasted about it.

Sebastian waited till Dave turned away to mime a blowjob with his free hand and point at Dave. Trent looked nervous again and Sebastian felt appeased.

Trent squeaked a goodbye and ran off and Sebastian smiled at Dave.

"You really like alienating people don't you?" Dave shook his head, "I thought those guys were your friends?"

"I thought you understood that I don't have friends." Sebastian shot back.

"That's your own fault, you know," Dave told him softly and ran a thumb over his hand. Their hands were still joined awkwardly near Sebastian's fly and for some reason neither had felt the desire to let go.

"What's your first class?" Sebastian tore his gaze away from their joined hands but left his where it was.

"Calculus," Dave smiled, and Sebastian could have sworn that there was something extra in the little grin he gave; something knowing. A secret.

"You made them put you in all my classes, didn't you?" Sebastian accused.

"Not all of them, just the ones that we both take… Not my fault that we happen to have a huge overlap of interests!"

"Do I ever actually get away from you?" Sebastian gave a fake sigh, but squeezed Dave's hand so he'd know that he was really happy.

"I think I have Psychology when you have Government. Other than that, we are like peas and carrots!" Dave put on a Forrest Gump voice with a grin.

Sebastian stared.

Dave suddenly dropped his hand in horror and closed his eyes as if it hurt to look at him. "Tell me you've seen Forrest Gump, Sebastian?"

"Tom Hanks doesn't do it for me," Sebastian shrugged, stretching his hand as it felt strangely tingly with it's freedom.

"Oh, fuck," Dave laughed, "That's it! I'm staying late this afternoon so I can make you watch it!"

"It's a date," Sebastian winked, "And you'll get the whole Sebastian Smythe Dating Experience."

"Minus the sex," Dave replied calmly, too used to Sebastian now to blink an eye, "But I think you might end up using the same amount of tissues…"

Sebastian gaped at him.

"You made a dirty joke!"

"I've made dirty jokes before," Dave laughed, "Come on, we need to get to class. Sit next to me?"

"That's pretty much a given seeing as how the only empty seat in the class is next to me."

"What a surprise!" Dave grinned.

"Watch it or I'll turn on the seduction tonight," Sebastian teased back, surprising himself all the time with how easy it was to laugh and play with Dave when he wasn't screwing up or just screwing.

"I dare you," Dave said snidely.

Sebastian's eyes narrowed.

"Challenge accepted!" he quoted.

It was Dave's turn to look baffled.

"I'll lend you the dvd's," Sebastian sighed, "You can't be a gay man and not have a crazy crush on Neil Patrick Harries playing the straight playboy."

They walked through the door of the classroom. Dave noticed a lot of people watching them as they found their seats. He thought they were looking at him at first, and some were. But most of the guys had their eyes fixed on Sebastian as he laughed and talked animatedly with a smile. They all wore a similar expression of surprise and awe as they watched him.

Dave realised that it might easily be the first time they had ever seen Sebastian smiling.

* * *

><p>Sebastian's smile remained in place most of the day. He found that he genuinely enjoyed having Dave to whisper snide asides to in class and to playfully flirt with on their way to the next class.<p>

It wasn't until lunch that he realised.

"He said he hasn't fucked him!"

"I heard them talking about watching a movie in "_Seb's"_ room tonight."

"I saw them holding hands this morning! It was adorable!"

"Twenty bucks says they're in love by the end of the month."

"Twenty bucks says end of the week!"

"Twenty bucks says Sebastian sleeps with him then throws him away. He's just another conquest. He's probably trying to add another notch to his Virginities Taken count."

Sebastian gasped at that, he couldn't help himself. The table of Warblers spun to look at him guiltily, curiously, accusingly, but none of them fearfully or respectfully. He kept walking.

He couldn't believe he let it go so easily. That was no way to keep them afraid!

He heard someone whisper as he walked away to Dave to sit down.

"Fifty bucks says the bear takes Sebastian up the ass."

"He doesn't bottom."

"_Fifty. Bucks_."

Dave smiled at Sebastian as he reached the table.

At least they weren't gossiping about Dave, Sebastian decided and smiled back down at him.

He shouldn't have done it, but he couldn't help himself. He leant down and pressed a kiss to Dave's cheek, accidentally slipping a little and catching the corner of his lips by the merest of margins.

Dave stared at him as he waltzed around the table to sit opposite him. Sebastian shot a sickly smile at the table of Warblers. They realised he had heard them and looked suitably terrified.

_Good._

**Movie night! Will they need those tissues? Won't they? Stay tuned for another exciting update! :P**


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh dear… **

**(Also, AHHHH DARREN IS HALF NAKED EVERYWHERE AND IT'S SO HARD TO CONCENTRATE AND WRITE THIS WHILE I KNOW I COULD BE LOOKING AT HIM!)**

**Enjoy.**

Dave stowed his belongings in his locker and left the room, meeting Sebastian at the foot of the spiral staircase. He had a form to fill out for his football application and that kid Trent had handed him a bunch of stuff about the Warblers in between classes. Add that to the pile of homework and catch-up work Dave had to do, and he wasn't sure if a movie night with Sebastian was such a great idea.

But he was going to go anyway.

Dave couldn't help from feeling happy when he saw Sebastian walking towards him. The light in the hallway was catching his hair, making it shinier and a little bit more golden, and his jacket was unbuttoned. Dave knew that the last thing he should be doing was perving on Sebastian, but he was beginning to find that it was almost impossible. When he smiled at Dave the way he did now, and ran his hand through his hair almost nervously Dave couldn't drag his eyes away from him.

They were _friends_, he reminded himself sternly. He didn't want to be Sebastian's fuck buddy.

"Ready?" Sebastian grinned, a little out of breath as he had trotted the last half of the hallway to reach Dave. They'd had their one class apart last in the afternoon, and after an entire day of each other's company, Sebastian had been genuinely surprised to notice how much he missed Dave for that one hour.

"Are _you_ ready?" Dave countered, "I'm about to rock your world."

Sebastian couldn't breathe momentarily. _He was safe with Dave_; he told himself that as a mantra every time their hands brushed or he was a little too close for Sebastian's comfort. _You're safe. You're safe, you're safe_, he told himself, _and Dave would never hurt you_.

Dave seemed to notice what he had said and continued awkwardly.

"I mean… with Forrest Gump…" he added lamely.

Sebastian merely nodded and headed off up the stairs. They walked in silence and the air between them felt sort of thick and murky. _Was it awkward?_ A little. _Was it nervousness?_ Sure. _Was it attraction?_ And Sebastian finally let himself admit it. _Yes it was._ He was somehow sickly attracted to Dave even though he reminded him too much of how it felt to be powerless and afraid. He was all the things that Sebastian generally avoided: Strong, tall, argumentative… kind, generous, caring, _hurt_.

Sebastian snuck a peek at Dave out of the corner of his eye as he walked, only to catch Dave looking at him too. He smiled and looked away.

Normally he would have made some comment about Dave checking him out. But it didn't even occur to him.

But nervousness makes asses of us all, so when Dave joined him on his bed, the movie starting and a feather flying around with some cheesy music, Sebastian leaned over and kissed him.

Not just any kiss.

Sebastian wondered if he'd ever actually kissed anyone before because as soon as his lips touched Dave's it was like they began to tingle with the magic of the moment. He felt dizzy and stunned. Dave didn't kiss him back.

He just pushed Sebastian away gently and cupped a hand around his cheek. He looked at him and Sebastian felt ashamed, even though it may have been the first kiss in history that he had ever delivered with just the idea of _kissing_ and no more.

"Let's just watch the movie, okay?" Dave said gently and wriggled down onto the bed, pulling Sebastian down with him. He turned him over gently so he was facing the screen and pulled his back so it was flush with his chest. He draped a strong arm over Sebastian's waist.

They were spooning.

Sebastian was finding it hard to breathe. Dave's hips were flush with his backside and he squirmed a little to put some distance between them.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dave grumbled unhappily, "I was comfortable."

Sebastian had no choice but to move back.

He didn't watch the movie. He didn't remember any of it. He focused instead on how amazing it felt to be held, and how warm he was. Then when he started to panic, he thought about how strong Dave's chest felt against his back, and how heavy his arm felt, resting on his hip. He thought about how close Dave's cock was to his ass and how much it would hurt ripping him apart.

He was crying for several long minutes before he even noticed that he was.

Dave reached over him to pause the movie and Sebastian curled himself up at the sudden movement.

"Hey," Dave said softly, "Hey, it's okay."

He wrapped his arms around him gently and Sebastian began to sob.

"Can- can you let go of me please?" he begged, his voice wavering as he tried to keep control.

Dave let go immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked carefully. Sebastian wondered vaguely if he could pull off an excuse about the movie being sad, but he hadn't been watching it enough to know whether they were at a sad part yet.

Sebastian thought it was strange how he didn't feel free. Dave had let him go but he didn't want to scramble away. He wanted to be with him.

"Can… Can I try something? Please?" Sebastian pleaded, sitting up. Dave nodded.

Sebastian crawled over Dave and motioned for him to face the screen. He fit himself in behind him and hooked a leg over his knees and draped his arm over Dave's feeling his muscles absentmindedly.

"You need to be the big spoon?" Dave asked slowly, turning his head to look at Sebastian, who didn't speak, just nodded furiously.

"Okay," Dave agreed.

Sebastian suddenly relaxed at the words. He nuzzled his face into the nape of Dave's neck, breathing him in shakily. Dave moved his arm to pull Sebastian's arm across his chest and held his hand.

Sebastian sobbed again.

"I just need to be in control," he managed to choke out, "I'll be fine now."

Dave shook his head and Sebastian could see the edges of worry lines on his forehead.

"You're not fine," he said sadly, "I think you're more not-fine than I am."

"It's nothing."

"Can you tell me? You might feel better."

Sebastian felt frustrated. He asked so many questions. So he pulled Dave's shoulder till he turned to face him.

"I'm attracted to you," he said firmly.

Dave's eyes widened but he cracked a smile.

"So, what's the problem?" he laughed.

"You make me remember," Sebastian said, dully.

Dave's breath hitched and he moved his fingers to stroke Sebastian's cheek again.

"Remember what?" he whispered.

"That night," Sebastian's voice was hollow and croaking, "The guys."

Dave flinched and took his hand away.

"You don't have to tell me," he said softly, in a tone that indicated just how much he wanted to know.

"Three guys… um… I was fourteen. I was drunk and I didn't say no at first…"

"Oh my god…" Dave breathed. "Are you okay?"

Sebastian laughed at that. Such an innocent question.

"Obviously not!"

Dave breathed shakily.

"I don't know what to say to make it better," he admitted finally.

"You've done enough," Sebastian reassured him, and wiped his eyes. His breathing shallowed back to normal and he just felt calm. He looked into Dave's eyes and smiled. Dave gave him a sad little smile in return and moved to take his hand with an uncertain movement.

They held hands and looked at each other for a long time. It wasn't a romantic moment or a lust-filled one. It was them sharing and healing, and when their foreheads pressed together, or their hands hugged the other's waist, or when Dave lay kisses to Sebastian's lips, neither of them thought anything of it. It was merely comfort.

* * *

><p>When Dave left Sebastian he had fallen asleep with his hand entwined in Dave's and his face buried in Dave's neck, his breath hot against his skin. His body gave little shudders every so often as he slept, trying to normalise his breathing.<p>

"Nobody is ever going to hurt you again," Dave promised him as he slipped his hand away gently and kissed Sebastian quickly once more. "You're safe now."

Sebastian's fingers stretched out in his sleep, searching for Dave's and he whimpered.

Dave left him a note that said:

_Had to go home. I hated leaving you._

_See you tomorrow._

_Dave_

He didn't know what was going on with him and Sebastian, but he didn't feel right signing his name in such a bare way. It seemed to be obviously lacking in sentiment, but he didn't know what the sentiment was that he should provide.

* * *

><p>He did the only thing he could think of when he got home and finished dinner and homework and was still awake at 3AM.<p>

_**You awake yet?**_

**Just. Thanks for… that.**

_**You don't have to thank me. I hated seeing you upset.**_

**Why?**

_**Because you're my friend and I care about you?**_

**Really?**

_**Of course I care about you!**_

**I meant 'friends'? Really? It was more dubious than it sounds over text. Fuck this, I'm ringing you.**

Dave answered his call immediately.

"How do you feel?"

"Better. I just needed to sleep it off. Never watching Forrest Gump again." Sebastian joked lamely.

"So why don't you want to be friends then?" Dave asked sadly.

"I never said that," Sebastian muttered, "It's just… we aren't friends…"

"Arent we?" Dave exclaimed in ridiculous amazement, "Well sorry! I thought we were!"

"No! I mean we are! But we're not _just_ friends… Are we?" Sebastian's voice was timid and unsure.

"Are you asking me out?" Dave laughed at his own joke.

"Yes."

"What?" Dave rubbed his eyes blearily, he was awake, right?

"I don't even know why… This wasn't what I rang to do!" Sebastian panicked and Dave shushed him gently.

"Hey," Dave smiled, "I really like being your friend."

"Oh."

"I just wonder if us getting involved is a good idea. I'm a mess, you're a mess, and neither of us have ever had a boyfriend. Right?" Dave's voice was anxious, "I just don't want to lose you."

"You'd be _getting_ me!" Sebastian snapped. "Tell me right now that you don't want me and I'll leave it alone.

"I… I can't do that," Dave sighed, "But it's not a good idea."

"Fine, _friends_," Sebastian muttered, "But I _will_ change your mind, got it?"

"I look forward to your efforts with the utmost terror and trepidation."

"God, where did you learn those words?" Sebastian groaned.

Dave laughed, "Why?"

"It's hot," he grinned, and just like that Sex Shark Sebastian was back in the waters.

"Goodnight, Sebastian," Dave smiled.

He hung up and opened Google.

_Thesaurus_, he typed. He had a lot of vocabulary training to do.

**I wish my movie nights had as much cuddling as this… My cat doesn't like to be held :(**


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm trying to stagger the chapters for a little bit while I try to write in advance. I've never had the patience to do that before, and it's kind of killing me already with wanting to just let you read, but I will resist! I hope you like this one… I'm kind of worried…**

**Oh… and don't die… Lots of you tell me I'm killing you and I really don't want that…**

They were at Scandals. The music was loud and Dave noticed Sebastian at the jukebox. He walked over with a smile. Sebastian didn't cut him down this time. Instead he spun him and pressed him against the jukebox with a grin.

"Dance with me," he ordered and Dave noticed his voice was sweeter and kinder than it was naturally. His arms wrapped around him and Dave let Sebastian move against him until Dave couldn't stand it any longer. Sebastian was drunk and grinding against him and Dave could feel him beginning to creep his hands into Dave's back pockets. He grabbed Sebastian's face and glared at him.

"Want me yet?" Sebastian slurred and pressed his hips against Dave's. "Kiss me, Liberace."

Dave had no way to argue. He raised his chin hungrily, yanking Sebastian's hair. Their lips were about to meet when his alarm woke him up with a jolt.

Dave groaned loudly. All the sleep he had managed had been punctuated by dreams of Sebastian. In some he was crying out and sobbing as men forced him to lie on a bed, stripping him and laughing. In others he was staring into Dave's eyes and telling him earnestly how sorry he was and how he didn't want to be that guy anymore. In one that terrified and thrilled Dave simultaneously he handed Dave a rose and said, "Love you," so casually it seemed old hat. The last one: Dave about to kiss a drunken, horny Sebastian at Scandals, left him hard and groaning.

Dave headed to the shower and tried _not_ to think of Sebastian until it became reverse psychology and _all_ he could think about was Sebastian and he was painfully aroused. He took matters into his own hands, feeling disgusting as he pictured the clip of Sebastian fucking that guy, and the memory of the way his cock had looked spurting come over that guy's neck in the backroom, and the way his body had slotted into Dave's so easily last night and how hard it had been to pull away when he'd kissed him. Dave's strokes became firmer until he was coming with a gasp all over the shower tiles, his orgasm depleting quickly, leaving him with the reality of standing in a lukewarm shower while his semen dribbled down the wall.

He felt awful. Sebastian had revealed that he had been assaulted and now he was having thoughts about him? What was wrong with him? Dave splashed water at the walls until they were clean and stepped out of the shower. He got dressed and grabbed a piece of toast from his dad, hugging him goodbye and promising to be home earlier tonight. He drove to school pushing any and all sexual feelings for Sebastian out of his head. They needed each other as friends. Dave needed to learn to be open and friendly and happy, and Sebastian could definitely help with aspects of that. And Sebastian needed to learn to trust guys and not just use them for sex. Dave wondered what his odds were of helping Sebastian with his problem without falling into bed with him.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was ready to be perfect. He'd decided he was up for the challenge. He had even summoned up the guts to confide in Blaine. He knew that meant it would get back to Kurt and eventually Dave, but he had little choice, and hopefully Dave would see it as adorable rather than anxiety.<p>

"Hello, Sebastian," Blaine answered the phone cautiously, in that way that assured Sebastian that Kurt was in the vicinity.

"I need your help," Sebastian got straight to the point, "I want Dave Karofsky."

Blaine was silent, like he was mouthing something to Kurt.

"When you say you _want_ him…" Blaine queried.

"I want him to go out with me."

"What?" Blaine sounded shocked. "You don't do boyfriends…"

"Well, I want to give it a go," Sebastian was frustrated.

Blaine was silent again.

"Leave him alone, Sebastian," he said quietly, "I'll admit that the romantic in me thought you two might be a cute couple, but he's getting over suicidal thoughts and you… well you break things."

"I won't break _him_."

"Find someone else to bang on a regular basis if you want to try the whole boyfriend thing," Blaine ordered and Sebastian was suddenly aware of the power in his tone; "Leave Dave out of it."

Sebastian hung up on him.

He was sick of people treating him like he destroyed everything he touched. It wasn't his fault! He had accepted that it wasn't his fault. What had happened to him wasn't his fault and the way he was now wasn't his fault either. He'd just never met anyone like Dave who cared enough to notice and worm his way in and find out why.

And that was why Sebastian wanted him.

He was terrifyingly huge and he might be annoyed at the fact that Sebastian probably wouldn't let him top, but they were the same in so many ways, both broken and judged and hiding and Sebastian needed him.

* * *

><p>"Thank you again for last night," Sebastian said to Dave at lunch. They had sat with the Warblers today and the entire table gawked and grinned at them.<p>

"It was nothing. Anyone here would have done the same thing," Dave winked at Sebastian, realising how his words were being interpreted and playing with them.

"No one else would have let me take control like that," Sebastian smiled and a few Warblers exchanged looks. Nick whispered loudly to Thad "_Pay up_!"

"I'll let you dominate our _movie nights_ all the time if you like?" Dave winked and a few Warblers looked suddenly disappointed.

They ate lunch quietly, laughing occasionally at something someone would say, Sebastian briefly sliding his foot next to Dave's and stroking his ankle.

"Stop," Dave smiled as if he was trying to hold it in.

"_Dinner?_" Sebastian mouthed.

Dave shook his head.

"Not your boyfriend, Seb," he whispered and his voice had a tiny tinge of sadness.

Sebastian stood up abruptly.

"See you later," he said seriously and walked away.

Dave watched him go sadly but let him. He needed to make it very obvious that they were not going to date.

"So what's the deal with you guys?" a Warbler asked him. Thad?

"Um, we're friends I guess," Dave smiled politely.

The whole table scoffed as one.

"I've never seen Sebastian act like this before," Trent told Dave, "It's like you've made him realise that he's been an ass and he's trying to work hard to deserve you."

"Deserve me?" Dave asked in confusion, "He asked me out but it was only because he feels bad."

"What does he feel bad about? Like specifically?" Trent asked and the rest of the Warblers seemed to lose interest a little and left them to their conversation.

"I guess he was sort of mean to me and I… it's complicated," Dave couldn't bring himself to tell this near-stranger that he had tried to take his own life.

"I heard about what happened at your old school you know?" Trent said gently, "We all know. Sebastian made us dedicate our Regionals performance to you and raise money in your name for charity."

Dave paled.

"_He what?_" he whispered in shock.

"I thought you would have known," Trent looked worried. "You're not mad are you?"

Dave laughed.

"I am so far from mad, Trent…"

Dave stood up in wonder, barely knowing what he was doing. He only knew one thing. He had to find Sebastian. He had to find him and he had to kiss him fucking senseless.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was hurling books and papers around his room. He was furious. Any way that he could get rid of this anger before he had to see Dave again would help, so he threw things, kicked his bed, screamed into pillows and punched his mattress.<p>

It was only when he stood up and noticed Dave standing in his doorway that he realised that he hadn't shut his door.

"Are… are you okay?" Dave asked uncertainly.

"I'm angry," Sebastian breathed and the words were gone before he could stop them.

"Why?"

"Because everyone knows I don't deserve to be happy and treats me like I fuck everything up! Everyone's just waiting for me to break your heart and it sucks! What if you break mine? What then?"

Dave's breath caught in his throat. Sebastian looked debauched and sweaty and his face was red from punching and swearing.

"I don't believe any of that," Dave said and stepped into the room quietly. He sidestepped a pillow and a few textbooks.

"Then why won't you let me try? I want to try this with you. I've never wanted this before. Not with anyone. Why won't you just go out with me?"

Dave stepped closer to Sebastian and only stopped when he was less than a foot in front of him.

"I will," Dave told him quietly, his eyes fierce and full of some kind of desire that began to scare Sebastian.

"Oh," he managed and his breathing became shaky at how close Dave was. There was an awkward silence.

"I'm waiting for you to kiss me," Dave smiled gently, "I'll never put my hands on you unless you tell me it's okay, Seb."

Sebastian felt the tears start to form then.

"Fuck, I never cry this much!" he laughed and moved nervously to wrap an arm around Dave's waist.

"You're in control," Dave told him. Sebastian stared at him in wonder. It was as if he read his mind.

"I'm in control," he repeated like a mantra. It felt weird to speak that thought out loud.

He looked into Dave's eyes and saw nothing but patient expectation hiding behind a kind smile, so he leaned in and pressed their lips together again. He didn't expect Dave's little whine of happiness or surprise, but it was a vulnerable sound and it made him relax. He played with Dave's bottom lip a little, then pulled away before the kiss became deeper and more dangerous.

"Why did you say yes?" Sebastian ran a hand through his hair nervously again. Dave had noticed that it was a quirk of his when he was trying to seem uncaring and glib.

"Trent told me about your Regionals dedication," Dave admitted, "And I just realised that I didn't want to wait to see if we would work. So I decided to take a chance. One dinner, Sebastian. And not tonight, I promised my dad I'd be home earlier tonight."

"One?" Sebastian asked strangely.

"If you play your cards right you might get a second one," Dave grinned.

Sebastian pulled away from him.

"No."

"What's wrong?" Dave looked worried.

"I need you to leave now. We're not dating until you understand that you want to _be with me_, you don't just want to give me a chance not to screw up" Sebastian spoke calmly even though he felt like screaming and swearing again.

"I don't understand, I thought this was what you wanted," Dave had no idea what was happening.

"I wanted you to realise that I've been trying to change and that I'm not that guy that fucks everything up and hurts people anymore. Once you realise that and you realise that you want to be with me for more than just 'giving it a go', then we will go on a date. And we won't break up."

"Are you serious?" Dave widened his eyes, "You're going from umpteen different sexual partners to me and telling me you want forever? This won't fix what they did to you; it won't make it better. Being with me shouldn't be about proving anything; it should be because you want it."

"I want it."

"I want it too."

**Verdict? I both love and hate it, but it's what the boys wanted. I'm really just a well-educated scribe…**


	10. Chapter 10

**I have no impulse control. None. I was planning on holding onto this for another day or so… But I want to know what you think… :P**

**So here… Have some cliff-hanger relief :D**

Nothing was resolved, yet everything was awkward. Dave knew he had to be absurdly careful about his physicality around Sebastian, but Sebastian seemed to be affording him no such generosity. In fact, he seemed to have shrunk every pair of his pants on purpose and was constantly strutting around in them.

Dave tried out for the football team and got quarterback barely trying. The coach had practically screamed with excitement when he'd seen him and once Dave saw the rest of the team he knew why. He was by far the biggest guy on the team and he was definitely the burliest. Sebastian was waiting for him after tryouts. In the locker room.

Most of the team had dispersed, but Sebastian didn't seem to care about the ones that were left. Dave shot the players panicked looks as Sebastian sauntered towards him in tight jeans, but unlike the reaction that would have garnered at other locker rooms, Dalton guys just patted him on the shoulder or else shot Sebastian lustful looks.

"How'd you go?" Sebastian purred. He looked hotter somehow, like he'd done something to his hair.

"Got it," Dave told him curtly as a guy walked past them.

"Guess I've got a promise to fulfil then," Sebastian laughed and Dave looked confused, "Water boy, remember?"

"You can't be serious," Dave said in amazement.

"I take hydration very seriously, David," Sebastian leered.

"Hi Sebastian," a small guy that Dave thought must have been the kicker called. Sebastian turned his head, then spun back around to Dave in horror.

"What?" Dave asked and craned his neck to get a good look at the guy.

It was the guy from the video. The one Sebastian had been fucking.

"How are you, Spencer?" Sebastian asked nervously, eyes darting to Dave and all joviality gone.

"I'm okay. Do you want to maybe go see a movie on Saturday?" Spencer asked, ignoring Dave entirely.

"Um," Sebastian started, unsure how to let him down easily.

"That sounds fun!" Dave piped up, "Didn't you say you wanted to see that one with Harry Potter in it?"

"Daniel Radcliffe, David," Sebastian corrected with a frown, "And I'm sure Spencer doesn't want to see that."

"It's meant to be scary, right?" Spencer chimed in, "I'm in if I get to cuddle up to you in the scary bits!" He had a huge grin on his face.

Sebastian saw no way out and glared at Dave who looked amused.

"Sure," he snapped and directed his words at Dave, "I'm sure I can find _some_ way to comfort you."

Spencer practically skipped out with a "See you Saturday, Sebastian!"

Sebastian glared at Dave.

"What the fuck was that?" he demanded, "You know what's going on and you said you wanted it!"

"Actually I have no idea what's going on," Dave said, serious now. "I know you have this strange idea of us actually being _together_ without dating, and it occurred to me that you've never actually been on a date."

"I have so! More than you, Drew Carey!"

"I have no idea who that is, but I'll take the insult," Dave said calmly, "You've never been on a date that didn't end in sex, have you?"

"Yes!" Sebastian protested.

"When?"

"Preston Singh. He got food poisoning half-way through the date," Sebastian admitted.

"Exactly."

"I guess I technically still got sex. He rode me while I held the bucket."

"Oh my god, that's disgusting," Dave retched.

"I'm joking you moron," Sebastian threw up his hands and rolled his eyes.

"So you've got a date," Dave told him pointedly. "And may I remind you that a normal date doesn't end in sex."

"Shame," Sebastian growled angrily, "I could really go some hate sex right about now."

"If you can last out three dates without sleeping with him I'll take you seriously that you really want a relationship."

"Three dates not fucking Spencer?" Sebastian screeched, "Do you have any idea how hard that is? The guy practically says hello with your cock in his mouth!"

"Well, that's the test, isn't it?" Dave insisted.

"Fine, well you need to go on dates too," Sebastian instructed.

Dave scoffed.

"No one is going to ask me out, Seb," he laughed.

"No, they will," Sebastian said darkly, "And instead of _not_ fucking them, you have to try it."

Dave looked at him, aghast.

"What?" he demanded.

"You have to get to at least third base."

"What possible purpose does that serve?" Dave looked exasperated.

"Well, when I win after my three dates and we get together, we won't be breaking up. So I don't want you to be bitter about all the extra sex I had without you in twenty years."

"You're serious?"

"There's something here, Dave. Something big. I don't know for sure that we'll end up together, but I think that if I had the chance to be with you it might kill me to ever leave. So yeah, I'm serious." Sebastian spoke with his hands and looked so earnest and passionate that Dave couldn't help himself.

"Kissing you," he warned, but raised his eyebrows waiting for permission. After Kurt he would never steal a kiss again. Sebastian nodded infinitesimally and opened his mouth a little as Dave's open mouth came crushing into his. Their tongues met for the first time ever and Dave groaned loudly. Sebastian's hands found his ears and his fingers landed on either side of them, pulling him close and kissing him hard. Dave let him take control of it. He tasted like coffee and mint somehow and Dave rested his hands on Sebastian's hips as he kissed him.

After too short a time, Sebastian broke apart from him and Dave stared at him, panting.

"_More_," Sebastian requested as if he were starving and Dave didn't even make the decision, but he was kissing Sebastian again like it might be the last chance he got. It might very well be the last chance they did have. He thought the three-date premise sounded almost silly while he was kissing Sebastian, even though he had been so sure about his reasoning when his tongue hadn't been dancing with Sebastian's. Dave had kissed girls, who were generally reluctant, giggly things, and Kurt who had been frozen in shock and horror. But Sebastian was different. With Sebastian it was enjoyable; fun and exciting, and he could feel it stirring feelings in his abdomen that were speaking to his cock.

"You're amazing," Dave breathed against Sebastian's lips.

"Tell me about it," Sebastian grinned.

"I don't want to do this," Dave murmured as Sebastian peeled his lips away.

"What?"

"Stop kissing you," Dave mumbled and Sebastian laughed.

"I guarantee you that I don't want to stop kissing you either," Sebastian nodded, a little dizzy from the lack of oxygen and the nearness of Dave. He trusted him so completely, but he was still experiencing those tiny thrills of panic, even as they kissed. It was better to stop even if a huge part of him didn't want to.

"How come you don't get weird about being close to other guys?" Dave asked curiously and too abruptly for it to be a random thought. It was something he had wanted to ask for a while.

"You mean, _screwing_ random guys?" Sebastian said in a self-derogating tone. "Because I'm in charge. I'm the one _fucking_ and they do what they're told." Dave looked dubious, "And because they're _small_ and not as strong as me, okay? The guys who… they were your build exactly. And I haven't ever wanted anything with someone like you because of that. Until now."

"Do I scare you?" Dave asked softly, sadly and wrapped his arms around himself.

"Sometimes," Sebastian admitted, "But I know you'd never hurt me."

"Never, baby," Dave smiled and gave a wink like he was being cute.

Sebastian flinched.

"Not that," he bit out, "Not baby. Please."

"Okay, okay, sorry. You're okay, you're safe." Dave's voice was soothing and calm and so apologetic that Sebastian laughed.

"It's not that bad," he smiled, "Just stay away from it in future."

"Okay, done," Dave smiled, "Anything else?"

"Just don't grab me or get rough unless I ask you to. And I don't…" Sebastian shot him a guilty look, "I don't know about bottoming."

"Oh!" Dave looked embarrassed, "Hey, we don't need to worry about that! We aren't even together, remember?"

"We're really bad at this 'just friends' thing," Sebastian smirked, "I can still taste you."

"Stop," Dave warned with a smile.

"You still want to do this dating other guys thing?" Sebastian asked, looking hopeful the answer might be 'no'.

"I think we should at least try," Dave didn't sound confident.

"Kiss for good luck?" Sebastian puckered up his lips and closed his eyes. He made obscene kissing noises with his lips.

Dave kissed him, briefly and softly.

"Friends," he said decidedly.

"Can friends have phone sex?" Sebastian asked with a grin.

"No."

Dave gathered his things and left the locker room, Sebastian practically bouncing alongside.

"Sexts?"

"No."

"Skype sex?"

"Sure!"

"_Really?_"

"No, Sebastian. Not really."

… **I'm holding my breath… Do you hate me? :(**


	11. Chapter 11

**I keep getting reviews and I keep having to keep writing! How dare you tell me how much you like this story and make me feel so compelled to keep churning out chapters!**

**Seriously though, thank you so much to everyone who reviews :D You're all so lovely and its still boggling my mind to realise that we now have 326 reviews… Seriously… I can't even… I just… cannot even… **

**I love you :D**

"I need a date," Dave mumbled for the third time.

"I have no idea what you're saying, Dave. Speak up!" Kurt ordered and sipped his coffee.

"I need a _date_, Kurt! Are you _deaf_? Jesus!"

Kurt and Blaine stared at him. Blaine looked concerned.

"Why do you need a date, Dave?" Blaine asked carefully and Dave noticed him sort of wince as if Dave would get angry and punch him.

Dave felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Kurt may have forgiven him, but Blaine still didn't trust that he had changed. And there was nothing he could say that would repair the damage. Dave vowed to be especially nice to Blaine for a while. He realised that he really didn't know much about him. Maybe he had been through something like Sebastian or Kurt (at his hands) or Dave himself… God was there any un-traumatised teen gays?

"Because I need to get to third base apparently."

Kurt choked on some biscotti and Blaine stared at him, dumbfounded for a few seconds before he realised Kurt was choking and began to pat him on the back. He handed Kurt a napkin. Kurt snatched it and wiped his mouth before hissing at Dave.

"_What_?"

"Sebastian wants to go out with me," Dave explained and Kurt groaned. Blaine looked suspicious.

"I warned you about him, Dave!" Kurt moaned and shook his head.

"And I told Sebastian to back off," Blaine mused disgruntledly, "I'll talk to him for you."

"No, you've got it wrong!" Dave insisted, "He's not like you think! I don't think you guys really know him!"

"What is there to know?" Kurt sneered and for the first time since he'd admitted to himself that he was really gay, Dave felt a bubble of dislike for Kurt form inside of him.

"He's been hurt too you know," Dave informed him with a frown, "And did either of you ever think to wonder why he acts like he does? Why he pushes everyone away and hides behind innuendos and insults? As someone who knows what it's like to have to hide who you are, I'd think you'd have a bit of compassion!"

"_Compassion_?" Kurt's eyes narrowed and his voice deepened the way Dave used to love. It didn't affect him anymore… Huh. "He nearly _blinded_ Blaine, Dave! I get that he finally gets that what he says can hurt people and he feels guilty for what he said to you, but that doesn't make him a nice person, Dave."

"Well then, you should be happy that I want you to find me a date!" Dave burst out angrily and took a huge swig of his coffee, swearing as it burnt his tongue.

"I don't understand how this relates to Se…" Kurt began but Dave interrupted.

"Can you find me some guy or not? I don't care who he is! I'm only dating him three times!"

"I'm thoroughly confused," Kurt looked baffled.

"Well I'm not explaining," Dave sniffed, "You won't give him a chance so why would I tell you anything?"

And with that, Dave got up and began to walk out.

Blaine followed him out the door.

"Dave!" he called.

Dave turned and just looked at him expectantly, holding out his hands.

"Here's the number of this kid who just transferred to McKinley. He's a junior too so he's in my classes. Nice kid. I'll tell him to expect your call, okay?" Blaine had a pen and was writing on Dave's arm, peeking at the screen of his iphone to make sure the number was right. Underneath the number he wrote the name Chandler.

"Like Bing?" Dave asked stupidly.

"I think it's Masterton actually," Blaine smiled kindly. "Just… just promise me you aren't just trying to dredge up guys for a threesome with Sebastian?"

Dave scoffed incredulously.

"You know, he really thinks you're his friend. Nice to know you think that little of him. He's insisting I try dating someone else before we're allowed to be together."

"You really like him?" Blaine asked softly and Dave realised that he was studying him.

"Yeah, he's great," Dave was unable to keep the smile from his face.

"Then go for it," Blaine said passionately, "Forget whatever I told you, and whatever Kurt says and anything you might hear at Dalton. If you trust him and he's special to you then don't let him get away. Just… Just be careful, okay? Don't let him hurt you. He might not even mean to… just don't let him take control of your life."

"He has all the control," Dave muttered, "But thank you."

Blaine smiled.

"If he hurts you, I'll get the Warblers to sing out of tune for a week," Blaine grinned, "It'd kill him."

"Deal," Dave grinned back. He extended his hand to Blaine and smiled when Blaine shook it.

* * *

><p><strong>Are you really going to make me go on a sexless date with Spencer and not even give me a blow job to tide me over?<strong>

_**Yes. And this is the kind of cruel behaviour you can get used to if you really want to be with me.**_

**What? No blowjobs when we're together either? What hell is this?**

_**Sebastian? Are you maybe a bit nervous about the date on Saturday?**_

**Pfft. No.**

In truth, Sebastian _was_ beginning to worry. Not so much about the prospect of going on a date. But how to manoeuvre his way into the 'end of date' activities and leave out the sex. Spencer was a fucking incredible lay too. That made it harder. He didn't want to screw up. Dave trusted him not to sleep with Spencer and somehow Sebastian had to trust _himself_ not to sleep with Spencer too. Of course Spencer had been sending him sexts and nude photos again. Spencer was one of the only guys Sebastian had let himself sleep with more than once because he was so tiny and a fantastic bottom and it really sucked that Sebastian would have to find a way to date him three times without fucking him.

Sebastian found himself clinging madly to the hope that Dave wouldn't find a date before Saturday and would be so jealous at the idea of Sebastian going out with Spencer that he would call the whole thing off and give in.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hey Chandler, I don't know if Blaine told you about me, but I'm his friend Dave. This sounds so pathetic, but would you like to go to the movies with me this weekend?<strong>_

_Hi Dave :) Yeah he did, actually! I'm up for it! Saturday?_

_**Sounds perfect! I'm not looking for anything serious, but it would be good to get to know you a bit…**_

Dave had typed the last message but not sent it. It sounded sleazy.

He rang Sebastian.

"Phone sex?" Sebastian's voice was excited.

"No…" Dave attempted to continue, but Sebastian interrupted him again.

"Booty call?"

"Shut up!" Dave laughed, "I need to know how to imply to this guy that I don't want to be his boyfriend."

"Are you talking about me right now? Because this is such bad gay etiquette, I can't even begin to tell you…"

"Blaine gave me a number of a guy he knows."

"Hot?" Sebastian asked immediately. There was that reflex again.

"I haven't seen him. We're just setting up a date now. He said yes."

"Of course he did," Sebastian mused. "Well, what are you ringing me for?"

"Because I have no idea how to imply to him that I'm just looking to fool around and not sound like a sleaze."

"And you thought of me?" Sebastian cooed, "Aww, I'm touched!"

"Just tell me! He's waiting for me to reply!" Dave was beginning to panic.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, Casanova," Sebastian laughed gently, "Just tell him on the date straight up that you're interested in someone but he's dating someone else. It won't be a lie. I'll be dating Spencer too. Then when I break up with him and spend the night crying into your shoulder, he'll be happy that things worked out for you and less disappointed."

"I totally get it now," Dave said in amazed amusement.

"Get what?"

"How you get all those guys to sleep with you," Dave grinned, "You're a genius."

"Nice to be appreciated!" Sebastian laughed.

Dave began typing a reply back to Chandler.

_**Saturday is perfect actually. The guy I like just started dating this total tool and they're going to the movies on Saturday together :(**_

Dave read it out to Sebastian.

"Perfect," he approved, "Send, then tell me what you're wearing."

Dave sent the message.

"I'm not wearing anything…"

"- _Oh, my God, I think I love you_…"

"_Let me finish_! I'm not wearing anything _sexy_," Dave grinned despite himself.

Sebastian groaned loudly, "You're getting me hard, I hope you realise?"

"I didn't even say any… _Really_?" Dave couldn't help the curiosity creeping into his tone and he felt weirdly proud of making Sebastian turned on.

"Oh my god, you're so cute," Sebastian laughed, "How can you have no idea how hot you are? When you wear things that I pick out I mean…"

Dave's phone beeped.

"He messaged back!" he exclaimed and picked up his phone almost eagerly.

"Wow… you do remember that this is just a fake date, right?" Sebastian asked with an uneasy laugh.

Dave ignored him and read the message.

_Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. What movie are they seeing? Wanna turn up there and make out in front of him and make him jealous? :P_

Sebastian and Dave sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Say yes," Sebastian croaked eventually, unable to hide the painful note his voice was hitting.

"Seb, I can't…"

"Say yes!" Sebastian ordered.

"I can't do this," Dave shook his head even though Sebastian couldn't see him, "I can't do stuff with this guy. Especially not in front of you!"

"Dave, it's fine. I want you to."

"You want me to make out with some guy in front of you?" Dave asked in bewilderment.

"More than anything," Sebastian said breezily, "It won't matter to me, I promise."

Dave felt a pang of hurt go through him. Sebastian didn't care?

Dave typed back:

_**Sounds like the best plan I've ever heard!**_

And hit send before he could regret it.

"I told him okay," Dave said firmly, breaking the silence on the phone.

"Oh," Sebastian's voice seemed a little distracted, "Cool."

"See you tomorrow, Seb," Dave said cooly.

"Night, David," Sebastian said quietly.

Dave hung up and thought that this may have been the worst idea he'd ever had.

**Oh deeeear :P**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, this one is a little short, but it felt right to end it where it did. I probably won't be posting anything over the weekend so please don't kill me! **

**For those people who were interested in finding me on Tumblr I'm ImaginedInsanity on there too.**

**Sorry if there's any typos… I don't write with a beta and it's 12:30AM and I'm soooo tired… I guess I'll also apologise if the chapter sucks :P Blame lack of sleep and time! :P**

**Thank you for all your lovely reviews guys :D I truly appreciate every kind word I receive :D**

**Enjoy!**

Chandler was _nice_. Dave didn't know whether that made it worse or better, but the kid was almost too nice. He was friendly, insisted on paying dutch for the tickets at the movie (they met at the cinema because it seemed the least awkward place) and seemed genuinely interested in everything Dave had to say.

He had light sandy-coloured hair and brown eyes. He was round faced and sort of _sturdy_. He wasn't chubby, but he definitely wouldn't blow away in a breeze. He dressed so casually that Dave wondered if he was out. He'd thought he was the only one who didn't care about clothes, but apparently Chandler couldn't give a fuck what he was wearing either.

Dave hated that he liked that.

Then Chandler got to talking about football.

Dave tried not to get too excited when he said he liked the same football team.

Minutes before the movie was due to start (they were still seeing The Woman in Black. Sebastian hadn't been able to sway Spencer into seeing something lighter) and they were gathering their popcorn from the snack bar, Sebastian and Spencer burst through the door. Dave's eyes fled to Sebastian immediately and he felt his chest tighten as he saw Sebastian's hair mussed and a purplish bruise on the side of his neck.

Dave caught his eye and shook his head in disappointment. Sebastian looked both horrified and desperate to explain, but Chandler nudged Dave and motioned that they should go to the cinema and find their seats.

Dave couldn't look at Sebastian anymore and ignored him when he called his name hopelessly.

He made to find a seat near the back of the theatre with Chandler, but the boy winked at him.

"That was him, right? Let's give him a show," he said and pushed Dave towards the very front of the theatre.

"People will complain," Dave hissed but Chandler didn't look perturbed.

"Let them," he laughed.

Dave found he really wasn't paying any attention to the film. He'd had an immediate reaction of "_Wow, Harry grew up! He's hot_!" and then nothing more. The main reason for this was that he knew that Sebastian was somewhere in the dark with Spencer and watching his every move. Or maybe he had decided it wasn't worth it anymore and was simply letting Spencer blow him.

Eventually, Dave let himself turn around and try to inconspicuously look over his shoulder to find Sebastian.

Chandler chuckled.

"Put your arm around my shoulder," he told Dave, "That'll get him worried."

Dave hesitated, then did what Chandler suggested, slinging his arm along the back of the seat.

"I'm going to put my head on your shoulder, okay?" Chandler told him with a mischievous grin.

"O-okay," Dave stammered a little. Seconds later there was a warm, heavy, _comfortable_ weight on his shoulder and Chandler had snuggled into him.

"Your arm, Dave," Chandler prompted him kindly, "You want to sell it."

Dave moved his arm to wrap around Chandler's shoulders. Dave couldn't help but think about how solid they were. They weren't at all slim and muscular like Sebastian's. Dave found himself imagining what it would have been like if this had been _their_ date, not separate ones.

About fifteen minutes later, Chandler made a request.

"Wanna make out?" he smiled up at Dave, "Daniel Radcliffe doesn't really do it for me, and I did promise you revenge kissing… Still interested?"

Dave froze. He didn't know what to do. He knew that his deal with Sebastian meant that he had to go on three dates and get to third base, and logistically that all started with kissing. But it felt wrong.

Chandler was nicer than he had expected, and thankfully didn't seem to expect anything serious, but Dave knew he would feel guilty kissing him.

Then Dave remembered the way Sebastian had arrived at the cinema. Ruffled and well-kissed. He'd let Spencer get carried away with him. Dave reasoned that he hadn't made a rule about no kissing, but he still felt a cold stab of jealousy at the thought of Spencer marking Sebastian with hickeys.

"Okay," he said shakily.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was furious. He hated that the situation looked so bad; hated that Spencer had been almost impossible to escape from and hated that he cared so damn much what Dave was thinking.<p>

But most of all he was positively livid that this new gay kid who dressed worse than Dave and was nowhere near as good-looking, currently had his tongue down Dave's throat and had a hand stroking through his short hair.

Dave was a good kisser. An impartial viewer might have noticed that he had a nice technique and a gentle way he moved his lips against his partner's. Sebastian couldn't be impartial. He couldn't forget the way those lips had felt on his own, or stop himself from imagining twenty-seven different ways of killing the guy Dave was kissing.

To make things worse, Spencer seemed to be getting into their display and was stroking Sebastian's thigh, his fingers getting more and more dangerously close to his fly. Choosing to sit only three rows back from them had been a colossal mistake, Sebastian realised. Dave had been looking around earlier and hadn't seen him, so he probably had no idea that their over-exaggerated kisses and delicate moans were being received at such close range.

They broke apart for air and Sebastian heard Dave mutter something that made his blood boil.

"You're a heaps better kisser than him," he whispered emphatically and kissed Chandler again.

* * *

><p>Dave had been kissing Chandler for several minutes when the boy whispered it against his lips.<p>

"I can see him. He's three rows back behind you. He looks angry," Chandler's lips parted in a grin, then they were back on Dave's for another kiss. "You should say something. Something that will really piss him off."

Dave was a little kiss-drunk he supposed. Chandler really was a good kisser, despite Dave's utter lack of attraction to him, and Dave's brain felt hazy and compliant. So he muttered the first words he thought of.

"You're a heaps better kisser than him," he whispered in an aside, wanting desperately to turn and see how his words were received, but also kind of weirdly not wanting to stop kissing.

So he didn't.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was sick of pushing Spencer away from his dick.<p>

"No means no, Spence! Fucking hell!" He resisted loudly and noticed Dave turn around to look at him.

Spencer gave Dave a sarcastic little wave and grabbed Sebastian by the cheek, sticking his tongue dirtily down his throat.

"God! Spencer!" Sebastian spluttered and coughed.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Spencer hissed, "Usually you would have made me blow you three times by now."

"Well maybe I just want to try to go on a real date and see what a relationship is like!" Sebastian spat angrily.

Spencer flinched and looked amazed.

"Really?" he whispered quietly.

"Just stop, Spencer, okay?" Sebastian groaned wearily, "Leave me alone. I'm not fucking you."

"You want a real date?" Spencer pressed, his voice heavy with some unreadable emotion.

"Yes!" Sebastian snapped. "Now shhh!"

Sebastian watched Daniel Radcliffe being terrified by inanimate objects for several moments in peaceful silence.

Then Spencer reached down and held his hand.

Sebastian stared at their hands in amazement. Spencer snuggled into Sebastian's side and laid his head on Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian could only sit there stiffly as the horror movie on the screen was nothing compared to the one surrounding him in real life. Dave was making out with some stray three feet in front of him, and he was suddenly the cuddle-buddy for Spencer Cartwright.

Sebastian closed his eyes.

"You scared, honey?" Spencer giggled up at him.

"Terrified," he nodded without opening his eyes, "Fucking terrified."

**Is it crap? I'm too tired to be able to tell, I'm afraid :(**


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm baaa-ack! The great thing for you Americans is that I'm Australian, and me writing in the early hours of Monday morning here means that you get to read this chapter on a Sunday :P So there! I DID update on the weekend after all! **

**I didn't really know where I was taking this when I started to write it, but I hope you like it all the same… I think I do!**

**Again, thank you to everyone who reads and reviews and recommends! You're amazing and you make me exceptionally happy! I've just had a request to allow this story to be translated into Portuguese - A first for any of my fics, and so that will be happening sometime in the near future! A very special thank you to Lari Lovegood for offering to do that for me!**

**On with the show!**

Sebastian rang Dave after he dropped Spencer home. Spencer had been especially quiet but not in the good way. Instead he was looking at Sebastian with big eyes that practically had cartoon love hearts floating out of them and Sebastian had had enough.

He thanked God and Thor and Isis, and all the deities he could remember that Spencer wasn't a boarder, and drove the thirteen miles to his house stiffly, avoiding any and all glances to the right and only very nearly avoiding a collision at an intersection from his sheer reluctance to look in Spencer's direction.

"I really like you, Sebastian," Spencer practically purred shyly as he pulled to a sudden halt in his driveway and waited expectantly for Spencer to get out of the car. "I can't believe you actually asked me out."

"Dave asked you out _for_ me," Sebastian corrected him, but Spencer just acted like he had said something charming and romantic and laughed flirtatiously. He batted his eyelashes. Sebastian blinked.

_Oh god_, Sebastian panicked; he could feel a laugh coming now and he had to smother it. _Who bats their eyelashes_; he thought to himself and hoped that the way his mouth was beginning to crack into a grin wouldn't be obvious to Spencer. Spencer licked his lips a little and batted his eyelashes _again_ and Sebastian bit his lip to keep from bursting out laughing. It wasn't working. He did the only thing he could possibly think of and leant forward and kissed Spencer.

Spencer gave a happy little squeak and kissed him back fervently. Sebastian had often lamented Spencer's kissing ability. He was great in bed but he couldn't kiss worth a damn, and all Sebastian could think of was his kiss with Dave in the locker room and how full and soft his lips were and how his tongue met and stroked his gently, didn't try to explore his tonsils or search for buried treasure.

Sebastian broke away quickly and Spencer sort of sat with his eyes closed and mouth open, tongue practically lolling out of his mouth as if expecting another kiss. When none came he opened his eyes and looked embarrassed to see Sebastian fiddling with the radio.

"We should do this again!" he burst out desperately and Sebastian nodded non-committedly.

"Sure."

Spencer got out of the car and closed the door. He leant back down to the window as if to speak again, but Sebastian pulled out of the drive and drove away before he could say anything else.

Sebastian pulled over about a block away and yanked his phone from his pocket, dialling Dave's number frantically.

"Come on! Pick up, pick up, pick up!" he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently.

"Yes?" Dave answered the phone in a strange tone. Almost cold, but also amused.

"Where are you?" Sebastian demanded.

"Half way home," Dave replied in that strange tone, "Why?"

"Are you alone?" Sebastian screwed up his eyes, begging the answer to be 'yes'.

"Of course I am, Seb! Jeez, did you think I'd sleep with him or something? I'm not _you_!"

"Okay, firstly: _ouch_, and secondly: meet me at the park on Tremont Avenue."

"You mean the one near the school?" Dave sounded curious.

"That's the closest one to where I am," Sebastian begged, "Please, Dave?"

Dave sighed audibly then, "Be there in ten."

"Yes! I lov – I like you a reasonable amount!" Sebastian grinned.

Dave laughed and hung up the phone.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was on the swings waiting for Dave when he felt a pair of hands wrap around his eyes.<p>

Sebastian's gut plunged and his feet slipped on the ground as he struggled to stand.

"Hey, hey," Dave's voice was cool and gentle, "Sorry, I thought I'd be funny."

"Well you weren't!" Sebastian's chest was tight and his breathing was shallow.

They just looked at each other for a moment, then suddenly they were both moving and who knows who moved first, and who _cares_, because their hands were wrapped in each other's hair and around their waists and on their hips and their lips were meeting frantically and their eyes were tightly closed so they could lose themselves in the moment and not have to think about the fact that they were being incredibly stupid.

"Never kiss him again, understand me?" Sebastian growled and tugged Dave's short hair so he couldn't pull away.

"You let him give you hickeys," Dave gasped, "I was only - _oh God, Seb_ - getting even."

"You said he was a better kisser," Sebastian practically spat the words out like they were poison, punctuating them with kisses; "Say you were lying."

"No," Dave grinned and kissed him harder.

Sebastian tugged on Dave's hair so his neck was exposed and bit at it softly with his teeth and sucked the same spot. "_Say_. _It_."

"Oh God," Dave whined, his fingers were clutching onto Sebastian tightly, which would have been terrifying if it weren't for the fact that Dave was completely under his control. Sebastian felt more powerful than ever to think that Dave liked being dominated by him; controlled by him. Sebastian sucked harder. "I was lying! Kiss me again, please?"

Sebastian rewarded him with a groan and a deep, hungry kiss.

Eventually they made their way to a patch of grass, barely breaking apart to move, but once they were down, the realities began to surface and they stared at each other in a mixture of dismay and lust.

"This can't happen again," Dave said slowly and there was a broken tone to his voice. "We can't meet up after dates with them to make out with each other."

"I don't want to go on dates with Spencer. I want to go on dates with _you_," Sebastian told him firmly.

Dave's face softened.

"Me too," he admitted slowly, "But we both had reasons for wanting to try this."

"What were they again?" Sebastian asked bitterly.

"You wanted me to get to third base I believe," Dave laughed humourlessly and they both closed their mouths then.

They sat together in silence. The moon was especially bright and the oak trees were decorated with stars. There were fireflies and other insects flying around the streetlights. They sat there for nearly an hour, not speaking.

"I have to go," Dave spoke eventually.

"It's past curfew," Sebastian admitted, "I'll have detention this week."

"I'm sorry," Dave apologised awkwardly.

"Not your fault," Sebastian shook his head.

As Dave stood and the light from the moon and the streetlights hit his face in a particular way, Sebastian was suddenly overcome with the realisation that he was the stupidest human being to ever walk the face of the planet.

"You don't look like Liberace," Sebastian blurted out and Dave looked baffled then smiled.

"I know," he chuckled.

Sebastian stood up and threw his arms around Dave's neck tightly, only letting go when Dave stiffened and pulled at his arms.

"Too tight?" he asked apologetically.

Dave gave him a sad, knowing smile and nodded, "A little."

"I am _so_ glad it didn't work, Dave," Sebastian's voice broke, and he felt short of breath again and completely powerless. "Please don't ever…"

"I won't," Dave assured him hurriedly, "I'm glad I'm here too."

"I need to kiss you," Sebastian whined desperately, "God, now I know what it's like it's all I want to do!"

"Last one?" Dave said tentatively, as if unsure if kissing Sebastian again would make things better or worse.

Sebastian moved in till his lips were almost touching Dave's. He brushed his nose against Dave's almost stroking it with his own. "I want you to know that I have never kissed anyone this often without getting them naked."

"We're not _doing_ _it_ in a _park_, Sebastian," Dave rolled his eyes.

"I note that you weren't against the act, just the location," Sebastian raised his eyebrows hopefully. "I have a back seat…"

"Seb?" Dave sighed impatiently and actually stamped his foot a little, "Just kiss me!"

"Why don't you kiss me?" Sebastian countered, his gaze falling to Dave's lips. They were tantalisingly close.

"Because you're in control," Dave sighed in exasperation.

Oh right. That.

Sebastian crushed their lips together in the kind of kiss he could only imagine normally took place at airports when people were never going to see each other again.

* * *

><p>"So, you and Chandler?" Kurt grinned at Dave. He'd come over to 'borrow' something, but had spent the entire time lying on Dave's bed on his stomach, feet swinging happily in the air while Dave sat in his twirly office chair and tried to get some homework done.<p>

"He's pretty nice," Dave replied honestly.

"He left his teeth marks on your throat, Dave," Kurt giggled, "I'd say he's more than nice."

Dave's hand flew involuntarily to his neck to cover the hickey Sebastian must have left there.

"Honestly, don't you look in a mirror?" Kurt laughed, "Don't worry, I'll show you how to cover it with makeup."

Dave raised an eyebrow.

"You're _gay_, Dave."

Oh. Right.

"Is he a good kisser?"

Dave realised he could answer the question honestly without divulging that it was _Sebastian_ who had traumatised the blood vessels in the skin on his neck with his mouth.

"Yeah, he is," Dave smiled and found himself blushing at the excited look on Kurt's face.

"Oh, you're so smitten!" he squealed, "You have to double with me and Blaine!"

"Double?"

"Double date! You and Chandler and me and Blaine! We've never had a gay couple to hang out with before! We usually get stuck with Finn and Rachel which is tedious at best."

Everything in Dave was screaming '_Danger, Will Robinson_!' but how could he refuse?

"Sure, that sounds fun," he heard himself accept, trying to push Sebastian's face to the back of his mind.

"I'm so glad you decided to date someone who's a decent human being," Kurt grinned happily, kicking his feet again, "Blaine saw Sebastian this morning and he said he was covered in hickeys and he was bragging about making out with some guy at a park. That guy can't keep it in his pants long enough to have any kind of relationship."

Kurt continued talking but Dave stopped listening, instead turning his gaze back to his computer and checking out his (newly made and completely aliased) Facebook page. He clicked on Sebastian's name and scrolled through his photos.

Dave couldn't believe he was mooning over some guy's Facebook photo's, but still found himself grinning over one of Sebastian doing something obscene to a Ronald McDonald statue.

"Are you checking his Facebook right now?" Kurt demanded with a grin, "Because I've asked you the same thing four times and you've just ignored me and stared at the screen with a love-struck look on your face."

"Whose?" Dave asked stupidly.

"Chandler's?"

"Oh. Right. Y-yeah… I am," Dave stammered.

"Thought so!" Kurt looked smug.

Dave suddenly noticed something on Sebastian's profile.

_Relationship status: It's complicated._

Dave grinned despite himself.

**Awww :P Complicated indeedly boys! :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Oh, **_**boys**_**… :'(**

Dalton had suddenly gotten a lot smaller. Sebastian found himself utilizing shortcuts that were really _long_-cuts to get to his classes because in the walk from the third floor to the first in between first and second period, Spencer had materialised beside him and slipped his hand into Sebastian's, beaming defiantly at the incredulous stares.

"I thought you liked him?" Trent whispered to Dave as they walked a few feet behind the spectacle of Sebastian and Spencer walking hand in hand through the hallways.

"I'm dating a guy from McKinley," Dave avoided the question. Trent gave him a knowing look and raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you liked him?" he repeated again.

Dave ignored him and turned his gaze to the floor. As amusing as it was to see Sebastian hyperventilating and struggling to get away from Spencer's clutches, there was something about the sight of them walking hand in hand that made Dave primarily jealous.

"If it helps, Sebastian doesn't look thrilled with the situation," Trent offered finally and Dave raised his head to see Sebastian peeling himself carefully out of Spencer's grasp with almost terrified eyes… Wait…

"Get off him!" Dave shouted and ran the dozen or so steps to the pair of them, shoving Spencer away from Sebastian. "Are you okay?" he cupped Sebastian's face with his hand and wrapped the other around his waist.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, _Goodyear_?" Spencer sneered and brushed off his clothes.

Dave ignored him.

"You're safe," he whispered to Sebastian, "I've got you, okay? No one's going to hurt you."

"I'm fine," Sebastian breathed shakily, "Seriously, you're making a scene."

"He shouldn't have been grabbing you," Dave growled.

"He's tiny, Dave," Sebastian moved a hand to Dave's chest and pushed gently. Dave stepped away immediately. "_I'll be okay_," he mouthed silently and Spencer quickly wrapped himself around Sebastian once more. Dave couldn't watch as Spencer kissed him.

Trent clapped Dave on the back gently as he watched them walk down the hall to Sebastian's government class.

"Warbler's practice is at three," he pressed gently, "It might take your mind off things."

"Isn't he the lead?" Dave scoffed hopelessly.

"Yeah," Trent acknowledged. Dave realised that he'd given Trent a much bigger insight into his personal life in the last three minutes than he had been intending. But as he looked around at the crowded halls and the whispering that was already directed at him, he realised that apart from Sebastian he had no friends here.

"What do I have to sing?" he said decisively. Trent grinned and bounced happily.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was a little late to rehearsal that afternoon. Extracting himself from Spencer was beginning to take its toll and he had eventually just broken down and pressed him against a wall and kissed him, just so he'd shut up and let go of his arm.<p>

The door to the room slammed beside them in someone's wake and Sebastian, startled, took advantage of the disruption to break away and run into the room after them.

Dave was there.

Sebastian somehow found him immediately when he walked in and noticed him about to sit down.

Dave glared at him.

_Oh_. Sebastian abruptly realised who had slammed the door on their way into the commons and had seen him pressing Spencer into the wall and kissing him.

_Dave_.

Sebastian felt like hitting something so he wrenched the gavel from Thad's grasp and banged it heavily on the table thrice, even though everyone was already silent at the sight of his arrival. He sank heavily into the chair behind the table and rested his head on his hand uncharacteristically. He looked broken somehow.

A round of sniggers began.

"Order!" Sebastian barked, rubbing his temple, trying to stem the beginnings of a headache.

"_Sebastian and Spencer, sitting in a tree_…" someone sang under their breath and the room erupted into giggles. Sebastian's eyes flew to Dave. He was sitting next to Trent and seemed very interested in his knees. Trent was watching Sebastian carefully and had the beginnings of a smile on his face.

"That's enough of acting like children, please!" Sebastian demanded curtly.

"I can't believe _Cartwright_ managed to get shackles on _Sebastian Smythe_," Nick piped up with a grin, "How are you liking being all monogamous?"

"Who said anything about monogamy? Sebastian sneered quickly, and couldn't quite help the way his eyes flew to Dave's throat, where he had marked… Wait… where was it? Sebastian's brow furrowed as he inspected Dave's neck carefully and found nothing but pale skin. He'd put a hickey on him, he was certain. He knew it wasn't low enough to be covered by his collar, so where was it? Sebastian realised that Dave had covered it with makeup; that Dave Karofsky was sitting there looking innocent, while he wore a caking of foundation over Sebastian's bite marks. Sebastian felt a sudden rush of blood race south and deliberately looked away to focus instead on Jeff, who was glaring at Sebastian.

"You can't lead Spencer on, Sebastian," Jeff said in a condemning tone, "He's liked you for years. It's cruel to lead him on and play around behind his back."

"Shut up, Jeff," Sebastian turned away again, "When I want your opinion on how to be a proper monogamous hetero, I'll ask for it. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy my cock-fest, okay?"

Sebastian felt Dave's eyes burning holes into his skin in disapproving shame. He didn't realise why he had a sudden pang of illness seem to wash over him momentarily, before he realised that he felt guilty. _Sebastian Smythe felt guilty_…

"I'm sorry, Jeff, I shouldn't have…" Sebastian began slowly, but the words sounded thick and foreign and he had no idea how to sound sincere, "We have Dave here to audition, I guess. Dave?"

Dave got up and began fumbling with a CD. The room seemed focused on Sebastian though. None of the Warblers had ever heard Sebastian apologise or seem human, and they were all looking at him as if he had grown an extra head.

"Read – Ready?" Sebastian asked Dave, his voice a little croaky.

"Yeah… This is all I could find on short notice."

"I'm sure it's great, Dave," Sebastian smiled reassuringly, "You'll be fine, just don't picture this lot in their underwear. Not a pretty picture, believe me."

Dave shook his head with a small laugh and pressed a finger to his lips.

"Shhh, you're distracting me," he grinned.

Thad and Trent stared at each other in disbelief, almost unable to believe that Sebastian was being nice to Dave and that Dave was gently teasing Sebastian and getting away with it.

Dave hit play on the CD player.

The music began to play and Dave suddenly reached across to grab Sebastian's hand.

"I just want you to change the way you feel about a word that's in this song, okay? It's a nice word," he whispered. Thad looked like he was straining his ears trying to hear what Dave was saying but couldn't quite catch the words.

Sebastian gulped a little at that, but nodded.

Then Dave started to sing. h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = H Q u W a e g F z - w

_This Romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood __  
><em>_It's nothing but some feelings __  
><em>_That this old dog kicked up __  
><em>_It's been raining since you left me __  
><em>_Now I'm drowning in the flood __  
><em>_You see I've always been a fighter __  
><em>_But without you I give up_

_Now I can't sing a love song __  
><em>_Like the way it's meant to be __  
><em>_Well,I guess I'm not that good anymore __  
><em>_But baby, that's just me_

_Yeah I, will love you, baby __  
><em>_Always and i'll be there __  
><em>_Forever and a day, always_

_I'll be there, till the stars don't shine __  
><em>_Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme __  
><em>_I know when i die you'll be on my mind __  
><em>_and I'll love you, always_

_Now your pictures that you left behind __  
><em>_Are just memories of a different life __  
><em>_Some that made us laugh __  
><em>_Some that made us cry __  
><em>_One that made you have to say goodbye_

_What I'd give to run my fingers thru your hair __  
><em>_Touch your lips, to hold you near, __  
><em>_When you say your prayers, try to understand __  
><em>_I've made mistakes, I'm just a man_

_When he holds you close, when he pulls you near __  
><em>_When he says the words __  
><em>_You've been needing to hear, I'll wish I was him __  
><em>_'Cause these words are mine, to say to you __  
><em>_'Til the end of time_

_And I will love you, baby __  
><em>_Always and I'll be there __  
><em>_Forever and a day, always _

Dave was thoroughly regretting his song choice when he started to sing, but the battered Bon Jovi CD had been the only one in his car, and he'd gotten Trent to fiddle with the song in his third period computer lab class to rip the vocals.

Sebastian was just watching him with some torn expression on his face and Dave flinched when he had to sing the word 'baby' and looked at him pleadingly. It was only then when their eyes locked that he noticed that Sebastian's eyes were glittery.

When Dave finished, Sebastian sat silently and the rest of the room was filled with a thunderous silence, every boy's eyes locked on the two of them.

Sebastian got up and walked out.

Dave's heart was in his throat and he glanced around desperately at all of them.

"Go after him," Trent spoke up, his voice echoing in the silence. "Dave? Go."

Dave ran.

* * *

><p>Sebastian didn't know why he was crying. He didn't know if it was because Dave had sung so beautifully; whether it was because he had sung that particular song with all its talk of loving one another for ever; or whether it was the way Dave had looked at him gently and told him to try to make that word a good memory. All he knew was that he was sobbing in a hallway, sinking to the floor, his knees were sturdy places to bury his face and his arms were holding so tightly to them, as if he was afraid he might fly away without the stability.<p>

Dave's scent, his presence, his warmth was enveloping him gently, and Dave was kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back.

"I don't know why…" Sebastian managed with a sob.

"Me neither," Dave said, and Sebastian felt Dave's tears in his hair.

**I keep trying to write to this three date storyline and they keep rebelling and telling me they want to be together… I will not be controlled by characters! Or will I?**


	15. Chapter 15

**No Sebastian this chapter… :( He's discussed a lot tho…**

"I have to tell you something," Dave said hesitantly to Dr Goldman. "But I don't know what to say about it."

"It's okay, Dave. Take your time," she smiled sweetly.

"I'm having… boy trouble," Dave felt himself blush and gave a self-mocking smile.

"Is this Sebastian?" Dr Gold smiled, "You've mentioned him before."

"Jeez, you're good!" Dave laughed, "Yeah it is, but it's very complicated."

"Well let's see if we can _un_-complicate it. It's a great part of your recovery that you're thinking about being open with your relationships with other men, and it's great that you're willing to discuss that with me."

"You once asked me when I first started masturbating, Dr Gold… We're past the awkwardness…"

She laughed prettily and shook her head so her blonde curls bounced.

"Go on, David," she smiled, "Tell me about the boy. Where did you meet him? He came to visit you in the hospital if I'm correct?"

Dave nodded.

"I really only knew him to say hello to. He went to Scandals a lot too. You know the gay bar that you're not telling my father about?"

She laughed again and nodded but didn't interrupt. Dave loved how warm this room felt now. At first it had seemed constricting and small, but after his many hours of therapy in it, he could appreciate its homeliness.

"Well the last time we saw each other at the club, Sebastian sort of insulted me I guess. So he felt guilty when… When I tried to kill myself." Dave had long since learnt not to avoid talking about what he had tried to do in front of Dr Gold. She had told him that trying to cover it up or brush it aside made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. "So he visited me in the hospital and we sort of became friends, I guess."

"What's he like?" Dr Gold asked interestedly.

"He's tall and thin…" Dave began but Dr Gold held up a hand with a smile.

"I mean personally, not physically. Is he kind? Understanding?"

"I guess most people would call him rude and a sex addict," Dave said slowly, taking in her look of utter dismay, "But he's not, and there's something else."

"Something about his past?" Dr Gold asked almost knowingly.

Dave nodded.

"I shouldn't say anything, it's not my story," he muttered nervously.

"David, sometimes being a good friend, and trying to help that friend, means betraying a trust or two to the right people. If there is something that has happened to Sebastian that you think he should tell a parent or the police and he isn't, then telling me might at least give you a clue as to how to help him."

"He was raped."

The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back, and he almost felt the bile rise in his throat in disgust with himself.

Dr Gold nodded casually; even though Dave knew that look and it was the face she put on to cover that something he had told her was disturbing.

"When did this happen?" she asked softly.

"About three years ago. He hasn't told me much except there were three of them, he was drunk and they were my build."

Dr Gold nodded unhappily, "I can see where he would have problems with intimacy after that."

"He covers up," Dave told her, "He sleeps around with other guys but they're all smaller than him and… he never… well never… takes?"

Dr Gold (to her credit) didn't blush at his words just smiled sadly.

"Dave, can you tell me about _your_ relationship with Sebastian?"

"We've kissed."

"More than that," she shook her head, "I mean emotionally. Does he want to be with you? Do you want to be with him?"

Dave nodded.

"I told him I wanted to try to go on a date and see how it went. You know; no pressure, just try it out. He said no because he had this crazy idea that we would be together right away like Kurt and Blaine. And that couldn't happen. So I realised that he's never had a relationship before and we talked about it and now we are each going on three dates with other people. He has to last the three dates without fu – I mean, without sleeping with him."

"And you?"

"He…" Dave felt embarrassed, but also couldn't help the smile that developed at the memory of Sebastian's words. "He told me that once we'd been on the three dates we would get together and he didn't want me to be jealous of all the sex he'd had before we met, so I have to… get to third base…"

Now Dave was blushing.

Dr Gold laughed gently and Dave couldn't help the look of surprise that came over him.

"You think it's stupid?" he asked.

"Have you kissed him since you implemented the rule?" Dr Gold countered.

"Yes."

"Then, yes, it's stupid," she smiled. "Dave, your idea is right in principle. Really, and Sebastian's too, believe it or not. But the reason it's stupid is because you are both using it as a barrier that's stopping you from being together, instead of fixing real issues. Sebastian isn't using his no-sex relationship to learn about emotional intimacy, and you aren't using yours to learn about physical relations with men. And that won't happen unless you really try."

"I don't want to," Dave said in a small voice.

"Well don't you want Sebastian to have the chance to see if he'd be cut out for the sort of emotional connection you're looking for? Didn't you ask him to try?" Dave nodded. "Then you should try too. I'm not implying that you should do anything that you aren't comfortable with, or sleep with someone to prove a point to Sebastian. Sex is special and I can see how you would want to wait to share that experience with someone you care about. But you should stop thinking about it in terms of 'two more dates, then I can be with him' and start thinking of 'will I be ready for the kind of commitment we want in two more dates?' Think about it in terms of readying yourself for different experiences, not just waiting it out for Sebastian."

Dave started to understand what she meant, but…

"It doesn't make any difference," he sighed, "I still want to be with him. He needs me."

"Dave, I think you're focusing on helping Sebastian get through his own problems instead of focusing on yours. Do you realise that it has only been a month since you left the hospital? You feel better because of your medication and the new school and the fact that you can be open and Sebastian is paying you attention and that makes you feel wanted and attractive, but the truth is, soon those things may stop feeling like a novelty, and you'll have to start living in reality a little more... I wonder…"

Dave looked at her. "Wonder what?"

"I want to help Sebastian," she admitted, "Rape victims deal with their fear in all different kinds of ways, and he seems to be focusing his in some very negative ways."

"He's getting better!" Dave protested weakly.

"Dave, honey, you don't just get better," she smiled weakly, "He's a lot like you, in that he'll never forget that horrible thing that happened to him. Do you think you could get him to come as part of your treatment? Tell him that I want to discuss your relationship. It's not lying because I do. I won't tell him anything you've said about him, I promise."

Dave nodded mutely.

"Do you think you'll be able to get him here?" she asked with concern.

"Depends," Dave shrugged.

"On?"

"Whether I'm allowed to make out with him some more as enticement? He's really very easily encouraged when he's horny."

Dr Gold seemed to stifle a smile at Dave's words. Dave was surprised at himself. He never spoke to adults like that. Sebastian was rubbing off on him. And not in the _good_ way… _Stop that!_ He scolded himself.

"Let's say we ban the kissing for now," she smiled knowingly. "I'll decide if there should be a revoke on the ban after I talk to him. I want to actually meet him. Can't have you making out with an ugly kid, can I?"

Dave laughed.

"If that's the only qualification we'll be kissing within five seconds of him walking in the door," he grinned.

**Thank you for all the love you've been sending my way about this story. It makes me so happy!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Oh, my god… What did I just write? **

"So, Chandler," Kurt grinned with a wink aimed at Dave, "Dave tells me you're a really good kisser."

Dave groaned audibly and Blaine gave him a sympathetic look. The evening was not going well. Kurt had been quizzing Chandler and Dave about their 'relationship' all evening, even though they had made it very clear that they were only casually dating.

'Casually dating' was the term Chandler had come up with. He had spoken to Dave a few times since their last date and had obviously come to terms with the fact that Dave wasn't into him. He'd revealed that he didn't really feel anything for Dave romantically either, and Dave had been happy to hear it because it meant that no feelings were hurt. "_Of course, we can keep dating and kissing and stuff if you want? There's only so many gay guys in Ohio you know… Gotta get some action somehow!_" Chandler had said with an easy laugh. Dave didn't like to remind him that he attended a boys private school where the ratio of gay and bisexual boys was higher than most.

So they had agreed to go to dinner with Kurt and Blaine, which had unfortunately begun in disaster when Kurt began to regale the group with the long-winded story of why Sebastian was a jackass, and had spiralled into farce when it was revealed that Sebastian and Spencer were sitting at a table across the restaurant, hidden behind a plastic plant, but well within earshot of Kurt and eye line of Dave and Chandler.

Sebastian didn't look away from Dave the whole meal. Every time he raised his head, he saw him; watching, staring, leering, coveting.

* * *

><p>Sebastian was over the whole thing. He had ordered wine with dinner and the waitress knew him and his generous tips so she'd brought it. Then when Spencer had started to talk about football statistics and scholarships and how he'd never had a boyfriend before, Sebastian had started drinking. And drinking and drinking and drinking. The whole bottle was gone by the time their meals were even half-eaten. He felt giddy. More free than he had in weeks. His thoughts were finally clear.<p>

He _hated_ Dave.

_He_ was the one making him do this. And there he was sitting with Blaine and Kurt and that Chandler guy, laughing and talking about their date and Sebastian wanted to throw up when Kurt mentioned that he'd heard Chandler was a good kisser. Dave's blush said it all. Of course Dave didn't really like Sebastian. No one did. Not even Spencer who was running his foot up his thigh and holding his hand in an obvious sort of way. Dave just wanted someone, and Sebastian had fit the bill.

Sebastian glared at Dave and hated him.

He took another sip of wine.

* * *

><p>"Hey, excuse me for a second, I have to go and talk to Seb about something," Dave stood up abruptly and left Kurt mouthing '<em>Seb<em>?' at Blaine and Chandler watching him leave with a wistful, interested smile.

"Sebastian, I need to ask you about something," Dave began shortly, ignoring Spencer's glare.

"Go to the bathroom," Sebastian ordered Spencer rudely. Spencer's mouth dropped open in shock.

"I'm not going to let my boyfriend speak to me like that!" he hissed, "Apologise!"

Sebastian sneered at him.

"I'm not your boyfriend. If I was, I'd have to have actually pretended to be interested in whatever crap you've been waffling on with for the last half an hour. Instead, I've spent the time devouring about a thousand calories worth of breadsticks and planning different ways to use them to prevent you from talking. Go to the bathroom."

Dave watched the thunderstorm of hurt, jealousy, betrayal and finally fury roll over Spencer's face.

"I'm breaking up with you," he said coldly, "You're a jerk just like everyone says. You don't deserve anyone trying to help you change."

"Who says I want to change?" Sebastian said flippantly, "I've fucked you for _free_, I don't see the point in paying for you to _bore_ me first."

Spencer threw his napkin on the table and stood up angrily, "You can have him," he sneered to Dave, then stalked out.

"Sebastian…" Dave said in a disappointed voice, "You were so close to three dates!"

"Yeah, well it's not like _you_ were going to be able to get _that_ _guy_ to want to suck you, anyway," Sebastian snarled, his voice cold, "At least now you can come and have dinner with me and tell that guy to fuck off and I can _finally_ get a blowjob!"

Dave peeked at the table he'd just left and saw three identical looks of incredulous horror and disgust on Kurt, Blaine and Chandler's faces.

"I'm not giving you a blowjob," Dave lowered his voice to a hiss, uncomfortable with the amount of eavesdropping that was going on.

"Are you fucking serious?" Sebastian scoffed, "Yes you are! You want to be together? That's like a daily activity."

"Oh, my god," Dave ran a hand over his face, as if trying to pull the unpleasant thoughts out and throw them in Sebastian's face. "Is that really all this is about? Sex?"

"He fucked you yet?" Sebastian stood up and called across the restaurant to Chandler who froze in amazement, "He good? He won't let me find out! What's your secret?"

"Are you drunk?" Dave suddenly realised the problem. "You need to sit down and have a glass of water. How did you get here?"

"Spencer gave me head while I drove his car," Sebastian taunted, his words cutting Dave like blades.

"Well, _he_ went down on me in the men's room before you arrived," Dave countered and pointed at Chandler.

"Spencer's ass is so _tight_ when you fuck into him. You should try it, Dave!"

"Chandler lets you fuck his mouth and come on his face!"

"Guys? Shut the fuck up!" Blaine hissed, suddenly standing beside them. "Sebastian, you're drunk and saying stuff you don't mean, and Dave, you're letting him get to you. Both of you march yourselves over to our table and have a glass of water."

"Fuck that, Dick Van Dyke," Sebastian muttered, "I'm out of here."

He headed for the door. He'd made it outside to the cool air when Dave grabbed him. He screamed and punched madly, "Let me go!"

"Jesus Christ, Seb!" Dave swore, rubbing his shoulder. "Will you just come back in and be with me? Just sit and be quiet and calm down so we can sort this shit out?"

"You don't want to be with me! You want to be with Mr Amazing Kisser in there who can't dress himself!"

"That's not true…"

"_HE MISSED A BUTTON! HIS WHOLE SHIRT IS LOPSIDED!_"

"Shhh!" Dave looked around furtively, then lead Sebastian to his car, leaning him against it and standing in front of him firmly, blocking his exit. "I _meant_, it's not true that I want to be with him, you ass!"

"Yes you do! You don't like me! You just want to _fuck_ _me_ like they did!"

"Oh, Seb! Tell me you don't really think that? Please?"

"I do," Sebastian said stubbornly, "It's all a game so you can _have_ me then leave me again. You want to get me back for calling you Liberace!"

Dave laughed mirthlessly.

"Sebastian, you're drunk, so I know you won't understand this right now, but know that I would _not_ put up with this much shit from _anyone_ else. No one. You're the _only_ one I want to be with because you know what it's like to be me. You know how it feels. You're strong, you're determined, you're stubborn, you're _beautiful_," Dave smiled and cupped a hand around Sebastian's cheek, "And I wish I was allowed to kiss you right now," he finished forlornly.

"I'm in control," Sebastian recited.

"Not right now you're not," Dave said firmly, pushing Sebastian away gently as he made to kiss him. "I'm not kissing you while you're drunk. But I'm afraid I'm not allowed to kiss you full stop. My therapist told me not to."

"I'm going to kill that bitch," Sebastian whined and looked dizzy.

"You'll come with me to talk to her, won't you?" Dave murmured in Sebastian's ear, "Prove to her that we should be together?"

"I promise," Sebastian nodded drunkenly.

Dave pulled out a napkin and a pen from his pocket.

"Here, sign here to say that you will go with me to see her on Thursday afternoon."

Sebastian signed and boasted, "Be careful with that autograph! It'll be worth money some day!"

"I know, baby," Dave smiled then froze and flinched, "Sorry!"

"You called me 'baby'" Sebastian told him in a dazed voice.

"I know; I'm sorry! It slipped out. Are you okay?"

"I liked it!" Sebastian actually bounced with excitement at the fact, "Dave, it didn't make me afraid! Call me 'baby' again!"

"I think you've had enough for tonight," Dave grinned.

"Do it!" Sebastian ordered in a cross tone.

"Baby…" Dave said uncertainly.

Sebastian giggled.

"My god, you're so pissed," Dave laughed, "How much did you drink? Let's get you back to my place to sober up. I'll ring Dalton and tell them you need an overnight pass."

* * *

><p>It was only later, once Dave had Sebastian in his house, drinking copious amounts of water and admiring his model aeroplanes that Dave remembered Chandler.<p>

Oops.

"I can't wear your clothes!" Sebastian argued, "They smell like you!"

"Is that bad?" Dave asked.

"It's distracting! I'll need to jerk off all night!"

"Oh wow… Um… how about just track pants?" Dave offered them to him, trying to hide his smug grin. "You can have a shower if you want."

Sebastian skipped off to the shower belting the Divinyls and Dave breathed heavily. There was a boy in his room. A drunk boy who kissed like nothing else on earth and was quite possibly masturbating in his shower right now.

Paul came to his door and watched him breathing nervously and tidying his room a little.

"That crab-kid is singing about touching himself. Door… um… Dave? Door stays open, okay?"

Dave smiled. It was so reassuring to know that his dad had no idea how to handle the idea of his son sharing a bed with a boy either.

"This is weird, isn't it?" Dave remarked casually.

Paul gave a non-committal little nod, "I think in some ways it's the most normal we've ever been… Goodnight son."

Dave couldn't tell why he felt like crying then.

He changed into a pair of pyjama bottoms and sat on the bed, waiting for Sebastian.

"Oh my god… Your nipples are enormous!" Sebastian exclaimed, then shook his head a little in bewilderment. "I think I'm starting to sober up, and I can _acknowledge_ the fact that I'm talking crap… I'm just can't _prevent_ it…"

Dave wrapped his arms around himself, covering his nipples and smiled.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Dave told him. He tried to stop himself from gawking at Sebastian's chest. He had actual _pecs_, and his skin was pale and perfect. There was a scar below his belly button and he was actually a little hairy.

"I'm sorry for what I said at the restaurant," Sebastian said, "You know that I just say stuff when I'm angry…"

They both made to lie down on the bed and Sebastian seemed to have all barriers down because his bare chest was pressed against Dave's and his arm was draped over his stomach.

"You're all hard here," Sebastian pressed his fingers into Dave's abdomen, "I always thought you'd be squishy."

Dave gulped.

"How drunk are you?" he asked quietly.

"I could swear there were aeroplanes flying around your room right now," Sebastian laughed, "And I think if I'm not careful, I might roll off your bed. The floor keeps tilting!"

"I've got you," Dave mumbled into Sebastian's neck. There was a silence for a long while, while Dave gathered his thoughts and Sebastian clung onto him for dear life, like he would really roll off the edge of the mattress.

"Hey… Seb?"

"Hmm?" Sebastian said sleepily.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Sebastian gave a little snore.

**Let me know what you think? :P**


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay… HERE we go! The one you've all been waiting for! :P **

Sebastian found himself awake in the early hours of the morning. He panicked at first to find Dave's arms wrapped around him, then realised he had never felt so comfortable in his life. He breathed deeply for several minutes, calming his body and mind and making sure he was sober again.

_Dave_.

_Dave really was amazing_, Sebastian let himself admit. He'd insulted him, punched him and embarrassed him, but he was here with his arms wrapped over Sebastian's waist, his eyes closed peacefully and his brow resting against Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian nudged against him.

"Wake up," he whispered in an urging voice. "Dave?"

"Mmm, what?" Dave mumbled against Sebastian's throat.

"Nothing," Sebastian smiled.

"Well, whaddidya wake me up for?" Dave groaned and cracked one eye to peek at the digital display on his alarm clock. "Seb! It's three-forty-nine!"

"I just missed you," Sebastian whispered and shuffled down the bed to look at Dave's face. Dave stared at him and he hesitantly reached out a hand to trace Dave's lips and eyelids and ears.

"I'm right here," Dave told him in a throaty voice. Sebastian couldn't tell if it was from the sleep or emotion.

"Did you really say it?"

"Say what?" Dave asked cautiously, his eyes narrowed.

"You _know_ what," Sebastian told him.

There was a long pause while they stared at each other, Sebastian's fingers still skimming lightly over Dave's features.

"Yes."

Sebastian smiled softly but said nothing.

"I thought you were asleep," Dave accused with a smile.

"I thought it was a dream," Sebastian countered with a matching grin.

"How much do you remember of last night?" Dave asked.

"Everything," Sebastian told him, "I don't get black outs from drinking."

"I lied to you," Dave murmured and brushed Sebastian's hair from his forehead, gazing into his eyes and trying not to get lost in them.

"You _don't_ love me?" Sebastian sounded affronted and began to pull away but Dave laughed and pulled him back. Sebastian panicked a bit and threw Dave's arm off him.

"Sorry! Sorry," Dave nuzzled into Sebastian's neck and spoke in his ear, "I love you."

Sebastian loved the way his body relaxed at the words. Like his nervous system knew it was Dave and trusted him and calmed.

"What did you lie about then?" he smiled and traced a finger around one of Dave's nipples, still in awe of how wide they were.

"I didn't really do any of that stuff," Dave grinned sheepishly, "I couldn't bring myself to do anything with Chandler. I was just telling you things to make you angry."

Sebastian looked relieved, then stricken, "But… in twenty years!"

"I'll still be happy I waited for you," Dave smiled and Sebastian's heart caught in his throat.

"I lied too," Sebastian looked guilty, "I never let Spencer touch me."

Dave smiled in obvious relief and Sebastian searched his face.

"You really love me?" he asked. It was more of a statement than a question.

"I really do," Dave grinned.

Sebastian took a shaky deep breath and closed his eyes, marvelling at the safety he found in those words.

"I-I love you too," he whispered hesitantly.

"I know," Dave closed his eyes and rested their heads together, "I know."

"Can you kiss me now?" Sebastian pleaded, "Please?"

"I'm not allowed, Seb," Dave groaned, "Dr Gold…"

"Dr Gold just wants to cockblock me," Sebastian whined.

"Yes, I'm sure that's her aim in life," Dave laughed and squeezed Sebastian around the middle.

Sebastian looked around the room and his eyes fell almost immediately on the aeroplanes hanging from the ceiling.

"Explain," he demanded and pointed at them.

Dave went quiet. He observed the planes like he didn't like to look at them.

"They were the reason I tried…" he said slowly. "When I was little, I always used to look at them and wonder if when they were cut down, the fall to the ground would feel like flying to them because they didn't know any different. So that afternoon, I was upset and I got it in my head that if I strung myself up that when I was gone and I got cut down, that I might finally get to fly away."

Sebastian couldn't breathe properly through the giant lump in his throat.

"I hate hearing about that," he admitted, "I know you need to talk about it, but it makes me feel terrified and alone and … just _fragile_."

"_My dad kept the belt_," Dave whispered through his tears, "I found it in his room last week under a pile of laundry."

"Where did you…" Sebastian asked cautiously, unsure he wanted to know the answer.

"In there," Dave pointed at his closet and at the beam in the roof.

"You wanted to die in the closet?" Sebastian asked, a morose, wry smile on his face, "That's terribly poetic of you."

"I didn't really want to die at all," Dave said softly, "I just wanted it to be better."

"Is it better now?"

"Yes. I have you," Dave smiled through his tears, "What about you? Better? Or scarier?"

"Good scary," Sebastian admitted, "I can feel you touching me and it's all I can focus on, but I feel safe with you. I know you won't hurt me."

"Never," Dave shook his head vehemently.

"We have to get up for school early," Sebastian sounded upset, "I don't have my uniform."

"We should get to sleep," Dave nuzzled his nose against Sebastian's.

"I'll miss you," Sebastian smiled sadly.

"You too, baby," Dave said cautiously, as if trying out the word.

Sebastian flinched.

"Too soon?" Dave asked, "You liked it last night."

"I know… Might just take some getting used to."

"I… I love you," Dave said again and smiled nervously. "That might take some getting used to too."

"Love you," Sebastian smiled and kissed him so fleetingly that he barely felt their lips touch. Dave looked at him, scandalised and Sebastian laughed. "She won't know."

And they went to sleep, hand in hand, head to head, heart to heart.

* * *

><p>"You broke our agreement, didn't you?" Dr Gold accused Dave with a smile as soon as he and Sebastian walked in the next afternoon.<p>

"Do you blame me?" Dave smiled, "And technically, _he_ kissed _me_…"

"Well, he's cute, I'll give you that," Dr Gold admitted.

Sebastian scowled.

"I am in the room you know?"

"I'm Dr Gold, Sebastian," she gave him a friendly smile.

"Yes, I know," Sebastian said, "You're the reason that Dave won't kiss me, even though he told me he loves me."

Dr Gold looked taken aback.

"Dave, is that true?" she asked with a small smile.

"Yes," Dave blushed and ducked his head at Sebastian, "He loves me too."

"I take it you've decided to abandon the three-date experiment, then?" she enquired.

"It was a stupid experiment," Sebastian said roughly.

"I agree," she smiled broadly, "Most especially when I see you two together."

There was an awkward silence when none of them said anything. Dave squeezed Sebastian's hand gently, reassuring him.

"So, I guess you want to discuss the prospect of a relationship between the two of you?" Dr Gold ventured.

"There's no 'prospect'," Sebastian corrected, "We're together. Deal with it."

Dr Gold didn't flinch as Sebastian's rudeness.

"Okay, well Sebastian, I want you to tell me a little bit about your relationship history," she requested, "Just in Dave's best interests so I can help him negotiate this relationship smoothly. Dave has never had a boyfriend before. He's only just come out. How can you relate to that situation?"

Sebastian looked like he wanted to leave immediately.

"You told her?" he asked Dave quietly.

Sebastian didn't look angry, so Dave nodded.

"I didn't know how to help you," he replied gently.

"I'm not angry…" Sebastian stroked his hand softly. He turned to Dr Gold. "What Freudian questions do you want to ask me? Did I think about my _father_ while they fucked me? Did I _come_?"

Dr Gold's poker face was on.

"Sebastian, I don't need to ask you questions. I just want you to talk to me about how the fear of that event has affected you day-to-day."

"How has it affected me?" Sebastian's voice rose, "How the fuck do you think it's affected me? My relationship with my father is distant as hell and he just thinks I'm an ass of a kid who refuses to work in his company! I've never had a boyfriend but I've fucked more guys than I have fingers and toes! I know Dave won't hurt me, but I still get that thrill of fear through me whenever he touches me! Is that what you mean, _Dr Gold_?"

Dave pulled Sebastian to him, stroking his back and cupped his cheek, forcing him gently to look at him. "You're safe," he reminded him, "You're in control, okay?"

Dr Gold watched them clinging to each other.

"Dave, you're very good at understanding what Sebastian needs," she commented, "Do you think Sebastian understands your triggers too?"

"Yes," Dave said vehemently, "He knows more than anyone apart from you."

"Alright," she nodded, "How could you expect a relationship between you to work effectively when you know how to hurt one another?"

"Because he never would!" Dave exclaimed, "Seb wouldn't hurt me, ever."

Sebastian had calmed enough to look angry in agreement.

"Alright, say you are dating," Dr Gold hypothesised, "And it starts to become intimate. Dave, you've never had that sort of intimacy; with a boy at least, and Sebastian has had that intimacy many times, without emotion. Knowing that you are exposed to the other like that could trigger either of you. How do you think you will deal with that situation?"

It was Sebastian's turn to speak.

"I know you're talking about me," he told her, "And I've been thinking about it myself. I really think that as long as we go slowly and Dave is gentle, then we should be fine."

"I've thought about it too," Dave blushed, "And I think I would want Sebastian to be in control of the situation as much as he can. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, I get your drift, David," she smiled, "And I must admit that if you're willing to do that, it would probably make things easier on Sebastian. But there are all sorts of ways to be intimate that don't always have to include… penetrative sex."

"No, I want you to fuck me," Sebastian protested, forgetting Dr Gold was there. She coughed and he blushed then gave her a defiant glare.

"Not at first," Dave said gently and Sebastian was placated.

"What about your emotional relationship?" Dr Gold pressed, "You seem to trust each other already which is great."

"We'll be fine," Sebastian said impatiently, "Honestly, this is a waste of time. I want to take Dave on dates and hang out at his house and talk about our day and bitch about Kurt. Mostly thought, I want to kiss my…my _boyfriend_ because he told me he loved me and I wasn't allowed to kiss him!"

Dr Gold smiled.

"Sebastian, I'll humour you, but I really hope to see you again. Dave, I'll give you an early mark," she laughed, "Take this boy and kiss him before he explodes. I'll see you next week, okay?"

Dave nodded excitedly and Sebastian was pulling him to the door. He felt giddy, dizzy, dazed.

He was pressed against a brick wall against the outside of the building before he could realise what Sebastian was doing. Sebastian had his hands on either side of his head, pressing his body against him and holding him in place.

"Kiss me," Sebastian ordered, "You never kiss me and I want you to."

"Not here," Dave protested, "I want this to be perfect."

"Where the fuck do you want to go then? It's _Ohio_! Nowhere is perfect!"

Dave grinned and tugged at Sebastian's hand. "Come on!" he encouraged, "We need to find somewhere that's just right, not in front of my therapist's building."

* * *

><p>"The lake?" Sebastian asked dubiously as Dave pulled up there, "I must warn you that I've fucked guys up here."<p>

Dave flinched but otherwise acted like he hadn't heard the information. It was late afternoon so the sun was a brilliant orange over the water and the clouds were a soft purple. The grass was starkly green and Sebastian felt his heart pounding as Dave smiled at him.

"Come on, lay down with me?" he asked softly and Sebastian followed him to a soft green patch of grass and lay down.

"I'm going to lean over you, but I won't put my weight on you, okay?" Dave told him cautiously.

"This step-by-step crap isn't sexy," Sebastian warned him.

"This is," Dave winked and leant over, capturing Sebastian's lips for the first time in almost a week. He let out a sigh and let his mouth open enough for Sebastian to slip him the tongue and make him groan needily.

"I can't believe this is happening," Sebastian muttered incredulously, "You're not real… you can't be."

"I'm real," Dave assured him and kissed him once more, "And I love you."

Sebastian shivered and grinned at him.

"Kiss me again, you big idiot," he smiled and almost absent-mindedly traced little love hearts over Dave's chest.

"Gladly," Dave grinned and did.

**I hope it wasn't a let-down after so much build-up! I had this written with the last chapter, and it was hilarious to see how many people were raging about me not letting them be together :P It was always coming, guys!**


	18. Chapter 18

**You guys are incredible with the reviews o_O It's blown me away!**

**This chapter seemed a little choppy to me, but we needed it ;)**

They'd been very careful not to act any different at school until they got the go-ahead from Dr Gold – at Dave's insistence. Sebastian hadn't thought he would have a problem, but he had somehow found himself smiling at Dave for no reason, and he forgot to insult people till too late in conversations.

So Friday was different.

Friday was different because it was the day after Thursday. Friday was different because it was the day after they had officially decided to try. Friday was the day that Sebastian and Dave were going to 'come out'. Sebastian was prepared for the backlash on his part. He knew Spencer would be badmouthing him, and that half the student body hated him, and that a large percentage of the gay guys had either sucked or been fucked by his cock and would have a hard time believing he was off the market. _And who could blame them_, Sebastian thought, if it weren't for the fact that it was _Dave_, it would be a sin to keep him tied down to one guy.

But nothing could stop the happiness he felt when he changed his relationship status on Facebook on Friday morning, and began to hear the whispers of boys outside in the hall as the gossip spread. He ignored them as he went to breakfast, ignored them when they pointed and stared and ignored them when a small, interested band of followers waited near him in the front hall while he waited for Dave to arrive.

Dave arrived with a blank face, then he saw Sebastian and his face lit up in a slow smile. Sebastian knew he was grinning like an idiot, but Dave was just really infectious.

Dave greeted him with a hesitant kiss and followed suit with the ignoring of the bystanders. "This okay?" he whispered.

"You're kissing me, not fucking me," Sebastian rolled his eyes, "I'm okay with it!"

"Good," Dave grinned and kissed him softly again, "Someone changed their relationship status on Facebook!" he teased softly, rolling his eyes at the crowded hallway.

"Yeah, this Dave Martin kid is pretty lucky," Sebastian smiled. Dave Martin was Dave's Facebook alias. His dad had deactivated his old one and his old email address, and they had created his new one so that people couldn't find him.

"Ready?" Dave grinned and held out his hand to Sebastian. He was nervous, but kind of excited too. He'd never had a boyfriend (or a girlfriend) and he'd never thought he would be able to be out and open about his relationships before. Sebastian took his hand with his own shaky breath and together they walked to Literature.

They didn't run into trouble till lunch, which was amazing. They had actually earned a few 'congratulations' and pats on the back throughout the day. It was only at lunch when Spencer could be overheard telling a large table of boys that he'd broken up with Sebastian and Sebastian was only using Dave to try to make him jealous, that Sebastian began to realise his real reputation. People believed Spencer. Even Warblers and kids from Government and Debate. The lacrosse team. They all believed that he was using Dave.

Dave began to get pity. Lots of pity. Colossal amounts of pity. By fifth period he heard someone wonder loudly if Sebastian was only pretending to be his boyfriend so he wouldn't kill himself.

The one kind person was Trent, who told them they looked really cute together and that they should just be happy and ignore all the gossip. He sat with them at lunch and 'aww'ed over how 'adorable' they were, and sighed that he wanted a boyfriend of his own. Dave had _just_ managed to cover Sebastian's mouth to stop him from saying something rude in response.

* * *

><p>Football practice sucked. People were afraid to tackle him and his teammates eyes kept flickering to Sebastian who was sitting in the bleachers, then back to Dave, then passing the ball to someone else.<p>

"It's like they're avoiding me," Dave panted when he ran over to Sebastian for his break. He grabbed his water bottle from his boyfriend and poured some over his head.

"They are," Sebastian said glumly, "They think you stole me from Spencer."

"That's stupid!" Dave exclaimed.

"That's high school," Sebastian corrected, "They don't want to say anything because I'm here and they're scared of me."

"Maybe you should go?" Dave said slowly and Sebastian looked at him like he was ridiculous.

"Sure, I'll just leave you to the entire football team, will I?" he said sarcastically.

"They won't touch me. The coach is here."

"Words," Sebastian reminded him, "People at Dalton get even with words, Dave. No one punches or kicks or hits. They'll just give you death stares and back-handed insults."

"I'll be fine," Dave assured him, and made him leave, promising that he'd make it up to him by taking him out for coffee after practice.

Clark and Avery on the football team were nice guys. They smiled at Dave and started joking with him after break. First they talked about where Dave had come from, then how they might have a chance of winning a game with him on the team, then they moved on.

"Of course the big gossip of the day is you," Clark segued neatly.

"How'd you get Smythe to settle down?" Avery teased, "I wouldn't have thought he'd sit well with the whole sweaty footballer thing."

"That's not true," Clark laughed, "He liked it when Spencer and Mark and him were caught in the locker rooms last year, remember? He was pretty sweaty then!"

Dave just smiled politely at that. He knew Sebastian had a past. Hell, he'd seen and heard both live and recorded accounts of the fact.

"Remember when we walked in on him fucking Harley in the dining hall after hours? He had him bent over the table, just reaming him…"

"- Stop," Dave ordered. He'd noticed Spencer grinning slyly at the pair of them and realised they'd be sent to make him angry. "I don't want to hear that about my boyfriend, okay? I thought you guys were actually kind of nice, not assholes like Spencer."

Dave walked off, throwing his water bottle on the ground and going back to tackle the dummies once more.

"Good, Karofsky! New guy's a hard worker!" Coach Turlington yelled, "Get to it, boys! Break's over!"

Sebastian met him at the end of training, before he went to the showers.

"You okay?" he demanded, glaring at Spencer as he huffed past them.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Dave smiled, "They just tried to psyche me out a bit."

"Who said what?" Sebastian asked coldly.

"Oh, it's fine," Dave smiled, "Nothing you need to hear."

"They were saying stuff about people I've slept with, weren't they?" Sebastian asked, kicking his Italian loafers into the dirt in frustration. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, look at me," Dave pleaded and wrapped his arms around Sebastian, "I love you, okay? Anything that you did was because of what happened to you, and it's all in the past. I love you now and that's what counts."

Clark was walking towards them and seemed to catch the end of their conversation as he helped carry the equipment. He stuck out his hand to Dave and Dave stared at him for a moment before taking his hand off Sebastian to shake it.

"Sorry," Clark said respectfully, "I shouldn't have said what I said. I hope you guys are really happy together."

Sebastian sneered at him, but Dave nodded.

"We are," he smiled, "Who couldn't love that face?" he grinned and Sebastian sneered harder. Clark laughed.

"Ignore Spencer, he's a prat," he said earnestly, "Avery's sorry too, but he's kind of terrified of Sebastian so he'll apologise later, okay?"

Clark smiled and walked off to the showers. Dave turned back to Sebastian.

"What's a prat?" he asked curiously. Sebastian burst out laughing, his scowl gone.

"Come on, _Newbie_, let's go shower. You promised me coffee."

"You're not getting in the shower with me, Seb," Dave smiled.

"Why not? I'm so _dirty_," he whispered into Dave's ear. Dave couldn't help the thrill of arousal that made his skin tingle.

"You're ridiculous," Dave grinned and rummaged in his duffle bag for his keys, "Go wait in the car, please? I'll be there soon." He kissed Sebastian with a grin and ignored Sebastian slapping him on the ass as he walked away.

* * *

><p>"What do you want?" Dave asked him with a shy smile. It hadn't escaped his attention that this was sort of their first date.<p>

"I like my coffee like I like my men. Weak and sweet," Sebastian joked before he realised that that particular joke didn't fit anymore. Dave just smiled at him, almost painfully while he stumbled to recover. "Cappuccino? Regular?" Sebastian asked him uncertainly.

"I guess I want a tall espresso?" Dave winked at him. Sebastian flicked him on the back of the neck gently.

"I'll go get us a table, okay?"

Dave nodded.

Sebastian had been sitting at the table by the window for all of thirty seconds before he noticed Kurt and Blaine. And noticed that they'd noticed him. He whipped out his phone immediately, texting madly as they came to sit with him.

"We need to talk," Kurt said sternly as he sat down.

"What about? Butt plugs? You've certainly got a giant stick up your ass. I assure you, they're much more comfortable," Sebastian retorted, not even looking at him as he typed madly.

**Klaine! #!% ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! **

Blaine sighed loudly and brought Sebastian's attention back to the two of them.

"Don't talk to my boyfriend like that, Sebastian," Blaine warned, "We just wanted to talk to you about Dave… _Nicely_!" Blaine shot Kurt a warning look.

Kurt cleared his throat and fixed Sebastian with his best withering stare.

"Look, I've made no secret of the fact that I don't like you," he began straightforwardly, "You're rude, self-centred and a bully and you have no qualms about sleeping with any guys that you can, single or unattached. But Dave likes you."

"Dave likes me?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow in mock surprise, "I'll have to keep an eye out that he doesn't get the wrong idea then, Kurt! Thanks for the heads up!"

Of course, Dave arrived then, coffees in hand as well as two muffins. He sat down and kissed Sebastian quickly, grinning at Kurt and Blaine.

"You guys heard the news then?" he bounced excitedly, taking a bite of muffin and reaching out to hold Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian gave him a panicked look.

"I – I was just telling them about you getting quarterback," he tried lamely.

"Pfft," Dave snorted, "I meant about _us finally getting together_, stupid. How did you guys not notice? Facebook official as of this morning!" Dave grinned and held out a piece of muffin to Sebastian's open mouth. "Try this, it's amazing!"

Kurt and Blaine fixed them both with stares of incredulity and Sebastian had no choice but to take the muffin, chewing it carefully.

Why should it suddenly matter that Kurt and Blaine knew? Sebastian couldn't make it out. He'd been gossiped about all day, but he hadn't cared. _But_, he reasoned with himself, _they were just guys from school_. He couldn't give a shit what any of them thought… It suddenly dawned on Sebastian that he actually cared about Kurt and Blaine's opinion. He desired their approval.

"I really have no idea what to say," Kurt finally piped up, finding his voice just before Sebastian had a chance to do something crazy like cry and hug them and call them his best friends forever and offer to braid their hair.

"We're really happy," Dave admitted, squeezing Sebastian's hand. "Right?"

"Really happy," Sebastian added. He wasn't sure how much gushing about Dave would be appropriate so he kept his answers low-key.

"When did this happen?" Blaine asked in a cheerful voice that Sebastian could tell was forced to cover pain. Kurt's knuckles were white and his fingers were clenching into Blaine's palm.

"Wednesday night," Dave smiled, "He woke me up to tell me he missed me and loved me, right, Seb?" Dave wriggled his eyebrows cheekily.

"I think you're exaggerating the truth a little," Sebastian said quietly, "But that's what happened, yeah."

"Wait, so you _love_ each other?" Kurt interrupted Dave's laughter. He directed the question to Sebastian. His gaze was intense. There was so much unasked, yet so much would be answered with Sebastian's one response.

"I know I'm not good enough for him," Sebastian actually felt ashamed of himself, "But I _do_ love him, Kurt."

Dave wrapped an arm over his shoulder, "Hey," he said in that way he did whenever Sebastian was upset. "You need to know that I wouldn't pick anyone else. You're not being judged on anyone's scale. Not by me. You're the person I love and that makes you good enough."

Sebastian couldn't help himself from kissing Dave, a little too desperately, lingering a little too long. He pulled away with a breathlessness he only ever felt when he was around Dave and glared at Kurt defiantly, daring him to object.

"Well, I'm happy that you're both happy," Kurt finally smiled, releasing his grip on Blaine's hand. Blaine sighed in relief and shook it, muttering about broken bones to Kurt.

Sebastian turned to Dave while they squabbled about whether it was possible to bruise your metacarpals. He pressed a soft kiss to Dave's lips.

"You didn't check your messages," Sebastian scolded gently as Dave entwined their fingers gently.

"Oh, the one that said, '_Abort! Abort! Abort!_'? That one?" Dave grinned cheekily then smiled more seriously, "I just couldn't wait to show you off."

"I _love_ you," Sebastian said quietly, "You make everything better."

"I love you too," Dave kissed him again. They realised they were being watched intently as Dave pulled away.

"Oh, my God," Kurt's face was becoming a slow grin, "I can't believe how cute you two actually are! I can't believe you _tamed_ Sebastian! I can't believe _you_ make him happy!"

"Should I be insulted?" Sebastian sniffed, irritated.

"Shut up and kiss your boyfriend some more," Kurt grinned.

And for the first time ever, Sebastian grinned back at him in happy friendship and did as Kurt told him to do.

**Awww! Kurt and Sebastian are so alike in some ways, and so different in others. I think that's why they have such great chemistry… AS FRIENDS, RYAN MURPHY. AS FRIENDS. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Firstly: To anyone who doesn't follow me on Tumblr, or missed it, I had a truckload of uni work to do in the last week, which unfortunately needed to come first. I love writing fanfiction, but as it doesn't give me a grade and a degree, I have to do the boring stuff before the fun stuff! Anyway, I apologise for keeping you waiting! Thankyou for being so patient. I see some fic writers get bombarded with abuse for not writing fast enough and thankfully you guys are all just beautiful and encouraging and understanding :D**

**Secondly: I cried writing this… I have cried a total of two times EVER when Ive written anything in my life, so it's a big deal… If you're prone to crying, don't drown…**

**Thirdly: There are references to Sebastian's rape this chapter… It's not full on or descriptive, but more about the language and his mindset afterwards… Be careful when reading please.**

**Finally… some sexy-times… Nothing too graphic.**

**I'll stop blabbing and let you read now! Thankyou for all your reviews and messages, you guys rock :D Hope you like this one!**

* * *

><p><em>Later<em>

**Do you know how to sext?**

_**I understand the basic principles, Seb, but we're taking it slow, remember?**_

* * *

><p><em>Earlier<em>

It was true. They'd agreed that afternoon, with both of them new to relationships and Sebastian's added bonus residual fear and Dave's giant virginity, it wouldn't be sensible.

Well… Dave had decided those things. Sebastian had mainly 'mm-hmm-ed' as he kissed Dave's neck, finding the little yellow bruises that were hidden there and marking them with hickeys, covering the memory of how they had come to be there in the first place. It was only later when Sebastian pressed his groin against Dave's thigh and he gasped raggedly and breathed, "Seb, we promised!" that Sebastian was made aware of what he had agreed to.

- No touching of genitals

- No rubbing together of genitals

- No nudity

- No new activities that weren't discussed beforehand

"There's no fucking way that you actually believed I was listening while you were spouting this shit, Dave!" Sebastian had pouted, "This is like you getting me to _agree_ to things and _sign_ _napkins_ while I'm drunk! My agreement to these conditions doesn't count!"

Dave had grinned wickedly, "On what grounds?"

Dave licked his lips with a wink, knowing full well what he was doing to his boyfriend.

"Fuck you!" Sebastian hissed in frustration and got up angrily. Dave made a whimper of abandonment. "No! Seriously!"

Dave laughed.

"You're mad at me because you were so incredibly turned on by me that you agreed to whatever I said?" Dave giggled, "And to think, you used to think I wasn't hot."

"You're not cute, jackass," Sebastian frowned, "I'm not agreeing to this shit."

Dave's face became serious and he patted the leather couch beside him. It was a miracle that they hadn't been walked in on yet. Sebastian claimed that everyone knew that he had this particular room reserved indefinitely for nefarious activities of the sexual kind, but Dave was still jumpy.

Sebastian tossed himself back onto the couch with an enormous sigh.

"All it really boils down to is that I want us to talk about anything sexual before it happens, okay?" Dave ran a hand nervously up and down his thigh. "You've got a past, I've got a past, and I just don't want us to do anything that might upset each other. Boundaries."

"I've fucked so many…"

Dave pressed a finger to Sebastian's lips, stilling his words. He looked stern and Sebastian suddenly realised that the couch was leather and Dave's arms were strong…

* * *

><p><em>-"Take my cock, baby – God, he's so fucking tight. Take it, baby. Take it."-<em>

* * *

><p>Sebastian's heartbeat sped up, and he knew that it would be a lie to tell himself that it was just because he was horny.<p>

"_Stop saying that_," Dave ordered. "I know that you've had sex with other guys since. But you _haven't_ had sex with _me_. And remember that I look like them. I hate that I look like them, but I do, and I can't really change it unless I stop eating."

"Don't…" Sebastian mumbled through Dave's finger. Dave smiled and took his hand away.

They sat in silence.

Finally Sebastian made a choice and crawled back on top of Dave, seating himself on his lap. He wound his arms around his neck and looked down at him shakily, hating to admit just how anxious it made him feel.

"We'll take it slow," Sebastian said in a matter-of-fact tone, "But it's only going to get better and easier with practice. Believe me. What are you comfortable with right now?"

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Right now? This?" he indicated to Sebastian sitting on his lap, "Maybe a little bit of this…" Dave wriggled a little, then rocked his hips upwards.

* * *

><p><em>-"Fuck, come here. Try his ass, it's great. Hold on, let me finish… Come on, baby, make me cum up your tight ass."-<em>

* * *

><p>Sebastian cried out and clung to Dave's neck, burying his face there, utterly ashamed of the mixture of lust and fear that had overwhelmed him.<p>

"Good or bad?" Dave whispered as he held Sebastian still.

"I don't know!" Sebastian laughed uneasily. "Both."

"You try and see if that's better," Dave instructed.

Sebastian didn't move his hands from their grip on Dave's neck, just swayed his hips down and to the right a little bit. Dave shuddered and bit his lip but he didn't say anything. Sebastian waited to analyse the adrenaline rush. He felt more in control and he stayed present in the room with Dave instead of letting his memories send him to that room three years ago.

"Well?" Dave croaked. Sebastian smiled at how hard Dave was against his thigh.

"Can't be sure," Sebastian smirked, "Might have to try again…"

He rocked forward a little harder, watching Dave's teeth bite down on his lip and his pupils widen. He stayed silent though.

"Not sure," Sebastian grinned and practically humped into Dave. Once. Twice. Three times. Four.

"_Oh-my-god_," Dave breathed, his voice breaking, "You _suck_."

"I _can_ if you want…" Sebastian laughed and kissed him, still moving his hips.

"I thought you were actually upset, you asshole," Dave groaned and closed his eyes in pleasure, "Seb. _Fuck_. Oh, god!"

Sebastian climbed off him and moved onto the floor, dragging Dave by the hand.

"There's a perfectly good couch," Dave protested but Sebastian shushed him.

"No leather," he said simply and Dave nodded in recognition. "I want you on top… Just to see…"

Dave shook his head vehemently, "No, I don't want to freak you out."

"But…"

"No. Not for our first time doing this," Dave insisted and rolled onto his back, "And if you make some crack about me being lazy I'll leave you with your hand for company," he warned.

"Then I demand fly's down."

"No."

"Compromise?" Sebastian offered, "Shirts off?"

"No."

"Ass-grabbing?"

"No."

"I'll give you a hand…"

"No."

They sat in silence looking at each other for several seconds.

"I don't want you to have to take this slow just because I'm fucked up," Sebastian offered eventually.

"I'm taking this slow because I've never done this with anyone before and I'm scared too," Dave corrected him, rubbing his arm comfortingly.

"It's just grinding, Dave… Honestly," Sebastian shook his head with a shy smile.

"Are you blushing?" Dave laughed, "Why?"

"Because I feel like this is special when it's with you…" Sebastian answered and frowned.

"It was never special?" Dave asked quietly, and Sebastian knew he must have been doing a head count of all the guys Sebastian had ever fucked.

"No," Sebastian said honestly. "When I first… _After_… I wanted it to be. I tried to make it special because everyone talks about sex like it's this magical _thing_, you know? And after… I just wanted that memory to go away and I'd have something wonderful to replace it with. I just wanted it to be like that. But it wasn't. It was barely even an orgasm. Then the next guy wasn't special. Or the next guy either and I just kept _fucking_ my way through every _faggot_ I could find in the Ohio State area, just hoping to find _one_… Just _one_…"

Dave sat up to wipe away tears from Sebastian's face. He hadn't even realised he was crying. Huh.

"I gave up looking eventually. I thought it was something I wasn't supposed to have. Maybe because I was gay. Maybe because I was a jerk. So I didn't look anymore. Then there was you," Sebastian smiled through tears and shook his head in incredulity, "You're the _only_ _one_ who's ever made me feel like it _could_ be… Like _I_ could be…"

Dave just stared at him for a few moments, stroking his hair and rocking him gently.

"I am so incredibly glad that I had my second chance," he said brokenly, "Because if I can make you see for even a moment how _incredible_ and _special_ and _worthy_ you are, then my life is so worth it."

Sebastian kissed him hard and felt Dave's fingers tighten their grasp on his shirt. Sebastian lifted himself up on his haunches and crawled towards Dave, pressing him down as he crawled back on top of him.

"You sure?" Dave murmured against Sebastian's lips, "We don't have to do this right now."

"Make me feel special," Sebastian ground his hips into Dave's, "Show me what all the fuss is about."

"I love you," Dave moaned and kissed him again.

Sebastian felt himself growing hard again and the tremors of pleasure that rolled through his stomach made him moan in response.

Their kissing grew sloppy and loud as Sebastian worked his hips. Gradually Dave's began to rock almost involuntarily and instead of pulling away, Sebastian found himself whining out "More," and "Harder." Dave seemed to have lost the ability to question Sebastian and simply followed directions.

Sebastian was used to being able to last. He had a reputation to uphold, and stamina was something he boasted about. So to find himself close to coming after about ten minutes of some fully clothed grinding and making out seemed incredible. Sebastian opened his eyes, his gaze meeting Dave's. Dave smiled at him and Sebastian was overwhelmed with the amount of feeling that was taking place inside his body in that moment. Dave reached out and held his hand, bringing it to his own heart. Then he placed his own over Sebastian's. They were pounding some enthusiastic rhythm; dancing in the euphoria of their love and sex.

"I'm so close," Sebastian bit Dave's lip as if he needed to punish him.

"Me too," Dave managed with Sebastian's teeth attached to his bottom lip. Dave thrust up against Seb and hissed at the way Sebastian retaliated by thrusting against him firmly and biting down on his lip.

"You first," Sebastian hinted and his hips pumped madly.

"You," Dave grinned.

"You."

"_Come in your pants for me_," Dave whispered breathily into Sebastian's mouth.

Sebastian stuttered in shock and the wave of his orgasm overcame him and flooded his brain and his boxers like a tidal wave.

"Ohhh," he ground out in a guttural voice. He could feel Dave shaking beneath him as he watched him and could feel the slight vibration coming from Dave as he came as well.

"I broke you," Dave giggled breathlessly.

"Shh," Sebastian scolded quietly, "You played dirty."

"Your heart is beating so fast," Dave smiled and his thumb rubbed the outline of Sebastian's collarbone through his shirt.

"Yours too." Sebastian could feel Dave's steady heartbeat beneath his palm. He realised that he had practically collapsed on top of Dave. "Sorry, I must be crushing you," he apologised and made to get up.

"Don't you dare move," Dave pulled him back on top of him, "Enjoy this. Bask."

"Bask?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow, "How do you know that word?"

"Gee, thanks," Dave drawled, "I love you too."

Sebastian smiled and kissed him as sweetly as he knew how.

"I am in love," he smiled, "With you."

* * *

><p><em> Later<em>

**I think we blew that all to hell when we blew our loads in our pants this afternoon, right?**

_**Don't do that. It was special.**_

**It was. Thankyou.**

**Don't ever tell anyone I came first… **

_**Why would I be casually talking about your orgasm habits?**_

**To brag, duh. **

_**Right.**_

**So… where did we land on the sexting? **

_**I love you.**_

**Fair enough.**

**Can't blame you.**

**Love you too, Dave. So much.**

_**Aww :D**_

**If you ever show anyone these messages you'll be a dead man.**

* * *

><p><em>Useless Trivia Fact #49 - This chapter contains the first time I have ever written the word 'cum' in a story...<em>


	20. Chapter 20

**What did I write…**

Sebastian grinned ridiculously at the ceiling. He couldn't remember a time that he had ever been this happy. Dave was making him happy again. Of course it was having a negative effect in some ways. Like he found that the Warblers were suddenly a lot more outspoken with new ideas. The debate team suddenly became ballsy enough to challenge him and he came close to losing the last debate, even though he'd never admit it. Billy Warton on the lacrosse team had 'accidentally' clipped Sebastian in the shin.

All these things were happening because Sebastian suddenly felt happier. He didn't snap as often, and to be fair, he was often daydreaming about Dave and missed an easy taunt or two.

But if this was the result, Sebastian didn't mind…

Dave had Sebastian's ankle propped up on three pillows on his bed, massaging it gently and icing it with the bag of peas he'd found in the freezer. Sebastian hadn't expected to find himself in Dave's bed quite so early in the evening, but when Dave had picked him up from training he'd insisted that there was no way Sebastian could go roller blading so he'd opted for movie night and Chinese instead.

Sebastian had gotten a weekend pass from Dalton. He and Dave had decided that he could stay Friday night, go stay at his own place on Saturday and see his dad, then come back to Dave's on Sunday and they could drive to school together Monday morning. It had seemed a pretty ideal plan. Though now, with Sebastian's swollen ankle, a tennis date with his father followed by another one of his father's company dinners seemed out of the question.

"Is it feeling any better, buddy?" Paul asked hesitantly from the doorway, nudging the door open further with his foot in attempted inconspicuousness.

"I think it needs someone to kiss it better," Sebastian drawled, winking at Dave, who blushed and ducked his head, then smiling broadly at Paul, practically challenging him to say something.

"Can you call me when the Chinese gets here?" Dave asked his father pointedly. Paul took the hint and nodded, walking off down the hallway.

"Be nice."

"I was!"

"His son just _came_ _out_ and now he has a _boyfriend_ sleeping over," Dave reminded him, "He's wayyy out of his comfort zone here."

"I'm not even properly sleeping over!" Sebastian pouted, "I've been banished to the spare room!"

"He let you sleep in my bed last time because we were just friend and the spare room was full of laundry and office stuff and you were drunk and caught him by surprise. It won't be a luxury we get again for a while…"

"Friends who made out," Sebastian corrected, "You lied to your father," he smiled devilishly.

"Like you've never lied to yours, Mr-I-Own-A-Secret-Cock-Ring?" Dave grinned.

Paul had an indiscreet coughing fit in the hallway. Dave looked mortified.

"Dad, are you eavesdropping?" he called.

"Not anymore!" Paul shouted back and the boys heard him mutter to himself, "Never again…"

Sebastian couldn't help laughing. Luckily Dave laughed too, and they both clutched at each other and their stomachs until their cheeks hurt and they couldn't breathe.

"You'll definitely be in the guest room now," Dave grinned eventually, eyes sparkling.

"Can you visit me?" Sebastian smiled and Dave massaged his ankle again.

"If I can," Dave promised, ducking his head with a blush. "Come on, let's go wait for the Chinese downstairs. Dad'll be terrified to come back up here after that."

Dave helped Sebastian to his feet and Sebastian found him playing up his limp a bit just so that Dave would wrap his arm around him and help him down the stairs. His ankle _was_ sore, but it wasn't nearly as bad as he was making out. All the attention was pretty nice though.

They made their way into the kitchen and overheard Paul on the phone.

"-_cock ring_! Burt, I need your help here!" he hissed into the phone. He glanced around nervously as if worried he would be caught, then noticed the boys watching him and went pale.

"Oh, urm… Hi, bo-boys!" he stammered.

Burt Hummel laughed raucously from the phone line. He asked Paul something then repeated it when Paul didn't answer.

"Oh, Burt, would you?" He came to and seemed to realise he was being spoken to. "Yeah sure, bring them over. More the merrier, eh?" he laughed nervously.

Dave looked at Sebastian knowingly as his father said his goodbyes with a "See you soon then!"

"Dad, you invited Mr Hummel over?" he accused. Sebastian's eyebrows narrowed but he said nothing.

"He's bringing Kurt and his boyfriend," Paul laughed in a failed attempt at nonchalance. "Should be fun, right? We can… I dunno… watch the game?"

Sebastian turned up his nose. As good-looking as footballers were, he really wasn't interested in football in the slightest. This was going to be a disaster.

* * *

><p>"So, you boys all the same age?" Paul asked nervously, breaking the strange silence that surrounded the gathering in the living room.<p>

"I'm a senior," Kurt said almost glumly, and shot an unhappy look at Blaine, "So I'm graduating this year."

"I should be a senior too," Sebastian added when no one else spoke and he swore he heard a cricket chirp awkwardly, "But I spent a year in France with my family, so I was schooled by this really hot French tutor named Jean-Pierre… We didn't really spend our lessons _studying_," Sebastian smirked. Dave frowned and Sebastian coughed and shot him an apologetic look. "So anyway, I'm a junior like Dave."

"So, Kurt!" Paul changed the subject as if unable to look Sebastian in the eye, "Graduating soon, huh? Pretty exciting! What schools did you apply for?"

Kurt looked at Blaine, who was sitting on the floor and staring at the carpet. Sebastian could see the tension between them. They were fighting. He grinned and purposely snuggled up to Dave, holding his hand and resting his injured ankle on Dave's. Blaine didn't look up. Sebastian was annoyed. He was part of the 'happy, in-love couple' for once, and they weren't letting him rub it in their faces.

"NYADA, AMDA, NYU," Kurt rattled off the well-rehearsed list with a drone.

"I only recognise NYU," Paul laughed nervously, smiling too widely at Burt. Burt smiled back reassuringly.

"They're all musical theatre courses, Paul," he offered, "Kurt's gonna be the next Liza Minelli."

"Liza Minelli is a woman, Dad," Kurt corrected dully, fingering the sleeve of his sequinned blouse, "And I want to be Patti LuPone, not Liza."

Sebastian smirked and opened his mouth to make the easy dig about Kurt wanting to be a woman, but something stopped him. Kurt and Blaine looked dreadful. They weren't sitting all over each other like normal, and they'd barely looked at each other since they walked in. This wasn't a little fight. This was a huge, colossal, break-up scale fight. Sebastian wondered who had cheated. It had to be Blaine because Hummel wasn't exactly pulling suitors.

They ate Chinese and pizza (Paul had ordered it when he'd heard the others were coming over, which had led to an awkward meeting of delivery boys on the front stoop, who obviously thought they were pigs. Sebastian had recognised one of them from Scandals. He didn't acknowledge him, just brought the pizza inside. He wasn't going to have an awkward 'Hey, you're the guy that blew me that night!' encounter) and no one spoke. Sebastian tried to feed Dave some of his pizza, but Dave shook his head vehemently and pushed it away.

"How about we put the game on?" Paul suggested finally with a prompting look from Burt.

The game held no appeal for Sebastian or Kurt either it seemed; but Blaine and Dave turned their attention to the television, Blaine's enjoyment admittedly lacklustre.

Sebastian quickly got bored with the television and let his eyes wander around the room until his gaze fell on Kurt. He looked upset. He caught Sebastian's eye and gave him a strange look at the way his legs were resting on Dave's and his hands wrapped around Dave's torso. Kurt stole a look at Blaine painfully and Sebastian noticed his eyes fall to Blaine's hands then his own.

Sebastian pulled out his phone and typed a message and held the phone so Dave could read it.

Does Kurt look upset to you? I think Blaine might not be putting out…

Dave wrinkled his nose at Sebastian in exasperation at the last bit, but he snuck a peek at the pair of them.

"Hey, guys?" he asked suddenly, startling his father so much he jumped in his seat and clutched at his chest. "Wanna go watch a movie in my room?" Blaine looked suspicious and Kurt looked like he was trying to find any way to avoid it.

"My leg's really hurting me," Sebastian said, winking conspiratorially at Dave, "I could do with some more ice."

"You'd be better with a heat pack and a cold pack and alternating the two," Kurt spoke up immediately and leapt to his feet, scrambling away from Blaine and walking to the kitchen. Sebastian eased himself off Dave and made a show of hobbling to the kitchen. Kurt was filling the kettle, his back to Sebastian. The tap was running noisily, but when Kurt turned it off Sebastian could hear his crying and see his back heaving.

"You… you okay, Fancy?" he asked awkwardly. Kurt spun around with a strange mix of humour and sadness on his face.

"Dave calls me that," he accused with a melancholic smile.

"I know," he smirked, "You got off easy. He calls your boyfriend Fop."

Kurt laughed then his laugh turned to a sob again.

"What's going on? Trouble in paradise?" Sebastian asked gently.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Kurt demanded.

"Because you're sad," Sebastian said simply. "I know what it's like to be sad."

"_You?_" Kurt snorted incredulously, then must have found some truth in Sebastian's eyes, "Maybe you do," he mused softly. "Blaine wants to break up."

"What?" Sebastian frowned, "That's bullshit."

"He thinks I need to be free to go to New York and follow my dream. He doesn't understand that… that _he's_ my dream. God, _listen to me_! I'm pouring my heart out to _Sebastian_! Go ahead, take a shot," Kurt held his arms wide like he was waiting for an execution, "I don't even care."

Sebastian flinched. He moved a little closer to Kurt.

"Hey," he said softly the way Dave always did to him, "Hey, you're okay."

"No I'm not," Kurt shook his head, tears dripping to his chest. "I don't know who I am without Blaine. I don't want to find out."

"You're Kurt Hummel," Sebastian said simply, "cross-dresser, soprano and pain in the ass."

Kurt shot him a look and Sebastian laughed quietly, "You're great, Kurt. You never back down from a fight, you believe in things so passionately and you really care about your friends. He's an idiot if he lets you go. But you need to fight now. Remember how you hated me?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. Sebastian laughed again.

"Okay, you _know_ how you hate me?" he corrected, "It's because you wanted to keep Blaine. You fought, Kurt. So fight now."

"I thought you wanted Blaine?" Kurt wiped his eyes and studied Sebastian curiously, "This would give you your shot."

"I have Dave," Sebastian smiled, "You can keep Blaine."

Kurt smiled at that at least.

**I hate sad Klaine D:**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry this update was slow :( Easter holidays and a chocolate overload doesn't make me a good writer apparently. This is a strange chapter… **

After Kurt, Blaine and Burt (finally!) went home, Sebastian yawned loudly and obviously at Dave. Paul fixed him with a worried look.

"Dave, did you show Sebastian where he'll be sleeping?" he ventured.

Dave nodded uncomfortably. Sebastian pouted.

"You do know I've already slept with him, right?" he muttered grumpily.

"What!" Paul yelped angrily, jumping to his feet and storming towards them. Sebastian hissed and closed his eyes in expectation. He buried his face in Dave's shoulder and let out a shout, "Don't hit me!" Dave's arm came over him protectively and he raised an arm to his dad.

Paul stopped immediately, dumbfounded.

"I wasn't going to hit him," he explained pathetically as Dave ignored him and shushed Sebastian gently. It was really the first time Paul had seen them this close and he looked a little uncomfortable, but Dave only cared about keeping Sebastian from falling apart.

"I'm okay," Sebastian said in a muffled voice from somewhere in the vicinity of Dave's chest. "I overreacted.

"You _both_ did," Dave agreed with a pointed look at his father. "I know you wouldn't have hit him, but what _were_ you going to do?"

"I don't know…" Paul admitted. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'd never lay a hand on you."

Paul gave Dave a quizzical look. There was clearly something he was missing. Something big.

"Can I tell my dad why he made you react like that?" Dave whispered to Sebastian who shook his head vehemently, "How about just a general gist?" Sebastian didn't respond, so Dave took his silence as permission.

"Sebastian was… assaulted," he said haltingly, "And you just reminded him… It's not your fault, just try not to look like you're gonna punch him anymore, okay?"

Paul looked horrified.

"I'm _sorry_," he said sincerely. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Sebastian said, sitting up. Dave kept his hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, I overreacted. And I didn't mean Dave and I have had sex. Just that we slept in the same bed last time I stayed over…"

Paul nodded thoughtfully.

"You weren't together then," he said slowly.

"We kind of were," Dave admitted. "We just hadn't admitted it yet."

"Well, I'm glad you told me about you two," Paul's voice deepened as he grew a little uncomfortable. "But I don't want to encourage you to do anything rash. Sorry, boys. My house, my rules."

Sebastian nodded respectfully and Dave raised his eyebrows in surprise but said nothing.

"I'm kind of tired and my ankle's hurting," Sebastian said dully, "I'm going to go to bed. 'Night."

Sebastian got up slowly and limped towards the stairs. He never looked back at Dave. Dave knew something was seriously wrong. Sebastian hadn't even kissed him goodnight.

Paul looked at him in mild confusion.

"Dad, can I at least go and talk to him?" Dave asked quietly, "You don't understand how messed up he'll be after that."

"David, I don't think its sensible for you to be putting all your energy into this boy. If he's as messed up as you say, then it can't be good for your state of mind. He's not the sort of person…I don't think he's good for you…"

Dave heard the stairs creak and knew immediately that Sebastian had paused to listen. He hoped that he stayed to hear his response.

"Dad, I'm really grateful that you've been so accepting about my being gay," Dave began with a polite smile, "But that doesn't mean that you have any say in who I get to be with. I'm not gay on your terms, I'm gay on my terms. And I'm gay. Whether it's Sebastian or anyone else, I will always like guys. I know that wasn't what you just said, I just wanted to make that clear before I tell you that I'm in love with him. You know how you felt about Mom when you met her in college? Its how I feel about him. I know you and Mom got divorced, and I know that you haven't dated since but you loved her once. You know how it feels. If he needs me half as much as I need him, I'll be there for him."

Dave sighed as he finished his little speech. His father had always been good at listening until he had finished talking.

"Promise me you will keep clothes on and hands above the waist," Paul said cryptically. Dave frowned in confusion. "He can stay with you on those terms. Don't break my trust here."

Dave nodded, trying to contain his smile.

"Thanks, Dad."

"I'm okay with you being gay, David," Paul's voice broke a little. "I don't really know how to act and I know your mother… well… threw a tantrum to be quite honest. But I love you. I wish you had always been able to talk to me about this. You can now, okay? _Anything_. Even if it's awkward and I have to ring Burt Hummel to tell me how to cope, okay? You and Sebastian… He's not the type of person I would pick for you. _Person_, not boy or girl, just _person_. But if you love him like you say then I trust your judgement. Bring him over more. I want to get to know him."

Dave smiled at his dad and got up to hug him.

* * *

><p>"You're staying with me," Dave announced, barging into the spare room. Sebastian sat up in an almighty hurry, obviously startled by the interruption.<p>

"But… your dad…" Sebastian fumbled to understand.

"Said it was okay. No nakedness and hands above the waist, though," Dave clarified at Sebastian's cocked eyebrow. "Better than not sleeping together, right?"

Sebastian nodded fervently and raced towards Dave, kissing him hard, arms thrown haphazardly around his neck (Dave noticed that Sebastian didn't tighten their grip there in his passion) and letting out happy little whines.

"Your dad… he hated me…" Sebastian nuzzled into Dave's neck, kissing it softly.

"I set him straight. You shouldn't eavesdrop unless you're going to stay for the whole conversation," Dave winked and Sebastian pinched him. "OW! Jesus! What was that for?"

"You were being rude," Sebastian said calmly. He smoothed the sheets back down on the bed and grabbed his wallet, phone and backpack, then let himself be dragged to Dave's room.

They settled into Dave's bed and Sebastian found himself unable to look at the aeroplanes.

"Why do you still have those up there?" he asked eventually.

"To remind myself of what I would have missed out on," Dave's answer came sure and calm, like he'd thought about the question himself. "I would have just thought you were some private school jerk and I would have never known what it would be like to do _this_…"

Dave kissed him softly.

"Or _this_…"

He ran a hand to Sebastian's neck, ever-so lightly tracing his throat and then kissing him there.

"Or _this_…" he whispered ominously and suddenly suckled and kissed Sebastian firmly. He cried out and pulled Dave on top of him without even thinking about it. His weight pressing him into the mattress gave him a moment's pause, but then Sebastian thrust his hip upwards, to be met with a grunt and a resounding press of Dave's groin against his own and it wasn't anything worth thinking about any longer.

"I want to touch you," Sebastian breathed haggardly.

Dave shook his head. "My dad…"

"Won't find out…" Sebastian smirked and licked Dave's neck slowly feeling him shudder above him.

"I don't feel good about breaking his trust here," Dave said and Sebastian laughed as Dave made no move to stop.

"Obviously not bad enough to prevent you from sticking your tongue down my throat," Sebastian chuckled.

"Have you _seen_ you?" Dave quipped, "You're _really_ hot…"

"And you love me, right?" Sebastian reminded him as he began work on giving Sebastian's neck a hickey.

"Oh… yeah… that too," Dave mumbled and grinned at Sebastian, kissing him quickly then ducking his head back to lick at Sebastian's thin skin with his tongue.

"Take off your pants," Sebastian ordered, head tipped back to allow Dave access to his throat.

"But… clothes stay on?" Dave protested weakly.

"You know that that's not going to happen so just do it," Sebastian grinned cheekily.

Dave grunted and kissed Sebastian fervently, kneeling over him as he unbuckled his own belt, unzipping his jeans and clumsily sliding them off. His buckle clanged noisily in the silence.

Sebastian could feel his heart pounding madly and although he knew it wasn't entirely out of passion, he opted to ignore the growing feeling of anxiety to instead slip his hand into Dave's boxers.

"Ahh!" Dave let out, surprising himself more than Sebastian, who giggled, actually giggled and let his fingers fumble deeper into the fabric. Sebastian's fingers stuttered as they wrapped around his cock. That brief grinding session in the common room hadn't done Dave justice.

"You're so big," he said slowly, brain freezing.

"Oh fuck, your fingers are amazing," Dave groaned and thrust into Sebastian's hand, letting his weight fall against him as he buried his face into Sebastian's neck and pumped his hips a few times.

"Too much!" Sebastian burst out when the ringing in his ears became screaming and his erection had withered away to nothing. Dave took a few long heart-wrenching seconds to still and roll off him. They lay side by side, both breathing heavily for completely different reasons.

"I'm sorry," they said at the same time, then turned to each other and smiled.

"It wasn't your fault," they said in unison and their smiles turned to grins.

"I love you," they said together and let their grins meet each other in desperate kisses that never seemed enough but had no hope of progressing further.

At least for tonight.

* * *

><p>"I should have made you be on top," Dave berated himself at about three a.m when they woke for a third bout of kissing and light touches.<p>

"Maybe," Sebastian allowed, "But your cock would have been huge from any angle."

"You're complaining that my cock is too big?" Dave grinned in the dark.

"I just heard myself," Sebastian laughed, "I think that's the stupidest thing I've ever said."

"Maybe if I touched you?" Dave ventured slowly, the pads of his fingertips lightly stroking Sebastian's wrist.

"Will you stop if I say?" Sebastian asked needlessly, not even waiting for Dave's nod before stripping off the sweats he was sleeping in, leaving just his briefs.

Dave just stared for a minute or so before Sebastian began to twitch uncomfortably and he kissed his way down Sebastian's stomach. Sebastian shivered as Dave's lips kissed a path through his snail trail. He was peeling down his waistband, eyes constantly glued to Sebastian's to ensure he didn't go too far. His fingers wrapped around the head of Sebastian's cock, moving slowly, then his lips pressed a feather-light kiss to the tip.

"_Never had your cock sucked before, kid?"_

"_Bet you'll remember this won't you baby!"_

"No! No, no!" Sebastian winced at the memory. Dave pulled away immediately.

"Sorry!" he apologised sadly.

"Why are you doing?" Sebastian growled, "Get back there!"

"What?" Dave asked in shock.

Sebastian's fingers were grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pressing his head down till he had no coice but to take Sebastian into his mouth. Sebastian cried out, but Dave didn't know if it was out of fear or enjoyment.

His hips rocked and Dave tried hard to keep from drooling too much as Sebastian hit the back of his throat. Eventually it became too much and he gagged. Sebastian reefed him off by his hair and moaned in annoyance. He held Dave's head firmly in place, tipped back and mouth wide, jerking himself off till he managed to finally come, managing to shoot most of his load into Dave's waiting mouth, only missing a little.

Dave swallowed noisily with a cough and Sebastian stared at him in horror.

"What did I…?" he whispered shaking his head and backing away from Dave. He scrambled around for his pants and shirt, pulling them on frantically.

"Hey…" Dave began slowly as Sebastian grabbed his wallet.

"I have to get out of here," Sebastian said blankly and grabbed his backpack and phone.

"What?" Dave wiped his cheek and Sebastian realised that he was cleaning off his come.

"I shouldn't have… I'm… I have to go!" Sebastian barged out of the door and took the stairs two at a time, ignoring the throb of his ankle.

Sebastian was out the front door before Dave caught up with him.

"Where are you going? It's 3:45 in the morning!"

"Go inside, Dave!" Sebastian shouted.

They stared at each other through the darkness. Sebastian could see Dave crying and knew his own tears were falling in heavy drips down his chin as well.

"Let me know if you're safe?" Dave asked quietly, "Please?"

"I will," Sebastian nodded, "Just go inside and go back to sleep, okay?"

"I'm so…"

"No, I am," Sebastian interrupted, "I can't be around you after that…"

Dave sobbed once then turned around and went back inside, leaving Sebastian in the dark outside his house.

Sebastian pulled out his phone.

"Blaine?" he asked quietly when he answered the phone blearily, "I'm sorry to wake you up, but I need you to come and get me."

**SORRY!**


	22. Chapter 22

**The Fallout… I hope you don't all want to kill me again… (OMG How good was Glee? Funny! Glee hasnt been that funny in ages! Poor Blainers! XD)**

They sat in silence, the purr of Blaine's Chevy's engine the only noise.

"You wanna talk about it?" Blaine offered eventually.

Sebastian ignored him and looked out the window at the streetlights and darkened houses.

"I _did_ get out of my warm bed to sneak out and come and get you in the middle of the night," Blaine said sarcastically, "But I'm glad you don't feel the need to tell me _why_."

"Cute jammy's by the way," Sebastian scoffed, the insult slipping out immediately like a reflex.

Blaine blushed and smoothed the fabric of his silk navy pyjamas.

They drove in silence.

"I did something bad," Sebastian said quietly.

"How bad?" Blaine kept his voice calm.

"Pretty bad," Sebastian clasped his hands together, wringing his fingers.

"Can you tell me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Is Dave okay?"

Sebastian felt his throat close up in shame and terror.

"Can you pull over?" he asked, panicked, "I'm gonna be sick."

Blaine looked at him then swore under his breath. Sebastian didn't know Blaine _knew_ how to swear, but he didn't have time to focus on it because the bile was rising in his throat. Blaine swerved to the side of the road, indicator clicking madly. Sebastian just had time to unclick his seat belt and fumble with the door handle before he was vomiting in the gutter.

He could feel the acid stinging his throat and nose and his eyes were filled with tears that were partially due to the unpleasantness of being sick and partially due to the fact that Blaine was watching him, and mostly due to the fact he'd never been so embarrassed, sorry and ashamed of anything he'd ever done before in his life.

* * *

><p>"<em>-vomited on the way home."<em>

Sebastian was curled up on the lounge. He'd cried for about half an hour before passing out in exhaustion. Blaine had shushed him gently and brought him water.

"_He wouldn't tell me. Do you think they broke up?"_

Sebastian was dreaming. He was certain. His dreams revolved around a mixture of Dave looking at him in fear as he held him down and overpowered him, then the dream would change so Dave was laughing at him cruelly and fucking him without pause for Sebastian's screams.

"_He said what? When?... You told him. Why would you tell him that?"_

Sebastian whimpered in his sleep as Dream-Dave sucked him off, choking and crying as Sebastian held his face.

"_I wasn't trying to hurt you, Kurt. I just don't want you to be held back by some high school boyfriend… I love you too, you know that… I don't know. I don't want to break up, I just don't want… Okay! Yes, you've convinced me, dummy! You're stuck with me... Yeah. Call him."_

"No, no, no…" Sebastian cried as Dream-Dave took control again.

"_He'll be worried. Whatever happened was pretty bad. He's still crying in his sleep… Strangely vulnerable actually… No, I'm not taking photos! I thought you said he was nice to you tonight! … True, but my eye is fine now!"_

Sebastian heard the laughter and focused on the words, letting himself be dragged back to consciousness. He sat up and looked at Blaine who was sitting on the kitchen bench, holding his phone to his ear and obviously talking to Kurt. Their eyes met.

"Can you call me back once you've talked to him, baby? He just woke up."

Blaine hung up the phone.

"How are you feeling?"

Sebastian rolled over and buried his face in the arm of the couch, closing his eyes tightly. He pretended to go back to sleep. Blaine eventually slid off the countertop and turned off the kitchen light, the pink light of Sebastian's eyelids being plunged into complete darkness.

"I'm your friend, Sebastian," he said quietly, "When you're ready to talk, I'll help you."

Sebastian heard Blaine's quiet footsteps go up the stairs and heard a muffled door close and the distinctive sound of bedsprings creaking as he got into bed.

Sebastian got up and followed him.

He knocked lightly on Blaine's door and walked in. Blaine watched him, then smiled lightly.

Sebastian walked towards him and crawled under the covers beside him. He tried to muffle the sound of his tears, but eventually they became sobs and Blaine was spooning in behind him comfortingly holding him while he fell apart.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?" Dave's voice was breaking from crying.<p>

"_Are you okay?"_ Kurt's voice asked from the phone line. "_Sebastian's sleeping on Blaine's couch_."

"Are you with him?" Dave sat up in his bed like a shot.

"_No, Blaine called me_," Kurt said sadly, "_He said he was pretty messed up. What happened?"_

"I can't tell you," Dave said in frustration, "I have to talk to Seb!"

"_Did he move to fast for you? Did he pressure you?"_

"No! Well… _Kind of_… But it wasn't his fault!"

"_That asshole…_" Kurt swore furiously, "_Are you okay?_"

"No! I'm fine! Kurt, you don't understand! It's not what you think!"

"_Well, what is it then?"_ Kurt demanded.

"Screw this, I'm going to Blaine's," Dave sighed exasperatedly. "Give me his address."

"_I'll come pick you up."_

"I won't tell you anything, Kurt. It's private between Seb and me. It's up to Seb if he wants people to know."

"_Just let me drive you. I wouldn't be averse to seeing Blaine either. We had a bit of a fight before and making up on the phone is annoying. I want to get the kiss part of the kiss-and-make-up_."

"Lucky you," Dave huffed in annoyance.

"_Sorry_," Kurt apologised. "_If it's any consolation, Sebastian seemed pretty crazy about you at your house tonight…_"

"He loves me. I know that. I just hope it's enough, Kurt…"

* * *

><p>Dave hung up from Kurt's call and gathered some clothes. He dressed quickly, not bothering to wear anything particularly dressy. He headed downstairs and left a note for his dad so that he wouldn't panic when the boys weren't there in the morning.<p>

_Dad,_

_Went out early with Sebastian to get breakfast. Might drop him at his dad's house afterwards. Should be back by lunch._

_Love you_

_Dave_

Dave always signed notes to his father with 'Love you' now. He felt sappy but there was a part of him that was always saying "What if?" and he couldn't take the chance. Not after what he'd done.

He waited for Kurt on the doorstep, unable to think of anything but Sebastian. He understood Sebastian's reaction. Something had obviously triggered him to want to take control, and Dave had seen how he was with other guys. He'd seen that store teller getting his mouth fucked. Sebastian had gone into survival mode and Dave hadn't had the sense to stop him. Truth was, he'd kind of enjoyed it, overwhelming as it had been. For the most part anyway. Gagging hadn't been particularly fun, but knowing that Sebastian needed him that desperately; helping him and being there for him in whatever way he needed, completely submitting; that was strangely enticing. Dave liked giving orders to teammates and he'd spent so much time bullying that he'd assumed he liked being in charge. But the truth was, it was kind of nice to know that someone else had the reins; that he didn't have to worry about responsibility, just be there and obey.

Unfortunately, although Sebastian needed the control, he had none of the responsibility for his actions when he was like this, and that was how they ended up in this mess. Dave should have listened to his dad. No nakedness and hands above the waist and they could have avoided the whole thing…

* * *

><p>Kurt pulled up in Blaine's driveway and hopped out, carefully shutting his door so it didn't slam. Dave followed suit. He texted Blaine from his phone and got an answering message straight back.<p>

"It's open," he told Dave and indicated to the front door, "Let's go… quietly!"

Dave was still sort of dazed and his whole body was tingling with tiredness and grief. He followed Kurt carefully through Blaine's house, briefly noticing some photos of Blaine and an older boy on the walls. Kurt opened a door on the left and walked right in. Blaine and Sebastian were in Blaine's bed, Sebastian curled up in a ball, a hand in his hair and his eyes exceptionally red. Blaine was sort of curled behind him like he'd been spooning him.

Kurt gave Blaine a dirty look and he shuffled a few inches away from Sebastian's sleeping form.

"How long has he been asleep?" Dave whispered, coming to sit on the bed beside him.

"'Bout an hour," Blaine murmured, "I don't think he wanted to be alone… Nothing happened, obviously." Blaine looked defiant, as if Dave would accuse him of making a move on Sebastian.

Dave ran a hand over Sebastian's hair.

"Thank you for looking after him," he said sincerely.

Kurt crawled into bed next to Blaine on the right and kissed him. Dave felt a little uncomfortable, but realised that he probably made them feel the same way when he kissed Dave around them. He climbed under the covers beside Sebastian, curling on his left side to face him and watch him sleeping.

Sebastian shuffled closer to him with a little sigh but jerked awake when he came into contact with Dave's chest.

His eyes were wide and he looked ready to bolt as he stared at Dave wordlessly. He turned and saw Kurt and Blaine curled up together behind him and rolled back to Dave.

"It's okay," Dave said quietly, "I don't want you to be upset about… what happened."

Sebastian shook his head and opened his mouth to speak.

"Dave's been pretty worried about you, Sebastian," Kurt piped up from the other side of the bed.

Sebastian coughed and cleared his throat.

"This is not how I pictured the four of us sharing a bed, just so you all know," he drawled.

Dave grinned at him and wriggled closer.

"We okay?" he whispered with a small hopeful smile.

"We need to talk," Sebastian told him seriously, "Without Tweedlegay and Tweedlegayer listening in."

Dave narrowed his eyes in concern.

"Sleep first," Blaine suggested forcefully and everyone seemed to agree.

Dave took comfort in the fact that Sebastian still nestled close to him and rested a hand on his waist. But he could help but lie awake as the others slept, worrying that this might be the end.

**Death threats to my Tumblr ask if you're that way inclined… At least that way I can publicly laugh at your fear and trepidation :D**


	23. Chapter 23

**IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED IN ANY WAY BY DEPICTIONS OF GRAPHIC SEXUAL ASSULT, PLEASE DO NOT READ PAST THE MARKED SECTION.**

**Sebastian and Dave are going to have a little talk, and while it's very good for them to finally be on the same page and for Dave to know everything, it might not be good for you. I've made it easy to skip over and you'll obviously be told where the exit and re-entry point is. Take it at your own risk, but please don't force yourself to read it. We know Sebastian was raped, it's just told from his point of view and a little graphic. Also its long... like... Jesus Christ I can ramble on...**

**In other news, I love you guys :) You make me so happy with your death threats and keyboard smashes! We're almost at 600 reviews! AHHH!**

**Seriously… Don't read it if you aren't comfortable, okay?**

* * *

><p>Dave woke to the sound of whispered conversation.<p>

"You can't say '_it was nothing'_ like that! You were catatonic!" Kurt hissed and Dave opened his eyes to see the three of them sitting on the bed with mugs of coffee.

"Dave's the only one I need to explain myself to," Sebastian said, taking a bite of his toast calmly.

"I think Blaine would appreciate being told why he had to wake up in the middle of the night to go and fetch a crying, vomiting houseguest!"

"Dave's awake," Blaine pointed out, "Sleep well?"

Dave wriggled to sit up and lean against the headboard. He noticed a Dalton tie tied tightly to the corner post of the bed and jerked away from the headboard immediately.

"Your sheets are clean, right?" he groaned. Sebastian laughed.

Dave's face lit up at the sound. Sebastian was laughing! It was going to be okay, he was sure of it.

"You're the best," Sebastian smiled in enjoyment, then seemed to remember what had happened and his face turned serious and he looked away.

"How about we leave you two alone for a little while?" Blaine suggested, holding a hand over Kurt's mouth to silence his protests. "We'll be downstairs. Just come and let us know if either of you want to leave because you don't have a car here… And don't break anything or yell too loud, okay?"

"We won't yell," Dave said intensely, never taking his eyes from Sebastian who was biting his lip and had abandoned his toast back to it's plate.

Kurt huffed loudly as he got up but everyone ignored him and Blaine shut the door quietly with a _click_ and a small, reassuring smile. Dave watched Sebastian look out the window and trace patterns on Blaine's bed sheets and swirl his cooling coffee. He did anything but look at Dave.

"Talk to me," Dave pleaded after about three or four minutes of silence and avoidance.

Sebastian finally turned to look at him, his eyes squinting like he was in pain; like something was giving him a headache or stabbing him in the heart.

"I can't be with you," he croaked out and Dave fell back against the headboard. "I don't want to ever feel like this again. I want to break up."

Dave crawled towards him, eyes pleading and heart breaking all over his sleeve.

"I love you," he reminded him, "Seb, I _love_ you!"

Sebastian's eyes stayed dry but Dave thought it might have been from an excess of tears the day before because his eyes were red and his breaths were little sobs and he was visibly shaking.

"I love you too," he admitted with a breaking voice. "But I hurt you and I forced you and I don't ever want to be able to do that again so I have to stay away from you. It's either me being terrified of you or you being terrified of me and it _shouldn't be_ this hard! _Fuck_! It shouldn't be this _hard_, Dave!"

"So you just want to give up?" Dave retorted, suddenly cross with him, "What about all that talk about twenty years from now? If you give up all the time, do you know where you'll be in twenty years? In some stranger's bed, all alone, hating your life and hiding from your fear."

"That's not true!" Sebastian flared up in retaliation.

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it's not! I'm not scared of other guys! _Just you_!"

Sebastian's words hung in the air like a gunshot and he closed his eyes, wishing that he could call them back to his lips.

"I didn't mean that," he said softly.

"Yes, you did," Dave told him fiercely. "But I hope you really understand that you're making a mistake. You want to try dating _Spencer_ again? The sex will probably be achievable but in twenty years it might be _you_ hanging from that ceiling instead of me!"

Dave sobbed harshly, wiping at his tears furiously. Sebastian reached out to him painfully and Dave didn't push him away.

"_I_ shouldn't have said _that_," he smiled ruefully.

"No, you shouldn't have," Sebastian agreed and Dave felt his fingertips gently stroking the edge of his collar.

"We're not breaking up, are we?" Dave asked quietly.

"No," Sebastian said sadly, "Even though we probably should."

"No, we shouldn't."

Sebastian smiled at him but didn't speak. He still looked guilty.

"I want you to tell me about that night," Dave said softly and Sebastian pulled away in horror. "I think it might help me to understand just what might trigger you and how slow we should take certain things. Right now all I know is that there were three of them, you were drunk and not to call you 'baby'. It's vague and it's causing trouble."

"I can't tell you about that," Sebastian was really crying all of a sudden, as if his tear-ducts had kicked back into gear, "You won't want to be with me anymore!"

"I will always want to be with you," Dave told him earnestly and smoothed his hair back as he crawled back up the bed to lay in a ball. His coffee and toast sat abandoned on the bedside table.

"It's bad," Sebastian whispered and hid his face, "It's really bad. You'll wonder why I didn't stop it or why I didn't yell, or tell anyone later…"

"What happened to you was not your fault," Dave said firmly, thanking Dr Gold silently in his head for a session where they had just talked about the sorts of things Sebastian might need to hear. "It was a bad thing that someone did to you. You didn't cause it. You were too young to know how to deal with it, Seb. And you need to tell me, even if you don't tell anyone else. I want to just listen. I won't even talk."

Sebastian's sobs into Blaine's bed eased eventually and he struggled to sit up, but he wore a determined face and Dave readied himself to hear some horrible things.

"There was a big case at my dad's firm. Someone got a big payout or didn't get sent to prison, I don't remember. I just know that he fought with my mom. He told her that she should have me for the weekend because he had this big party, and she told him that it wasn't her weekend and she wouldn't take me. Anyway, I ended up at the firm at the party. Dad told me that I could have some champagne if I liked as long as I didn't throw up or tell my mother. I'd drunk before but only at weddings and stuff. It went to my head."

Dave rubbed small circles over Sebastian's shoulder blades as he took a deep breath.

"There were a few interns and paralegals at the party. Different departments, but I'd met one of them at the Christmas dinner. They were all young guys in their mid-twenties I guess. Funny thing was, Dave, I thought they were pretty hot. I liked how strong and manly looking they all were. Ironic, huh? They saw me drinking and we hit it off. They started making me drinks from the liquor table and bringing them back to me. It was a game… I _liked_ them, Dave. I _liked_ them!"

Dave soothed his back but kept his word and stayed silent. Sebastian steeled himself to continue.

"Anyway, they stole a bottle of vodka and we all headed to the conference room on the floor down. My stepmother was my dad's secretary then, and he'd taken her into his office to "give her a bonus"," Sebastian sneered and made a crude motion with his hands, "So no one was looking for me. I wasn't wild, Dave. I liked to have fun but I didn't do anything most kids don't try… I fingered a girl at a party once and quickly realised that wasn't for me when I was more turned on by the thought of her brother accidentally catching us. I kissed a couple of boys at the next party playing spin the bottle and I got a boyfriend about three months later. It wasn't an 'out and proud' sort of a thing, but people knew. We got each other off with our hands, but I never actually _saw_ it. We broke up when he decided that he couldn't be out because his family wouldn't approve. We were only fourteen and I had been more excited about the sex than him so I wasn't heartbroken."

Dave was squirming a bit to think of Sebastian learning all that with another boy, the way he was learning with Sebastian now. He didn't say anything though. It was about to get a lot worse.

* * *

><p><strong>[HERE IS THE OBVIOUS EXIT POINT.]<strong>

* * *

><p>Sebastian didn't know how he was even talking. He seemed to have opened some sort of floodgate and he knew that if he stopped talking he'd probably lose the will to start again so he ploughed on.<p>

"We played truth or dare. They learnt about Jennifer – that was the girl, and Greg - that was the boyfriend, and one of them somehow got dared to give me my first blowjob. I think his name was Brian. He sort of crossed a line I guess, but I didn't really notice at the time. I was drunk, Dave," Sebastian's voice turned pleading, "If I'd said no then it might have been different. I kind of enjoyed it. I was hard. I was in shock more than anything. Then a couple more turns went by and other guys had sucked each other by this stage as well. A few of them got up to leave. When it was just the three of them there one of them got dared to fuck my mouth."

Dave hissed a little but Sebastian ignored him.

"I didn't know what to do. I'd never sucked a cock before - and I haven't since by the way…" Sebastian threw the information away a little haphazardly as if it was a side note but Dave pocketed it carefully, understanding that Sebastian probably wouldn't be reciprocating blow jobs if they got that far again.

"He didn't go easy on me. He was huge, or he was to a fourteen year old who'd never seen another cock, anyway; and I kept gagging. I tried to make it good. I tried to _please_ him," Sebastian looked disgusted, "But while he was keeping me busy the other two started to strip me. There was a dry finger… I don't know if you've ever fingered yourself but that should _not_ be attempted without lube or spit or moisturiser or _shampoo_ or whatever the hell you like, just not _dry_! One of them must have actually been gay or bi because he seemed to know that so he got them to spit on their finger and it didn't hurt as much. He only used one finger though. _One_. They _knew_ I was a virgin and I was starting to scream a bit when the other guy pulled his cock out of my mouth long enough, but they still only used _one_ finger."

Sebastian said that with a strangely accusatory air; as if _that_ were the crime. He seemed like he could forgive them almost everything else except the fact that they hadn't prepared him properly before they'd raped him repeatedly against his will.

"They made me suck the guy who fucked me first. I didn't know what they were going to do or I probably would have drooled more."

Dave thought that if Sebastian had known what they were going to do, he probably would have bitten the guy's dick.

"The guy just pressed straight in. It hurt like hell and I was screaming but they made me suck the other one's cock so I had to shut up. He didn't give me any time, just reamed into me like I was a blow up doll or something… He… tore me a bit… Well, I think it was him. They all fucked me. He fucked me till he came, then the next one got a turn, then the last one. None of them wore a condom and I was bleeding and sore and their come was everywhere. I gave up screaming after the first guy. My throat hurt enough after all the gagging and it was obvious I wasn't going anywhere. I just took it. They all called me 'baby' and told me what a good fuck I was. When it was over they even found a cloth and cleaned the leather lounge off. One of them noticed I was bleeding and found me some toilet paper. They never acted like they'd done anything wrong. They just handed me this wad of tissue and said "Thanks, kid!" and walked out."

* * *

><p><strong>[YOU CAN PICK UP FROM HERE FAIRLY SAFELY NOW]<strong>

* * *

><p>Dave felt a monstrous wave of protectiveness for fourteen-year-old Sebastian and held up his hands in a way that asked permission to hug him.<p>

"Not yet," Sebastian shook his head, "Sorry." He smiled bitterly.

"After that I've told you what I was like. I tried to find a guy who would love me at first. Love _had_ to be real, it was something I'd heard forever. I tried Alex Martin who collected stamps," Sebastian raised an eyebrow, "But when I eventually talked him into letting me fuck him, he came, rolled over and went to sleep. I knew he wasn't the one so I left. Then there was Matthew Tait. His family lived down the road. He was just horny. At least the sex was good. He would sneak out in the middle of the night and come to me, begging for me to fuck him. But then I found out he was getting fucked by a few guys and I kept looking. I came back once I realised I wasn't going to find what I was looking for. I probably slept with about fifteen guys before my sixteenth birthday?" Sebastian looked a little upset with himself that he didn't know.

"Then my mother moved to Paris. She remarried to race Dad and Holly – the secretary? She and Dad got married in Paris after Mom married Adrien. But that was when the whole custody thing happened. Mom claimed Dad was a bad parent because he let me sleep around and she should have custody and Dad said that she had been the one to move so _he_ should get custody. It got messy, but we all ended up living there for a year. Dad found a job as part of a Parisian firm that worked with his company in the states. There were French guys. I can't _tell_ you how many, I don't know," Sebastian said honestly, "But I figured that I was in the city of love, I was sure to find someone to make me feel it there. I didn't. Mom broke up with Adrien and decided to move back to Chicago where she grew up, and then there was no reason to stay in Paris. Mom didn't want me by then. I'd screwed too many of her friend's sons. So Dad told me I was going to have to knuckle under and sent me to Dalton, otherwise known as gay-boy heaven. And you know the rest."

Sebastian threw himself down on his back and stared at Blaine's ceiling. Dave gently moved to lay beside him.

"Thank you," he said softly, "For trusting me with that."

"I'd never tell anyone else," Sebastian said, voice somehow calmer.

"Are you okay?" Dave pressed gently.

Sebastian nodded. He turned to Dave with a little smile and laid a hand on his cheek softly as if he might break or run.

"I think I am, yeah."

* * *

><p>"Everything okay now?" Blaine asked gently as they headed back down the stairs together. Dave nodded and Sebastian smiled, albeit nervously.<p>

"Now, you owe us an explanation!" Kurt burst out, "You need to tell us!"

"Should have come on their sheets," Sebastian muttered.

"Did you guys have sex in my bed?" Blaine demanded, horrified, "That's disgusting, guys!"

"You tied Kurt to the headboard lately?" Dave shot back, avoiding the topic. Sebastian shot him a grateful look.

"No," Blaine blushed and ducked his head.

"Kurt ties _him_ to the headboard, Dave," Sebastian said calmly. "Blaine's the bottom, remember?"

"_Remember_? You routinely discuss my sexual preferences?" Blaine shrieked and Kurt glared at Sebastian.

"We want to leave now," Sebastian said curtly.

"I'll drive you," Kurt sighed, kissing Blaine who was fuming. "I have to get a change of clothes anyway."

"None of Blaine's fit in the leg?" Sebastian quipped with a grin that didn't quite meet his eyes. He looked a little manic to Dave but Dave didn't know why.

"You're riding in the back," Kurt ordered him, waving a finger in his face and advancing on him. "You will shut up about Blaine's height, our sex life or anything else to do with us that is none of your business. You will be apologetic and thankful. Got it?"

Kurt probably didn't notice the way Sebastian's knuckles turned white as he pressed his fingernails into his own palm. Kurt probably only noticed the way Sebastian laughed easily and winked. Kurt wouldn't have picked up on the way Sebastian's hand ran through his hair in that way he did when he was anxious or nervous. Dave did. He wondered intensely just how long Sebastian had been able to cover up his fear. With Kurt it wasn't too bad because his build was slight and he was outspokenly anti-violence. He was in a relationship. He was really no threat. Some part of Sebastian felt safe enough to laugh and keep his cover, while the other part of Sebastian; the part that constantly reminded him that Kurt was a top and knew that Kurt was passionate and got angry; that was the part that was digging his short nails into his palm.

Dave reached out for his hand as they carried his bag and jacket to Kurt's car. He could feel the indents from his nails in his skin. Sebastian knew that he knew but did nothing but give him a look as he pressed a kiss to his palm. He stretched a hand behind the seat to hold Sebastian's all the way back to his house.

* * *

><p>When Kurt dropped them off, they transferred Sebastian's bag to Dave's car, not even bothering to go inside.<p>

"You'll be alright at your Dad's?" Dave asked as he drove. The silence was calm and comfortable after the catharsis of the morning.

"I want you to meet him," Sebastian said abruptly.

Dave almost swerved off the road. Sebastian frowned at him.

"Cat," he made up. "Are you sure?"

Sebastian stared forwards.

"Yes. I want you to meet him."

"Okay," Dave smiled shakily, "Anything for you."

**Okay, I hope to god I haven't upset anyone… Tried to make it really clear! How'd we like our angst?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi everyone! Sorry about the wait for this one… We had a bit of drama with my brother's friend and he's basically come to live with us for the time being… Between that and school work I haven't had enough time to focus this week! This chapter is fun :) I included a CLUE for those people who are clever. Don't SPOIL the clue on Tumblr please… But please feel free to leave vague screaming at me in my ask :P I respond well to "YOU FUCKING BITCH" and "YOU'RE RUING MY LIFE, YOU SLUT". Great things to be told! :D**

* * *

><p>"Hello, Sir," Dave said shakily. "Hi, Mr Smythe. Hey, I'm Dave. Mr Smythe, I'm David Karofsky. Great to meet you. I see where your son gets his good looks… No… That's inappropriate…"<p>

Sebastian watched him with an incredulous laugh as he shook hands with mid-air on Sebastian's impressive doorstep.

"He'll probably just shake your hand and go back to work… That's what he does to me."

"Your dad shakes your hand?"

"We're not big on affection… But yeah, please don't say that you see where I get my good looks…"

"I'm nervous!"

"Why? It's not a big deal." Sebastian shrugged.

"Not a big deal? It's your _dad_! I want him to like me!"

Sebastian considered Dave carefully as he fell just a little more.

"I love you," he smiled, "And I don't want you to be disappointed. He's not crazy about me being gay, Dave… He accepts it and he makes me go for a monthly sexual health check. But I don't think he's going to exactly say 'Dave, welcome to my home and tell me all about yourself, I never thought Sebastian would settle down'."

Dave looked sad for Sebastian and nodded.

Just then the door opened.

"Are you two going to come in? You must be Dave?" Robert Smythe extended a hand to shake a speechless Dave's and clapped him on the back. "Welcome! Come on in and tell me about yourself!" He laughed and beamed at the pair of them holding hands and walked into the hall looking over his shoulder at them. "I never thought Sebastian would settle down!" he called jovially.

Sebastian stood frozen on the doorstep.

"Who _was_ that?" he said incredulously… "Tread carefully… Something's up…"

Dave grinned happily.

"He likes me," he grinned and followed Sebastian's father into the living room, tugging Sebastian with him.

"He must be high…" Sebastian muttered under his breath, "It's the only possible explanation."

"I'm trying really hard not to be insulted, Seb," Dave teased, "Come on, it's going to be fine. Relax!"

Dave and Sebastian edged to the couch and sat down opposite Robert who was beaming widely at the pair of them.

"Holly's just getting some snacks, boys," he smiled.

"Snacks? You left her unsupervised in the kitchen? There's knives and hot things in there!" Sebastian drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Behave, Sebastian," Robert laughed, but Dave noticed a stern quality to his voice that he could easily picture as the disapproving father Sebastian had described. "So, Dave! Sebastian hasn't told me much about you. Surprising, considering he's never had a relationship that's lasted longer than a song before. I figured there must have been something wrong with you, but you seem to have all your limbs… Bad personality?" Robert grinned easily and took a sip of his iced tea.

"Not as abrasive as Seb's," Dave joked and Robert laughed.

"I like you, Dave!"

"Dave?" a squeal came from the kitchen, "Davey's here?"

Sebastian hummed happily and muttered "_Davey_."

"That's my wife, Holly," Robert explained, "She's been very excited ever since Sebastian told us you'd be coming."

"I called from the _car_," Sebastian rolled his eyes.

Holly appeared with a tray of cookies and lemonade. She was wearing an enormous grin… and the tiniest yellow bikini Dave had ever seen.

"Hello, Davey!" she purred, putting the tray on the coffee table, "Come here and give me a hug!"

Sebastian's eyes narrowed as Dave stood awkwardly to let Holly press close to him and reach up to wrap her arms around his neck. Sebastian looked at his father who was peering at Dave, face straight, more suspicious and accusing than happy.

"Oh, he's so big and manly!" Holly exclaimed in a dither, pulling away to fan herself with her hands, her breasts bounced a little with the movement. Robert's smile was abruptly back on his face as Dave stumbled over his feet in the small space between the couch and the coffee table, sitting down hard.

Holly made a show of leaning over to offer them a cookie. Sebastian huffed. He understood the nice act now. No reason he couldn't have fun with it though…

"Yeah, Dave plays football," he exclaimed in the most smitten voice he could muster, "He's the quarterback!" He shuffled towards Dave on the lounge and cuddled up to him.

Dave smiled in embarrassment.

"He only just came out before I met him, but he's totally swept me off my feet! Last year when I met him he was dating this girl from McKinley… crazy, right? That he could go from liking girls to loving me?"

Dave stiffened.

"What the hell are you doing?" he hissed under his breath.

"Did you notice Holly's boob job, Dave?" Sebastian asked, practically bouncing on the couch and everyone in the room suddenly knew what was happening. "Aren't they great? And she can barely find anything to fit them!"

Sebastian glared at his father and Holly. Holly at least had the decency to look ashamed, but his father met his glare with a cold, lawyer, poker face.

"I really wanted you to meet Dave," Sebastian bit out, hurt. "He's important to me, and I thought that maybe my father might be happy for me! Dave is gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay! And anyway, Holly's boobs are so obviously fake that that move wouldn't have even worked on a straight guy!"

"Hey!"

"You're twenty-seven and you're tiny and have never had kids! It's not feasible that your boobs are E-cups!"

"I'm twenty-_six_!"

"Jesus…" Sebastian muttered. "Dave, let's go, okay? I'm sorry I even asked you to come here."

Robert stayed silent and seated. Holly had her nose pointed at the air and arms folded over her impressive bosom. Sebastian scoffed loudly and got up to walk out. Dave looked at them incredulously as they watched him walk away.

"Why did you do that?" Dave asked, and Sebastian whirled around at the sound of his voice, "Sebastian feels like he isn't close to you, like no-one cares about him. He's so unsure about how it feels to have someone care about him that its affected our relationship! I love your son. I'm gay and I love your son. I just wish you did."

Dave stood up and left the living room, meeting Sebastian in the doorway where he was gaping at him, open-mouthed.

"I love you," Dave said and brushed his hair back reassuringly.

Sebastian felt his heart swell up with pure, impressive love for Dave. He wasn't just kind and comforting and careful… he was a total badass. He was… _there_; there to stand up for Sebastian, to protect him, to right wrongs. Sebastian had been alone for so long he didn't know what it was like to not have to be the cold, sarcastic person he'd become. He didn't need to be unpleasant to be tough anymore. He had Dave. They could do it together.

Sebastian yanked Dave to him and kissed him in exactly the kind of way that would make most people uncomfortable when being witnessed by their parents. Contrarily, Sebastian kissed Dave hard, pressing the length of his body against him and slamming him into the doorway with a needy grunt.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Robert called out, "You don't need to _consummate_ the relationship in the doorway. I believe you two are really together!"

Sebastian didn't stop kissing Dave.

"Okay! Stop!"

Sebastian began to grind on Dave rebelliously. Dave, to his credit, didn't encourage Sebastian but took it.

"You're making this very uncomfortable, Sebastian," Robert huffed. Sebastian broke away, whirling on him.

"Well you made _us_ uncomfortable! We came to spend time with you so that you could meet Dave! Not so we could have our relationship and Dave's sexuality questioned!"

"Come in, sit down and we'll start over," Robert suggested easily, still sitting in his chair, leaning back comfortably.

Dave peered at Sebastian, arms still wound around his waist.

"Do you want to stay?" he asked Sebastian in a low voice, "I don't mind."

Sebastian nodded and flounced back to the couch. Dave followed suit. The room was much more uncomfortable than the first time they had walked in.

"Dave, I apologise," Robert said stiffly, "But you have to understand that Sebastian's past relationships have been… How shall I put this delicately? _Prolific and short-lived_. You're the first person he's ever felt the desire to introduce as his boyfriend and Sebastian plays games. I had to be certain."

"You can _be_ certain," Dave said almost-fiercely. "I love your son. I'm not going anywhere."

Sebastian reached across to hold Dave's hand tightly, eyes a little too bright as he graced him with one of those rare genuine smiles.

Robert actually smiled then, and Dave could tell the difference between the sincere one he wore now and the fake one from earlier. He really could see Sebastian when his father smiled. Sure the guy wore horn-rimmed glasses and was grey-haired too early for his age, but he and Sebastian looked so alike when they let down their guards to smile.

"Let's forget about this little mishap, alright?" Robert suggested and offered the boys a cookie with the wave of a hand. "Tell me about yourself, Dave."

Dave squirmed nervously but Sebastian squeezed his hand, and suddenly he knew he could pull off anything for Sebastian.

"Well, like Sebastian said, I play football. I got quarterback on the Dalton team, even though we apparently don't see much action in the finals. People said we're usually out in the first round. That's okay though. I really wanted quarterback because I want to be a sports agent and managing the team plays and things like that is good training and looks good on a resume."

Robert raised his eyebrows in surprise at Dave.

"You've got a good head on your shoulders! I sort of assumed you'd be the type to knuckle under to want to put up with Sebastian. That's good!"

Sebastian didn't act like his father had said anything hurtful or surprising, but Dave knew he was probably thinking about it.

"_I'm_ lucky Sebastian wants to put up with _me_," Dave said firmly, letting Robert know he'd picked up on the dig, and he wasn't going to let it slide. "But yes, I mostly get A's. A few B's. Seb's helping me in catching up on the coursework. Dalton is a lot more advanced. I'm only a junior but next year I want to apply to be a business major."

"Sounds good," Robert nodded thoughtfully, "Sebastian's going to law school. Harvard."

"Are you?" Dave asked Sebastian with a wink, "Is that where you want to go?"

Sebastian laughed at that and shrugged, "Dunno."

Robert frowned but said nothing.

"Have you been married long?" Dave asked, leaning back, crossing his legs and biting a cookie. He was channelling bitchy-Sebastian and he knew it.

"Two years," Holly tittered with a flick of her hair, annoyance apparently forgotten. "We got married in Paris! So romantic!"

She had the sort of high-pitched girlie voice that Dave assumed women naturally grew out of in their first year of college. Dave wasn't used to girls anymore after transferring to Dalton. It was just him and his dad at home and all boys at Dalton so the screeching pitch made him want to cover his ears.

"_So_ romantic!" Sebastian echoed in a mimic of her voice. Holly didn't seem to notice but Robert gave him a cold look.

"I thought you'd be a bit happier now you're with Dave," Robert snapped, "And you don't have to go to Scandals to find your 'boyfriends'."

Sebastian froze and Dave didn't know what to do. Confront Robert and make a big deal over the fact that that hit too close to home for Sebastian or ignore it? He took his cue from Sebastian who merely laughed lightly and sipped his lemonade for a little too long.

"So you boys up for tennis this afternoon? I'm playing with Brian from the office. We can do doubles?"

Dave looked at Sebastian curiously, "How's your ankle? He got a whack to the shin during lacrosse practice yesterday."

"Well if you don't want to play just tell me," Robert huffed, "No need to make up an injury, Sebastian."

"It'll be fine," Sebastian nodded to Dave, "It's just a bruise. Are you going to tell people Dave is my boyfriend or my friend?"

"Why would you ask that?" Robert shook his head, "Sebastian I don't like it but I need to keep people from knowing before you're finished law school and settled. You have no idea how judgemental people can be."

"Well, I've slept with a lot of judgemental people's sons so I wouldn't worry too much, Dad," Sebastian sneered and Dave coughed. "Just wanted to know whether Dave and I can congratulate with a kiss or a high five."

Robert looked like he almost wanted to smile but managed to stop.

"High fives, boys. Especially around Brian. He's only just joined our department so I don't know where he stands on that yet."

"Noted, Dad," Sebastian grinned, "I promise not to embarrass you."

Robert made an excuse to go and change then and Dave and Sebastian headed to his room to find some clothes for Dave and Sebastian's racket.

"We don't have to go," Sebastian said immediately as soon as he shut the door. "I can say no."

"I get the feeling you guys don't really play together all the time?" Dave hedged.

"It's the first time he's ever wanted me to play with him and one of the guys from work," Sebastian nodded. "It shouldn't be so easy to buy my love, but it actually makes me a little bit happy. And you'll be there to stop me throwing my racket at his head when he gets all righteous."

"Well, we'll go," Dave smiled at him and kissed him lightly, "I'm glad he asked us."

"Thankyou for standing up for me before," Sebastian murmured against Dave's lips. "You've had so much drama this weekend, I'm so sorry. And it's only Saturday!" He laughed self-mockingly and shook his head.

"Hey," Dave smiled and kissed him again, "There's nothing I'd rather be doing than dealing with your drama."

"Finger's crossed that there's no more this weekend, okay?" Sebastian laughed, "I don't think I can take any more. Now let's get you out of those clothes!"

"Forward!" Dave laughed and pulled off his shirt to a wolf whistle from Sebastian. He handed him the tennis-approved shirt he'd found and Dave pulled it on. It was a little tight but it was okay.

"God…" Sebastian moaned, "Your arms… Fuck… I can't play with you wearing that, there's no way I can pass for straight sporting a huge boner for you. I'll go see if my dad has anything."

Dave pulled Sebastian towards him for a kiss before he left. He was happy.

**Not for lo-ong! :P**


	25. Chapter 25

**I have to thank Gabe (flamesofatimelord on Tumblr) and Steph (catastrophicsetback on Tumblr) for all their help on this chapter! I don't write with a beta, but Gabe did a beautiful job helping me with some wording and Steph helped me figure out what was missing… I hope! :P **

**Thank you so much for every kind word :) You people are crazily fabulous and I'm having the best time writing this fic :)**

**On Tumblr during the week someone asked how far away we are from the end. I'll repeat my answer here in case anyone doesn't have Tumblr (seriously, you're missing out…) - I'd say we are about half way… liable to change…**

**Love you all!**

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><p>Sebastian was actually chirpy and happy when they got to the club, but by the time he was shaking hands with Brian his face looked like a thunderstorm.<p>

Brian seemed pretty friendly. He shook Dave's hand and asked quietly "You're Sebastian's _friend_?" Dave didn't know quite what to make of the inflection but he'd nodded and Brian had grinned broadly and tossed the tennis ball at Robert with a laugh. Sebastian glared at the ground like it had done something to offend his entire family.

Dave didn't know if being introduced as friends had been the thing to set him off, or whether it was the fact that Dave had conveniently forgotten to mention that he was a dreadful tennis player, but whatever the cause, Sebastian's bad mood seemed contagious. Dave found himself wondering whether it was the lack of sleep or whether he had truly begun to associate his own mood with Sebastian's. He was swearing under his breath a lot and began fumbling volleys he should have been able to hit easily.

Sebastian got so frustrated with him at some point that he insisted they swap positions. It was no help. Sebastian seemed to be focusing on Brian, apparently figuring him to be the weak link. Brian didn't seem fazed though, and there were whole minutes where Robert and Dave would stand with nothing to do while Sebastian sent wildly vicious backhands to Brian, who calmly smiled and sent them back promptly.

They were being slaughtered. Sebastian wasn't half bad but his mind wasn't on the game and Dave was too big and clumsy-footed to catch the quick volleys. Robert was excellent. He was the sort of man who excelled at everything and didn't care whether he made friends or enemies doing it. Dave would never tell Sebastian that he was more like his father than he probably liked. Even the stunt at the house… Dave could imagine Sebastian doing something similar.

Sebastian was working up a decent sweat and Dave was finding it hard to act platonic around him. He looked wrecked and it was reminding Dave of how he looked after he came. Dave tried hard to keep his hands off him, but when they bumped into each other in desperation to hit the ball, Dave let his hands discreetly stroke his waist. Sebastian acted a little too well, shaking Dave off and stalking away. Dave saw him glance at Brian and his father to judge whether they'd noticed their interaction. Dave felt guilty and didn't touch him again.

Brian was a bit of a beefy guy. He looked a little bit like the guy who played Marshall in How I Met Your Mother, Dave thought. Sebastian had been forcing him to watch the show, mainly due to his crush on Neil Patrick Harris, that and Sebastian was obviously the real-life version of Barney. Brian was relatively young, probably late twenties, and when Dave brought up the resemblance he laughed and made jokes about it all afternoon.

"Lawyered!" He crowed as Dave missed the ball and lost the match. Sebastian swore loudly and made his way to the change rooms without a second glance at Dave or his father. Dave looked awkwardly at Robert, knowing he couldn't exactly follow Sebastian without arousing suspicion.

"God, I stink!" Brian laughed, wiping the sweat from his brow and clapping Dave on the back, "Good game, kid! Always boosts the ego to wipe the floor with a teenager!" He laughed again and headed for the showers himself. Dave began to gather their things; Sebastian's racket, their phones and towels. He folded them neatly and slung them over his arm, Robert's eyes on him with an amused smile.

"Where did my son meet you?" he laughed, "You're too good for him." His words sounded harsh, but Dave was used to Sebastian's sarcastic humour so he understood how Robert worked.

"Not better than him at tennis, obviously," Dave laughed easily.

"Can I talk to you, Dave? Man to man?" Robert asked conspiratorially. "My son… How is he? He's never been the easiest kid to get to open up."

Dave felt a pang of genuine like for Robert at that moment. Sebastian had learnt his poker face and his sarcastic shield from his father, sure. But Robert's legacy hadn't been extended to the emotional and they didn't know how to connect at all. Dave wondered what to say. Truth was, Sebastian was far from fine, but telling Robert that he should have never taken his son to a work party three years ago was a dangerous thing to say.

"He's… well… Seb has a few trust issues I think. But we're working on them," Dave tried to sound upbeat and positive rather than what he really was, which was scared.

"His mother was a very stern woman," Robert mused sitting on a bench. Dave hesitantly joined him. "She hasn't seen Sebastian since she moved to Chicago. She's never been at ease with homosexuality. She loves him. But she doesn't understand that this isn't a choice. She thinks it's just him rebelling." Robert took a deep breath and Dave saw that same vulnerable look on his face that Sebastian had worn that day in the hospital when he had finally let his guard down. "I want you to know, I'm perfectly fine with Sebastian being gay, okay? My brother is gay and I've never seen it as anything that should be segregated. It's like how you can't choose what music your kids will like. But you love them even when they're playing death metal. Or in Sebastian's case_, The Beatles_." Robert gave a little smile at the memory, "Sebastian used to tell us he had discovered the _best band in the world_ and they were going to be _so famous_… Blasting _Abbey Road_. He was seven I think. He told his mother Ringo was cute and I think that was sort of the beginning of the end for us."

Dave sat quietly listening. He could picture Sebastian as a seven year old and smiled. Then his face grew serious.

"Have you ever told Sebastian that? That you're okay with him being gay, I mean?"

Robert frowned.

"He knows I'm accepting. He can't be out before he finishes law school and gets a job because he'll run into a bunch of conservative lawyer types along the way and unfortunately a lot of people don't want to hire young gay guys. Law is a conservative and competitive field. It will be different once he's settled, but he'll probably always have to be quite discreet. I'm sure you can understand that?"

"I think he knows you're accepting. He doesn't know that you're supportive. He really needs to hear some of this stuff for himself. I mean, I'll tell him but we both know he won't believe me," Dave laughed.

Robert grinned back.

"You know him pretty well, huh?"

"I love him."

"I believe you," Robert nodded, sighing and clapping his hands together, "Okay, let's go get changed and round up your boyfriend."

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><p>Sebastian let the cool water flow over his body, thanking whoever had designed the bathrooms at the club that they had locks on the showers. He needed to be alone. He sloshed the water over his chest, willing the lead that had settled there to be washed away. He didn't know whether to be angry, terrified, indignant, self-righteous or just try to carry on. It wasn't the first time he'd seen one of the men who raped him. He'd been to events at his father's work since. He just made sure he was never alone and struck up conversations with the catering staff. They hadn't really acknowledged him since. A few whispers. A thumbs up once. Once, one had smacked him on the ass when he was in the men's room and he rushed out before he'd even had time to tuck in his shirt. He'd smiled politely and complained of a headache, then caught a taxi home and broken down in his darkened kitchen. But he'd never had to smile and laugh and play tennis with any of them. And it had to be Brian too… Brian had been the one to fuck his mouth… the last one to fuck him… The one Sebastian remembered because he'd thought he seemed like a cool guy.<p>

If this guy was playing tennis with his dad… there would be house dinners. He would come over for barbeques. Sebastian's dad didn't befriend guys from his office lightly, so the fact that Brian had earned himself a doubles tennis date meant he was basically 'in the club'. Sebastian wondered vaguely whether he was crying or if it was just the water running in rivulets down his cheeks.

He'd felt Brian's eyes on him all game. He was bigger than Sebastian even remembered. He was wearing a lycra wife beater and his shorts didn't leave much to the imagination. Sebastian didn't have to imagine. He knew exactly what was in those shorts. He knew how it felt to try to swallow it down and how it felt splitting him in half. Brian was the one he'd come with. Sebastian hadn't admitted that to Dave. He was more ashamed of that than anything. He never told Dave that he'd come because it sickened him. They'd been raping him and his cock had betrayed him.

He'd read a little about how bodies react to stimulus and images and that it was perfectly normal for rape victims to come from the attack.

It didn't help.

Sebastian had lain awake with an erection so many times after that, refusing to touch it. It was the traitor. It had betrayed him.

Eventually, he'd learnt that he could enjoy sex, as long as he was in control and his cock wouldn't be disloyal.

So playing tennis with his rapist and feeling himself begin to stir just made him hate himself. He loved Dave. He didn't want anyone else. He certainly didn't want Brian. His penis was a traitor.

Sebastian slammed his fist into the wooden stall door with a frustrated, broken yell. He did it again. Not hard enough to hurt the door or his hand, just enough to _feel something_.

"You okay in there?" someone called out, "Sebastian?"

Sebastian froze. There wasn't another sound in the locker room. It was Brian and Sebastian was naked and there was no one to hear him…

"You played real good today, kid! You've certainly grown up since the last time I saw you."

Sebastian bit his lip to stop from retorting. He edged back under the water like it could protect him.

"That Dave kid your boyfriend?" Brian called; his curiosity seemed more menacing; threatening.

Sebastian stayed silent.

"Maybe I could take you guys out for some drinks sometime? Show your boyfriend how we had fun that time?" Brian's voice was actually hopeful and it struck Sebastian like a bullet to the brain that he had no idea that Sebastian hadn't had fun. Did he want a repeat? Was he just one of those discreet guys that worked in conservative law who had to get his kicks on the sly?

"Leave him the fuck out of this!" Sebastian heard himself growl. He didn't know where the anger was coming from after the terror he usually felt, but he was glad to have it, a little like a poodle is glad of a yappy bark and a snarl.

"You want to keep it a secret?" Brian asked in a low voice, and Sebastian found that he couldn't tell if Brian was being purposely cruel or genuinely furtive. "Want me to blow you again? Old times' sake?"

"Keep the fuck away from me!" Sebastian whispered.

"What was that?" Brian asked and Sebastian could see his feet underneath the door.

"Seb? You still in here?" Dave's voice called before Sebastian could talk again, "Oh, hey, Brian."

"_I'm in here, Dave!_" Sebastian called a little too nervously. Dave must have known something was up because Sebastian heard his footsteps pause abruptly.

"You okay?"

Sebastian wished he could see Brian's face right then, almost about to be figured out. Would he be scared like Sebastian had been for years?

"He had soap in his eye," Brian blurted, "I was going to help him get it out. I'll let you do that though… Okay…" Sebastian heard Brian's footsteps leave and the big main door swing open and creak shut. There was a silence then Dave's feet appeared under the door.

"Hey," his voice came soothingly through the wood, "Open up for me. He's gone."

"No."

"Why not?" Dave asked slowly. Sebastian knew Dave knew. He wasn't stupid.

"I… I need to breathe."

"I don't want you to stop breathing; I just want you to tell me you're okay. Are you okay?"

Sebastian gave a hysterical giggle and sobbed loudly.

"I've been better!"

"Brian was one of the guys, wasn't he?" Dave said softly. It wasn't a question.

Sebastian didn't see the point in answering.

"I knew the second I saw him near your door… Jesus Christ, Seb…"

Sebastian sunk to the floor, huddling on the tile, letting the water wash away his tears.

"Can you let me in? Please?"

"I'm not wearing anything."

"I've seen you naked… kind of… I mean, I've seen you shirtless… and without pants… just not all at once."

"I don't want to freak out about you."

"Do you feel like I'll hurt you or touch you?"

"No."

They stayed silent for a few minutes, until Sebastian had calmed down, found his legs and unlocked the door quietly.

Dave was crying. He was sitting against the wall opposite the showers just sobbing silently.

Sebastian turned back to turn off his shower then reached for his towel. He went about getting dressed in a sort of haze where he didn't feel but seemed to watch everything his body did. When he was clothed and Dave was still crying, he let himself cry. He sank to the floor next to Dave, who made this awkward, desperate, reaching moment with his hands, then dropped them, as if unsure that Sebastian would want to be touched.

"You can hold me," Sebastian told him, "Please."

Dave squinted at him like he was hard to see and tears plopped from his chin to his shirt. He enveloped Sebastian with his arms gently. It wasn't like Sebastian was expecting. He thought he'd be frightened; shy away from Dave's strong arms and feel claustrophobic and panic. Or maybe he would be lucky and just fall into Dave's arms, feel safe and protected; love him and hold him.

Instead he felt nothing.

And that was scarier than anything.

"Kiss me?" Sebastian whispered desperately, needing to _feel_. He needed proof that he wasn't now so damaged that he couldn't even feel.

"Is that a good idea – _oof_!" Dave began to ask softly but Sebastian grabbed him desperately by his collar and yanked him down, kissing him hard. His tongue blindly searched with Dave's for what his heart suddenly seemed to have lost.

"_More_," he demanded, fraught with worry and they ended up in a dirty, open-mouthed kiss that was probably inappropriate for the scenario.

Sebastian still felt empty.

He pulled back and stared into Dave's blown eyes as he panted and stared back. He loved this boy. This _man_. He knew he did.

So why was he suddenly doubting it?

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><p><strong>Don't kill me… Screaming and flailing is acceptable however.<strong>

**:P**


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry about the long wait… Real Life issues… Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter! So blown away by all your love and kind comments! I've sort of become addicted to Omegle lately :P Not many people on there are happy to play Sebastian/Dave and that just reminds me that we really are a minority… Thank you for all being so friendly and much more welcoming than a lot of other ships… Hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

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><p>Sebastian went back to Dave's after the game. He'd been supposed to stay at his dad's but he didn't want to stay. They grabbed some takeaway Chinese on the way home and sat on Dave's bed, eating wordlessly, neither of them tasting their food.<p>

"Are you going to tell your dad?" Dave asked quietly. They were speaking thoughts out loud sporadically as their minds raced, but somehow the conversation made sense to each of them. They were reaching the same conclusions in time with each other.

"No."

They ate silently.

"I left my tennis shoes at the club."

"It's okay. We'll get some more."

There was a long pause while they ate.

"Do you have that number?"

"Yeah, hang on," Dave reaches into his wallet and hands Sebastian the card, "She usually sees me on Thursdays."

"I won't go on Thursdays then."

Dave nods, though he looks a little hurt. Sebastian says nothing.

"He seemed so _nice_…"

"Nice? You think the guy that fucked me was nice?"

"I said _seemed_…"

Sebastian relaxed a little. It was true. He had seemed nice.

Dave cleared their plates when they were finished and sat on the bed, arms outstretched.

Sebastian took the opportunity to crawl into them. Surely he'd feel something…

They lay for an hour.

Sebastian started to cry as he watched Dave stroking his arm and felt his arms around him and felt… nothing.

He couldn't have stopped… He didn't want to stop…

Sebastian sits up to call the emergency after-hours number on the card Dave handed him. Dave doesn't seem surprised, like he was about to suggest it. It isn't later than seven-thirty, but Sebastian knows he'll probably get charged to the roof.

"Hello, Dr Gold speaking," her pleasant voice came through the line.

"He was there…"

"Who is this? Hello?"

Sebastian finds it hard to breathe and talk.

"It's… Dave Karofsky's boyfriend. The one who…"

"Sebastian," she says with an air of sad understanding, "Hi, honey. Is everything alright?"

Sebastian shakes his head.

"Honey? What's happened?"

"One of them… He plays tennis with my dad. He… in the change rooms…"

Sebastian knew he wasn't making sense but… he really couldn't breathe… His chest felt so tight and his throat was dry and constricting painfully. He found himself taking raspy breaths.

"Sebastian," Dr Gold's voice came calmly but forcefully, "I need you to relax for me. Can you do that, please? You're with Dave, right? He won't let anyone hurt you. You need to slow your breathing down or you're going to have a panic attack."

Sebastian sobbed loudly and gasped harshly for the breath that wasn't coming.

"Breathe in nice and slowly, honey. Hold it. That's it… Let it out slowly. Okay… No! Too fast, honey, slow it down. Think about Dave, okay? How much you love him. You don't want to scare him."

Sebastian's breathing hitched and caught again in panic.

"Not… sure… anymore…" he cried, "I… I couldn't feel anything…"

Sebastian bent over and tried to breathe and Dave took him gently in his arms, trying to comfort him.

"Sebastian, calm down," Dr Gold said soothingly, "It's okay to fall out of love sometimes. You're young and it can happen."

"No! I want to! I do!" Sebastian sobbed bitterly as Dave drew his face back in horror and Sebastian realises that he must have heard. "I want to be with you, I love you, I do!"

"Sebastian? Can you ask Dave to wait outside or something, honey? He'll understand."

"No, he won't!_ I_ don't understand! I loved him! Then I saw _him_ and he wanted to blow me in the shower and… I got hard again… I'm so disgusting!"

Dave pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, not facing Sebastian.

"Dave… I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I just…"

Dave turned around quickly to shush him and stroke his cheek. He took the phone from Sebastian and spoke to Dr Gold.

"Yeah… He's on my bed…Hurt. Worried… Yeah… Okay… What if he doesn't?... I love him… Okay… Here he is…" Dave handed the phone back to Sebastian and gave him a brief rub over the shoulders before walking to the bathroom.

"Sebastian?" Dr Gold asked, "You feeling a bit better, honey?"

"No," Sebastian cried, "Dave thinks I don't love him anymore…"

"He knows that this is really hard and complicated, honey. He'll understand."

"I loved him this morning…"

"And you probably still love him now, sweetheart. You've just had a horrible experience is all, okay? Can you tell me what happened?"

Sebastian retold the day's events between sobs.

"And now I just feel… nothing… _Dead_. Empty. And I don't know why I suddenly stopped loving Dave! He's the best thing in my fucking life…"

Dr Gold came straight in on that without a moment's hesitation.

"Sebastian, you still love Dave," She told him firmly, "It's just that this event has hurt you in a profound way and sometimes, not even the ones we love can make things okay. You expected to hug Dave and feel all the problems disappear because you were in his arms? That's a very romantic notion, Sebastian, but I'm afraid, not at all realistic. You have been learning to close yourself off to people for all this time, possibly even before the rape and starting with your parents' divorce. Your reaction to fear and despair isn't naturally to find comfort in someone else. Instead you find comfort in getting angry and making yourself feel strong. It's not that you don't love Dave. It's that your whole persona is struggling against letting him get close and dependable. Look how upset you are… Of course you love him. You wouldn't be this afraid of losing him otherwise."

Sebastian listened quietly and heard lots of things that resonated too close to home. He did try to push people away. He'd never even had a best friend since he was ten and his mum had left, screaming and slamming doors.

"Can I make an appointment with you please?" Sebastian found he could breathe easier and suddenly the whole mess didn't look so bad. "You actually know what you're talking about…"

Dr Gold laughed prettily at that. "High praise from a cynic!" There was a pause while she fumbled through a planner, muttering dates and times under her breath. "How about Thursday before Dave?"

"No. I want to do this by myself."

"Our sessions will be completely private, honey. I actually agree that Dave should be kept separate from them. You could schedule some for the both of you together down the track, but for now I want to focus on getting you where you need to be to make this relationship work, because I think you're actually good for each other."

Sebastian considered that. He felt the same. He didn't want to have to cry all over Dave all the time. He was feeling like a sissy and he was fucking sick of it. If he had an outlet then he might be a bit more stable and they might even be able to progress a bit further towards proper sex. He wiped his eyes.

"Alright, as long as we keep things really separate. I-Ive been crying too much lately… I want that to stop. He must be so sick of it…" Sebastian trailed off in a worried tone. Dr Gold laughed again.

"Sebastian, I don't want to break any of Dave's confidences, but I'll tell you straight out that there is very little you can do to make Dave sick of you at this point." Sebastian could hear her smile through the phone, "I'll see you on Thursday at 4:15. Now I want you to be completely open with Dave right now. Tell him how closed off you feel and he'll understand, honey."

"Okay. Thanks, I guess," Sebastian's false bravado was back in place, despite his red eyes and sniffles. He felt so much more like himself. He tested her theory and thought of Dave while he wasn't in the room, feeling his heat beat a little faster and an aching feeling in his stomach.

"I'll see you on Thursday," he added in wonder and hung up. How had she been able to pinpoint exactly what he would feel when he didn't even know which way was up?

"Dave?" he called and the door to the bathroom cracked open immediately. "Come here?"

As he saw Dave, with his worried eyes, Sebastian felt it. Love, affection, all of it. He sighed in absolute relief and leapt up wrapping his arms and legs around Dave's body, burying his face in his neck. Dave reeled a little in shock but wrapped his arms around Sebastian too, walking them slowly to the bed.

He tipped Sebastian backwards to lay him down, and somehow overbalanced, laying all his weight on Sebastian. He panicked and tried to roll off him immediately.

"Sorry! Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Seb!"

Sebastian just smiled at him. "It's… It's okay, Dave… I'm… not scared of you anymore. I know you won't… do anything…"

Dave rolled onto his side to peer at Sebastian critically, but he said nothing. He didn't know what to say.

Sebastian seemed to sense his confusion so he rolled to face him and traced his hand up and down Dave's arm softly.

"I… When I saw him? It was immediate. I felt that fear and the memories and just… everything. You've _never_ made me feel like that, even when you didn't know you were triggering stuff. I remembered him wrong. It wasn't that they were big. It was that they were – are wrong. There's something scary about who they are, not how many muscles they have."

Dave smiled softly, "You think I have muscles?"

Sebastian squeezed his arm playfully and laughed, then turned serious, propping his head up on his elbow to look at Dave properly.

"I was scared," he admitted, "I felt numb after I saw Brian, and I think I projected that onto you. I didn't feel any better when I saw you, or I hugged you or we kissed, and I thought that maybe I didn't love you… Dr Gold told me how stupid I was though."

"No, she didn't. She doesn't ever say people are stupid for feeling," Dave corrected him with a sad smile.

"Alright, she didn't say stupid," Sebastian smiled, "She told me that I don't turn to people for comfort, and me pushing people away and trying to appear strong and confident is my way of coping."

"Well, we already knew that."

"_Did_ we?"

"You didn't?" Dave laughed, "Seb… I've known that about you from the start. I need you to tell me when you feel like I'm smothering you or whatever though… Don't just assume you don't love me and pull away."

Sebastian shakes his head violently, shaking the pillow, "It wasn't about you. You didn't do anything wrong. It was about Brian and… and my cock."

Dave pulled back and frowned, positive he'd heard his boyfriend wrong.

"Care to explain that?"

"I-I never told you, but… when they… raped me. I came. With Brian. He was the last one."

Dave looked shocked and angry.

"I'm so sorry, Dave… I didn't _want_ to come, I hated it!" Sebastian felt his eyes filling and he felt unsure of everything.

"Hey, hey," Dave said in that familiar little way, "It's okay. You can't help how your body reacts, Seb. I know you hated it, it's okay."

Sebastian shook his head. "There's more. I saw him… and… I got aroused. In the shower, with him begging me to let him suck me… I got hard."

Dave's heart broke as Sebastian looked ashamed and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Come on, let's sleep," Dave pulled the blankets over them, tucking Sebastian in sweetly and turning away from him to let him be the big spoon.

"Why aren't you upset?" Sebastian demanded.

"That you got a boner?" Dave scoffed, "Seb, I know how penises work, okay? You didn't do anything wrong. I know that you only love me. And that's enough. If this was a relationship that didn't have any of these issues, you'd still watch porn. You think you getting a boner over some strangers fucking is any different? Your brain reacts to the suggestion, not the emotional. It can't be helped. I'm sorry for you having that happen, but it's not anything to worry about."

Sebastian relaxed behind him, kissing the back of his neck. Then he laughed.

"Guess who wants back in the good books?" he giggled and pressed the beginnings of his erection against Dave's ass.

"See?" Dave smiled. "You just got a random boner because I talked about porn! Nothing to worry about, baby." The word was out before Dave could call it back, but Sebastian merely snuggled into Dave's back and sighed contentedly.

"I still _love_ you," he smiled happily.

"I still love you too," Dave laughed gently, "Try to sleep, okay?"

"Call me baby again."

"Baby?" Dave wriggled softly into his arms a little more, "Go to sleep."

Sebastian closed his eyes. And let the horror of the day wash away. It still felt vaguely unnatural to be holding Dave while they slept. But he wanted to hold him. And that made all the difference.

* * *

><p>When he woke in the middle of the night holding Dave's cock in his hand and grinding against his ass, Sebastian tried not to panic. He concentrated on not freaking out, and forgot to concentrate on stopping. He concentrated so hard on not panicking that he almost missed the realisation that he <em>wasn't<em> freaking out. Dave was moaning in his sleep, and Sebastian watched him writhe in pleasure, calling out his name. When Sebastian finally stopped, Dave's eyes flew open indignantly.

"Why did you stop?" he demanded with a grin.

"You were awake?" Sebastian accused him with a laugh. "I felt so guilty!"

"I was the one who put your hand down my pants," Dave grinned, "You'd been hard for like an hour and I was about to die."

Sebastian didn't panic. He didn't worry. He just smiled lazily and turned Dave's head gently to kiss him.

"I'm glad I didn't stop loving you," he whispered, "And I'm glad that I'm not freaking out. But mostly? I kind of want you to make me forget that Brian exists, okay?"

"You aren't afraid?" The happiness and excitement in Dave's voice was overwhelming.

"I told you. I realised that I'm afraid of who they are. And you… You're wonderful and kind and you would never do anything to hurt me. I_ trust_ you. And I want you to make me forget."

Dave turned around to kiss Sebastian. The kiss was slow, tentative, as if Dave was waiting for Sebastian to cry, but honestly, he felt calm. It was better than he could imagine. It was as if the sleep had cemented his thoughts and fixed some of the old fears.

Sebastian pulled down the front of his sweats and rocked his cock against Dave's, tucking Dave's underwear underneath his balls and shuddering at the brush of his skin. He kissed him quietly and softly, rolling on top of him and moving slowly.

They moved together with easily whispered compliments and breathy confessions of love, rolling their hips and licking at sweat, fisting hands in each other's necks and clinging to each other, eyes locked together as they finally spilt over together with cries and grunts.

Lying lazily in each other's arms, sharing kisses and heartbeats and the aftershocks of their orgasms, Sebastian presses a kiss to Dave's eyelids and thinks that this will always be his memory of the first time he made love.

**Aww, Sebby :P**


	27. Chapter 27

**Things that have kept me from writing:**

**Omegle**

**Work**

**Uni**

**Omegle**

**A boy… maybe…**

**Omegle**

**Seriously, thankyou if you're still reading… I was very unmotivated to spit this chapter out… It's crap and short because I must have deleted it about fifteen times… Hopefully I can get some motivation back for the next one… Sorry :(**

**Also: There's a song in this chapter... I suck at doing the whole lyrics in the writing bit and every time I tried I gave up, even though I really loved the idea of them singing this particular song together... Have a listen, the link is at the bottom :) EDIT: FF isnt letting me put even the last bit of the url in... I hate these new changes... Please go and search for "Mister Sandman" on youtube though. The song is perfect, really!**

* * *

><p>Sebastian learnt that Sundays meant pancakes with strawberries in bed. He learnt that Sundays were lazy days that Paul played sixties music that filtered through the house giving the day a poignant air that Sebastian couldn't quite describe.<p>

Dave was singing in the kitchen, sort of humming the tune to a song and Sebastian laughed as he recognised the introduction. Mister Sandman.

Dave was sweeping the kitchen, dancing with the broom and Sebastian laughed coming up behind him to sing and dance. Sebastian's lips twitched around 'like Liberace' and Dave grinned and pressed him against the fridge and kissed him until Paul walked in and coughed uncomfortably.

Sundays meant Dave walked around in flannel pyjama bottoms and didn't get dressed till 1:30pm. Paul wore a shirt with holes and read the paper. He wore slippers with gorillas on them. Sebastian learnt that Dave would press a kiss to his temple as he absentmindedly did the dishes, or he would catch Dave smiling at him when he looked up from the lifestyle section of the paper.

After lunch and a lot of coaxing to put on clothes (and halfway through, an agonising change of mind when Sebastian wanted them _off_) they made their way to the Lima Bean to meet up with Kurt and Blaine… and Chandler.

Sebastian scowled as the boy smiled happily in recognition at Dave. Dave laughed softly and squeezed his hand gently.

"Be nice," Dave said quietly, "He doesn't mean anything to me. But he's a nice guy."

Sebastian needn't have worried. Kurt and Chandler did nothing but gab excitedly about musical theatre (apparently, Chandler had been given instructions to tone down his gay for his date with Dave. He was wearing tailored jeans and had talked non-stop to Kurt about shopping in New York).

Dave watched Blaine quietly as Kurt and Chandler kibitzed and felt sorry for him. He was glad Sebastian had had to repeat a year of school because he'd been fucking every guy in France… Well… Maybe he wasn't so glad about _that_…But he was glad he got to keep him.

Sebastian nuzzled into Dave's shoulder and Dave looked at him in surprise.

"You right there?" he asked in amusement, "I love that but people are looking at us…"

"Do you care?" Sebastian shrugged.

Dave watched him wrap his fingers around Dave's wrist and run his thumb along the hub of veins there. He found he really didn't care. Not at all.

When Kurt and Chandler brought up a sale at the mall, and Blaine looked vaguely interested, Sebastian and Dave had a small awkward moment. They'd been spending all their time together and it had been wonderful and a little sad, but would it be rude to say they didn't want to go shopping with their friends? Sebastian and Dave noticed the little pleading look Blaine gave them and agreed, but they both had a picture in their head of just what they could have been doing with their free Sunday afternoon.

* * *

><p>While Kurt and Chandler gushed over scarves and Sebastian escaped to a music store, Blaine and Dave sat awkwardly on a bench between both stores.<p>

"You didn't want to…" Dave indicates Kurt and Chandler who had moved on to examine a pea-coat in the window.

"No." Blaine said immediately.

Dave nodded slowly. He understood the pained look on Blaine's expression and the way he was watching Chandler like a hawk as he held up a hangar against Kurt's body.

"He's a good guy, you know…" Dave said softly, "I don't think he'd do anything…"

Blaine shrugs blandly and continues to stare.

"You know he's a good guy, Blaine…" Dave prods softly, still very wary around Blaine and aware that they aren't really friends…

"I know," Blaine sighs, "But… Look at Kurt…"

Dave watches Kurt laughing happily and dressing Chandler in a scarf and accessorising him with sunglasses. Kurt looks… the way he usually looks with Blaine.

Dave turns back to Blaine wordlessly, unable to tell him anything reassuring. Blaine nods.

"I know," he says hollowly. "I won't break up with him again, but… We won't last a year apart."

Dave watches Kurt and Chandler laughing and playfully hitting each other. He doesn't disagree. Sebastian comes back then, ruining the poignant moment by jumping on Dave's lap.

"Shhh!" Dave tells him and pushes him, "Get off…" He shoots a sneaky look at Blaine and Sebastian's eyes follow his stare to Kurt and Chandler. Sebastian climbs off his lap and gives him an awkward look. He watches Blaine.

"You can have my little black book if you want," he offers eventually.

Blaine bites back a bitter laugh and suddenly the air is a little clearer.

"We're gonna head home," Dave says when Kurt and Chandler finally emerge with far fewer purchases than one would expect after such a lengthy browse. He turns to Chandler. "Do you need a lift home?" he asks pointedly. Chandler gives him a strange look, and then nods when he sees the way Blaine is looking at Kurt.

"Yeah," he says loudly, "I've got a skype blind date tonight! So excited!" He bounces and promises to text Kurt how it goes. Blaine looks happier when the three of them walk away.

"There's no skype blind date, is there?" Sebastian says suspiciously.

"No," Chandler admits. "I don't want to cause trouble though."

"You're quite good at being the guy who comes between people," Sebastian observes with a laugh.

"I know, and I hate it. I just want a boyfriend of my own, not someone elses…"

Sebastian grins. "Challenge Accepted!"

Dave rolls his eyes and laughs.

"Be afraid, Chandler. Be very afraid…"

* * *

><p>The next day at Dalton Dave and Sebastian walked hand in hand through the halls and Sebastian stopped every guy he'd ever slept with to show them Chandler's picture on his phone. Two told him to fuck off, a lot kept walking and ignored him and three seemed too interested in hearing about Chandler's skills in bed rather than his charm or personality. Sebastian slumped into lunch next to Dave, down-hearted. To be honest, he'd taken the task so he could prevent himself from thinking about Brian or his upcoming session with Dr Gold. Anything to keep him in this light-hearted mood that he was starting to enjoy. But the fact he was so unsuccessful was putting a real downer on the whole thing.<p>

"It's hopeless," he sighed, chewing his carrot slices despondently, "Chandler's impossible to set up."

Trent sat down next to Dave as he rubbed Sebastian's hand comfortingly.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked slowly with a concerned look. "I-I can leave…"

Sebastian opened his mouth to snap at him when Dave laughed.

"Seb, you're an idiot!"

Sebastian scowled.

"Why am I an idiot? Please, tell me!" he yanked his hand away from Dave and folded his arms crossly.

"Because you only asked guys you've slept with," Dave grinned, pinching a piece of carrot.

"I've slept with everyone," Sebastian said, self-deprecatingly, "I'm the Dalton bicycle, remember?"

Dave frowned but said nothing to that. "You know there are other gay guys here you haven't slept with… Ones that are probably a bit more up Chandler's alley…"

"Yeah, right," Sebastian scoffed. "Who?"

Dave turned slowly to watch Trent struggling to open his milk carton nervously. He seemed to feel their eyes on him after several long seconds so he looked up with a terrified gaze at the pair of them, looking very much like prey.

"Wh-what did I do?" he asked nervously.

"You didn't sleep with Sebastian," Dave laughed.

Trent looked appalled at the idea and splutters.

"Why would you be angry about that?" he asked nervously.

Dave crossed his legs and winked at Sebastian.

"Because his search for a date with a friend of ours was restricted to people he'd slept with and your perfection was severely overlooked in light of the fact you've never slept with my boyfriend," Dave grinned at him. "Thank you, by the way."

Trent grinned nervously. "So… you want to set me up with your friend?"

Sebastian grinned. "You're a genius," he told Dave. "He's perfect! He's a prude, he's gayer than gay, he's shy, he can sing well enough to be bearable… Perfect!"

Trent and Dave both glared at him and Sebastian bit his lip.

"That was rude, huh?"

Dave nodded.

"I meant all that in a nice way…" Sebastian pleaded and Trent laughed.

"You're kind of adorable when you're whipped, Sebastian," he grinned and didn't back down when Sebastian growled, instead he laughed. Sebastian glared at Dave. Here was the reason he always tried to keep people at an arm's length. They laughed at him.

Dave must have picked up on Sebastian's uncomfortable stance and shushed Trent. "Sebastian has me whipped, more like!" he smiled and reached for Sebastian's knee under the table, stroking it reassuringly. Sebastian felt warmth wash over him.

"You're nice," he said softly, grinning and kissing Dave quickly. "And I love you," Sebastian rubbed their noses together.

"Oh, my god," Trent laughed, "It's like invasion of the body snatchers…"

Sebastian stuck his middle finger up at him in response and kissed Dave again while Trent sighed with jealous longing.

**If you leave me reviews yelling at me to write more it might help to get my writer's block out of the way :(**


	28. Chapter 28

**So, I'll start with an apology for the dreadful lapse in updates. I'm doing a Master's degree and working fulltime and it's just… a lot. Mostly I get home and veg out on the couch and if I feel like writing I want a quick fix and turn to omegle. Anyway. I endeavour to do better. **

**I have the next chapter started (this is sort of a bit of a two-parter) but I can't give a date for when it should be up, hopefully in the next few weeks. **

**Thank you for being understanding, and please let me know what you thought, even if it's bad :)**

* * *

><p>"Tell me about your relationship with your father," Dr Gold said softly, after Sebastian had insulted the colour of the room and the comfortableness of her chairs.<p>

Sebastian looked taken aback and gave an awkward laugh. "You really jump right in there, don't you?"

Dr Gold smiled politely but waited for Sebastian to speak. He sighed loudly and began speaking haltingly.

"Dad… he's… He doesn't understand…" Sebastian began slowly. "When he broke up with Mom… I think it really hurt him." Sebastian gave a wry smile. "Mom's a bitch."

Dr Gold's eyebrows rose and she seemed to be trying to hold back a smile.

"It's alright, I don't see her," Sebastian explained. "She lives in Chicago now."

Dr Gold smiled and nodded but tapped her notepad with her pen. "We were talking about your father."

"Why?" Sebastian said sarcastically, "Is this some Freudian thing?"

"No," she grinned, "I want to know how much money I can squeeze out of you in session payments." She gave him a deadpanned face, then winked and laughed and Sebastian couldn't help snorting an incredulous chuckle.

"I am joking, of course," Dr Gold grinned. "I want to know about your father because you mentioned he works with one of the men who assaulted you."

Sebastian's face went blank and he felt himself start to close off. Dr Gold watched him knowingly.

"What are you feeling?" she asked quickly, "Try not to think, just talk. Words, if you can't put it into sentences."

Sebastian closed his eyes.

"Defensive. Terrified. I don't want you to judge me…" he murmured, feeling the tears start to form behind his eyelids.

Dr Gold hummed gently. "It's okay, honey. No one will judge you for admitting what happened to you. It wasn't your fault, Sebastian."

"I didn't say no…" Sebastian said quietly. "I never once said no…"

Dr Gold smiled painfully. "Sebastian, that wouldn't have stopped them, sweetheart."

She bit her lip.

"It's not… _customary_ for me to divulge things about my personal life to a patient," she told him. "But in your case, I think you might benefit from it…"

She took a deep shaky sigh.

"Sebastian, when I was a little younger than you, I was abused by my stepfather. Repeatedly," she added with a dark look. "I was scared of what he would do if I refused, so I never said no. Do you judge me?" she asked him.

Sebastian shook his head in horror. "Of course not! You were only a kid! Oh!" he smiled tearfully. "I get it…"

Dr Gold smiled softly. "You were only a child, Sebastian. Do you understand that? You're still only a child. I know you're seventeen, and you look like a man now, but you haven't finished growing on the inside. You don't magically become an adult. You have to mature naturally. Some people can take longer than others. I've worked with incredibly mature teenagers and incredibly immature forty-something's."

"I'm mature," Sebastian pouted.

The corner of Dr Gold's mouth twitched. "You are. But you're not an adult."

Sebastian mulled that thought over. It wasn't easy to accept, but he knew it was the truth.

"So… Back to your father…" Dr Gold prompted.

"I guess…" Sebastian began. "Dave thinks he's a bit like me."

"Does he?" Dr Gold asked knowingly as if she had expected this.

"Yeah… We're both really stubborn and suspicious I guess…" Sebastian played with a loose thread on the couch.

"How does your dad feel about you being gay?" Dr Gold asked softly.

"He never really said anything," Sebastian shrugged, still not looking at her. "His brother's gay."

"So, he's accepting?" Dr Gold looked pleased. "Supportive?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Not really. It's sort of… you know don't ask, don't tell?"

"Of course."

"Well… He knows… But he doesn't want to hear about it. And I'm not allowed to tell people from his office or anything."

"Ah. Is he embarrassed?" Dr Gold asked, the line between her eyes getting deeper.

Sebastian shrugged. "He says they won't accept me when I go into law."

"You want to be a lawyer?" Dr Gold smiled.

"I'm _going_ to be one," Sebastian sighed. "Whether I like it or not."

Dr Gold shook her head. "No, Sebastian. You only get one life, sweetheart. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. I guess a lawyer is a good job," Sebastian muttered.

"When you were a little boy, what did you want to be?" Dr Gold smiled.

"A cowboy," Sebastian snorted. "Now, I guess I've got the Brokeback part down, but I really can't pull off cowboy boots."

Dr Gold laughed. "You're a really sweet boy, Sebastian. I see what Dave sees in you."

"I'm gay, sweetheart," Sebastian gave an exaggerated flirtatious wink and they both laughed.

"How are things with Dave?" she asked, still smiling.

A soft, slow smile came over Sebastian's face and she giggled. "God, that's nice!" she sighed. "I'd forgotten how nice it is to be in love. You're not panicking anymore? Trying not to close down?"

"I… I'm trying," Sebastian admitted. "I feel safe with him, but… I get flashbacks."

"When?" Dr Gold asked, nodding and writing something.

"Um… sexytimes?" Sebastian grinned naughtily.

Dr Gold struggled to keep her mouth in a straight line. She closed her eyes and the corners of her mouth twitched again.

Sebastian watched her with a grin.

"This is fun," he smirked.

"I'm going to ignore that statement," Dr Gold choked out eventually, "But may I give you some advice?"

Sebastian frowned but nodded.

"Sex isn't something you need to rush into," she said softly. "God knows, I know how hard it is to be intimate with someone after that kind of first introduction to sex. Dave's still quite nervous about intimacy, even though he won't admit it. And coupling that with the fact that you're still having flashbacks, I'd advise you both to wait."

"We haven't had sex," Sebastian muttered. "But it'd be stupid to slow down from where we are. He doesn't push me, and I don't push him. It's just… what we're comfortable with. And it's nice to… have someone who loves me in that way…"

Dr Gold beamed.

"You're so strong, Sebastian," she smiled. "You're trying so hard to be a good boyfriend and you're doing an excellent job. You don't need to be perfect all the time, though. You know that Dave loves you, and he'll be there for anything you throw at him… What about your dad?"

Sebastian frowned. "You keep coming back to him," he rolled his eyes. "I told you, I don't talk to my dad about this."

"Do you feel loved by your father?" Dr Gold pressed. "Do you feel like if you told him about Brian, that you would have his support?"

Sebastian stared at the floor. "I think my hour's up," he said finally. "Thanks."

Dr Gold's eyes grew concerned and she shook her head. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. We can talk about something else…"

Sebastian stood up. "I'm not mad," he assured her. "And I'll come back… I just… need some time to think about that question, okay? I've wondered about it since I was fourteen and I… Dave said my dad told him he was worried about me and stuff, but… I think he's just saying it to make me feel good. Truth is; it surprises me every day that Dave still wants to be with me, because no one loves me, okay? My mom doesn't, and my dad tolerates me. And that's what I'm used to. Not Dave…"

Dr Gold scribbled something on her paper and shook her head. "Sebastian, I'm sure that's not..."

"-It is," he insisted, interrupting her. "It's the truth."

She nodded.

"You may feel that way, but I assure you, that there are many people who care about you, not just Dave. Tell me about your friends."

"I don't have friends."

Dr Gold didn't seem able to keep the shock from her face.

"None?"

"None."

She stammered. "D-Dave mentions some boys. Kurt? Blaine? Trent? Chandler?"

"I know them," Sebastian shrugged. "They all put up with me because I'm with Dave. Kurt flat out hates me. I almost blinded Blaine last year. I've teased and bullied Trent for years, and Chandler couldn't care less if I was alive or not."

Dr Gold's eyes filled with some emotion and Sebastian felt the rage fill him.

"Don't judge me!" he snapped. "You promised you weren't going to judge me!"

Her eyes widened in surprise and she raised her hands peacefully.

"I'm not judging you, sweetheart. I'm just feeling sorry for you that you feel so alone."

"I don't want your pity!" Sebastian shouted, "You sit in this little room and listen to other people's problems and feel happy you aren't them, when really, you go home alone and you live for other people's misfortune because it means you get to forget how fucking awful _your_ life is for a few hours!"

Dr Gold closed her notebook with a snap.

"You can't fool me, Sebastian," she smiled sadly. "I know what you do. This is your MO. You push people away when you feel them getting too close and intimate. This is what you tried to do to Dave. But the difference is that you have to come back to me. If you want help, you have to come back. Pushing me away and trying to hurt me won't help you."

Sebastian glared at her and she merely smiled comfortingly and indicated him to sit down again. Sebastian slumped over and sat down huffily. She laughed gently.

"You're used to people being terrified of you, aren't you?"

Sebastian shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm your friend," Dr Gold said eventually. "Yes, I'm paid to listen, but I genuinely want to help you."

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

She sighed gently. "Okay… Maybe you should think about what we talked about and I'll see you next week?"

Sebastian nodded grumpily.

"Dave's probably waiting outside," Dr Gold checked her watch. "Do you want a minute to talk to him first, or can I call him straight in?"

Sebastian looked briefly frightened. "No, I don't want to talk to him like this," he pleaded. "I can't control what I say when I get in this mood. I'll say something to upset him."

"Okay, okay," Dr Gold said soothingly, "I'll tell him I didn't let you talk, okay? I think it's pretty great that you know you're not in the right state of mind to talk to him. Just make sure you _do_ talk to him. _Tonight_. Calm down, then go to the gym and take it out on a punching bag, then go home and _call Dave."_

Sebastian nodded slowly. An idea was forming.

_Fight Club._

* * *

><p><strong>Oooooh :P<strong>


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